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Thought provoking question.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by kishoremommy, Mar 13, 2012.

  1. kishoremommy

    kishoremommy Platinum IL'ite

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    I read the thread "Why talk about pain" and all the replies.

    One question popped up in my mind.

    Is there any post in Indus Ladies from a MIL or a FIL asking ideas to tackle a DIL .

    Just curious to know.

    If yes,please post the link.

    If no,then we should think why there are no such threads.

    Please,enlighten me.
     
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  2. aaral

    aaral Silver IL'ite

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    Not that I have come across but there is about daughters asking how to tackle their brothers' wife..........
    But I agree with you unspoken words speak volumes
     
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  3. kishoremommy

    kishoremommy Platinum IL'ite

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    I have read that thread.Thank you aaral.
     
  4. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    There are several reasons why MILs , FILs rarely post here about DILs but it doesnt mean that all are in a state of bliss!!
    Even parents dont come here to complain about their sons and daughters, why single out DILs?
    They are aged and maybe not comfortable with computers and English .
    They could be scared that if they complained they would be neglected in old age, sent to Old Age Homes.
    Maybe they are not financially well-off and dont have a computer.

    Maybe they are wise to accept their fate and have achieved nirvana!
    Umm , maybe they off-load their sorrows to real people like relatives and friends.............:coffee
    PS -What could be the average age of people who visit these forums??
     
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  5. omnam

    omnam Gold IL'ite

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    Our generation search for the solutions in Google only and we end up being in such forums.

    PILs and parents would talk to their set of friends, siblings and neighbours... they are not well-versed with internet and dont know if such forums exist or not.

    Number of SILs complaining about their bro's wife are less because they very well the answer ..... mind your business, dont interfere in bro's life.
     
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  6. sbonigala

    sbonigala Gold IL'ite

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    :) Hi KoshoreMommy,
    How have u been doing?

    There is not a single post from MIL/FIL as far as my knowledge goes!!

    Reason -

    1. They have been taught of using the computer only to skype/vid chat with their kids abroad.
    2. They have no knowledge such a forum/site exists.
    3. They know but they are hesitant to share their issues here becasue their DILs would already have accounts/logins for such sites and after they read and realise its actually the same issue going on at their home, things might become worse for the in-laws.

    4. They are not very sure if people would really believe when they say they have an issue with their DIL.
     
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  7. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    I have seen some threads form mils both about how tp tackle dil and about son in law. However, they are extremely rare, mainly because the older generation doesn't use computer much. However, there have been threads from some sils complaining about brother and his wife, but usually they get the reply that you should mind your own business, which is fair, so they keep out.

    Another reason is that mil's can complain about the dil to her daughters and other relatives and friends. But some dils do not have any kind of support. They wouldn't complain to their parents because they don't want to cause them worry or sometimes even their parents advise them to 'adjust'. Some of them don't have very close friends who they can confide in, not so close friends can be very judgmental and they wouldn't trust them.

    I also think society is biased towards older generation. They can usually get away with anything because they are old and thus more respected in the society. An old woman complaining about her dil will get more ears than a dil complaining about mil. The dil is supposed to adjust and not complain. That is why the forum is a nice place for her to pour her heart out and get some reassurance and comfort from other dils in the same boat or who may not be in the same boat but can understand her pain.
     
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  8. BerryPine

    BerryPine Gold IL'ite

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    Simple!! MIL/FIL has the space and freedom to ask anything to DIL face to face:)
     
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  9. poojachinoy

    poojachinoy Gold IL'ite

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    yea,i was thinking the same thing as berrypine.

    the not so good mils dont need a place to vent out...they are already done with their venting out buisness directly on the DIL'S..doing this is better than actually visiting this forum,because these mil's get to unload their frustration face to face with a dil..with the security that the dil will never answer back,dil will not resort to drastic measures fearing her married life,dil's parents will never get involved as they too fear for their daughters marriage added with societal/cultural pressure and lastly this mil will have her force of people(fil,sils and in most of the cases their sons,who are supposed to be standing up for their wife justifibly, on their side)..why need a virtual forum when the reality punching bag(dil)is much better anyday,anytime!!such an ego boost!

    the good mils on the other hand may not be so tech savy,may have their own set people they depend on for solace,may try to work out things with dil in reality..lastly if they are really good mothers and really want the best for their children,then they forsee and understand that not having expectations or interfering in their child's married life will eventually make their children happy, and this is where the mother's true happiness lies,if she has not considered her children to be investment packages...if the son/dil understand this true mothers love then they would definately respect and love her...if they dont then its the son/dils loss!
     
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  10. abc00

    abc00 Gold IL'ite

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    Sad that technology (computers)could not be of use to MIL/FILs/older generation. Atleast let the younger generation take advantage of technology by venting their sorrows. Who knows....someone up,close and personal may not hear them, but someone from virtual world could. We never know, God sends his help through many ways and IL forum could be one of such.
     
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