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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tanu khurana, Feb 16, 2012.

  1. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    hi friend
    iam here again bt i think after an year friends i need ur help once again....my dh is quite stubborn type and very helpful for other..i can call him an average dh.. on valentine day it is just a normal day in our lives.. i call him at 1 pm to tell iam going out with colleagues for sme work and eat something there...at 4:30 pm i came bk home my MIL just told me he just came back and had lunch outside... i just said hello where u had lunch? he didnt told me...day was over next day his friend called up and said my dh ,he , his wife and bhabi had luch yesterday as his friend never leaves his wife, my dh paid bill and took them all out.............i was shocked and broke up i was in school at dat time.. i called dh.. it was valentine day and u celebrated with them......... he was stubborn it is his money he can go with any1 he didnt ask me where i went? yesterday night he was shouting at me it his life he can live how he wants....in front of my mil if i do not lik this i can go home....he does not find me worthy for him to tell me............ i felt so hurt...........
     
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  2. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Tanu,

    Am sorry that your husband said that stuff and yelled at your in front of you Mother in law. But think, maybe he wanted to celebrate Valentine's day together, but you called and said you were going out with your colleagues. I am not accusing you, but you went out with your friends and so did he. Did you try suggesting that you could go out together and celebrate?

    Just forget this now and ask him if he'd be willing to celebrate another day like Valentine's day with you now. Or surprise him yourself. Its still Valentine's week :)
     
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  3. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    How is your relationship with your husband on rest of the days in the year?
     
  4. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    its an average relationship we share....but going with friends wife is something awful his friend was there and then yelling at me and not telling where he went???????????usually after having kiddo we never went out........ i felt so pain...... he said he does not find me worthy?
     
  5. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Tanu,
    One thing we women should remember is that men are not mind readers, they need to be told about certain things. You could have told him that both of you would have dinner on V Day , he could have invited his friends too.
    Instead you went out with your friends and he went out with his , leaving kid at home with MIL, am I right???
    Please plan your outings beforehand and let DH know that on x day you both will have dinner , movie etc as its a special day.
    If you plan outings with your friends then he will do the same,better go out as a family.
    Try and mix with his friends it will be a good way to enjoy.
    Go for dinner this weekend with him, have fun.
     
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  6. pari85

    pari85 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Tanu,

    As u mentioned ur problem and many of our frnds here gave nice suggestions too.i just want to add my bit.firstly u guys never went out after having kid,but that is not good at all.either u keep yourself too busy with the kid or when u are free you feel like going out with your friends ,where is the place for BOTH of you.may b after kid ,he thought you just ignored him.i am not blaming anyone but my point is some DH may also think that after kid marriage life is big bore.so dont let him think that way .you guys should find some time for each other .u start with yourself ,forget what happend on V'day ,its already gone.think about making every other day beautiful with him.Men usually dont like inquiring nature of gals ,so dont enquire where he went ,what he paid and all evrytimr,this irritates them.just chill yourself and give him little space.as u too want it sometime.think that way if evrytime your DH keep asking u,where u went ,with whom and how much u spend .u wont like that too.so just give little space to him and plan with him ur weeknd ,a special one.prepare somthing he likes,invite him for candle light dinner with u.make him feel important .and surely he will respond positively.give him some nice handmade thing or small notes which make him feel special for you and tell him even after kid ,he is your priority and most important person in your life.

    things will b smooth soon,do let us know ,what u think on this and what u guys do in ur coming weeknd:):)

    tc
    pari
     
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  7. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree with Pari85. If you feel you have grown apart after having your child, its time you start bridging the gap now. Try asking him to meet up for lunch on weekdays. It'd give you some time for each other. Or a weekend visit WITH your child to some place nice. There's always a lot of running to do in life, but you've got to make sure there's some time for your better half too. If your mom-in-law does not mind taking care of the child for a few hours, plan a night out for dinner or just a walk every now and then to catch up with each other.
     
  8. tanu khurana

    tanu khurana Bronze IL'ite

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    love u friends for ur pretty suggestions........i had one more blunder yesterday fighting with him again.....but i felt so sorry for that.just now i messaged him but he is too angry not replying.i have to make everything fine........ pray for me ....
     
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  9. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    Well don't fight with him. If you have any issues with him, talk to him peacefully and tell him that u want to spend time with him. May be he also wants the same but he not able to express it and is angry. Take the suggestions given by ppl in the forum and amend things leaving the past. Best of luck! :thumbsup
     
  10. tanoshii

    tanoshii Platinum IL'ite

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    Surprise him with a gift or a dinner/lunch date. Things will get better. Accusing him over and over again won't help dear. Hope you work it out. :)
     

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