You sound a lot like me and other NRIs too ...only thing we moved to India and it was final!BUt still I do compare with my life in US,more luxurious,no disturbance.Finally I understood the gap in my life even now and when I was in US was not living with my parents,I mean in two diff. cities even after 4 yrs after moving from US I still feel an loneliness in y life,becuase all my relatives are in chennai.Given a slightest chance I wanted to be in chennai.Anyway I strictly told my hubby that in 2 yrs time we will settle in chennai only,I feel like going mad
Hi Tulips Applause!!! Great pointers, being a NRI myself, couldnt agree more! Life in a foreign soil is not all cheer and joy though we have a few advantages like what you rightly highlighted. While we may get captivated by exotic location and lifestyles, that longing to see our family, friends lingers on! I live by a simple mantra , .......there is some good everywhere; all we have to do is find it and exploit it to its maximum! Mega
Been there..done that....since 1998. 3 countries and 10+ moves later (twice as cargo)..... I am an expert in packing and moving my household items ...probably can do it even in my sleep. Sometimes we hardly had time to open those boxes and a few of them got carried from apartment to apartment without getting opened at all. You have written what I sometimes feel about my life and the 4 suitcases have been the only constant. Not to forget the weighing scale so that the suitcases are within the limits. R2I was tougher for DH than me and we left India again and I had thrown away the suitcases with joy. So now we have 4 new ones. But India has changed a lot since we left the first time. There are a few good improvements but some things have taken a turn for the worse (traffic, pollution, school fees etc). It was like we woke up and landed in an entirely new country. It was not home anymore. America had crept inside us without permissiona and had become home whether we realized it or not. R2I is difficult if we are still expecting the same India we left behind years back. My husband could simply not carry on conversation with people without getting annoyed by the lack of ethics or transparency. Almost everyday he got ripped off by someone as we set up house in India. I left because I could not see him suffer with his ulcer pain that started after we landed there and vanished once we left. So here I am no place to call home, missing India again.....stuffing those enormous suitcases into closets....not knowing when we will need them. Some times I think with uneasiness about where I will retire, where my children will settle down and whether I will be near them or far away. What if I R2I for retirement and if I cannot adapt now, how will I be able to do so later when we are more used to the western world way of life. In all these years, I have changed too. The exposure to various kinds of people has given me different perspectives, I have become independent, a bit more confident in my adapting skills and most importantly more of a take it easy person. To be constantly on the move means we will have just enough amount of energy to focus only on the high priority things and take it easy with the non essentials.
ILT, I know how it feels staying away from India. Yes, we too came to US with 4 suitcase. I can say we stayed in the same place BOSTON since 15yrs, though we moved to different apartments. First it was studio type apartment, from there moved to one bedroom, baggage size increased from 4 suitcase to 4 trips by car. After first kid, we wanted to move to 2bed room apt as I was expecting second child... it took 2 days to move entire things. After few yrs later, brought house as we needed more space, so we took 4 days to move entire things... Now moving back to India, guess what, moving our things with 40feet full container Moving/relocating is lot of pain.... :-(
Very well written & exactly what I too am feeling/going through after leaving India in 1992 !! Yes, 20 years away from homeland --- with just 3 quick visits in between for my wedding [1 month] & my kid's tonsure ceremony[ 2 weeks] & to sell a property [ 2 weeks] ! 3 countries - countless moves, even more countless memories but no roots as yet Your last paragraph perfectly depicts my attitude change too ...though I can't express as nicely as you've done, I too have become into someone even I cannot recognise as 'me'
Hmm... Sense of belonging. What makes us feel home? Family around? Seeing same race people around you when you shop? Being one among the 100? Doing the same thing the neighbor does for dinner? What makes us locals in a place? Have progress and prosperity, but still it doesn't complete us and give us the sense of security in another country? So which year mark defines that we are a local in a place? I know its Friday and I am brain fried already. Anyways. I think it is upto us to make the most of the situation if you can. There is a saying, You can't have the cake and EAT IT TOO ;-) Happy weekend people !! Enjoy the people around you no matter what race they are, end of the day, we are all of HUMAN RACE
Kudos to the last response.... All we have to remember is everybody is human and most times a simple heart-felt smile will break a lot of barriers and you can make friends in the most unexpected quarters.... One thing i've realized is that a lot of indians are quick to judge and are class-conscious... if we stop being that... life becomes a lot more simple and easy.... and not at all lonely.... just my two-pence worth... j
