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Things you wished your inlaws would know......

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by ennaye, Apr 18, 2009.

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  1. Apr 20, 2009 #11
    ennaye

    ennaye Silver IL'ite

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    You are welcome to your views.

    Frankly , the above pts are not entirely my views.

    Its what I have gathered from mainly DILs views.

    Personally, I feel that these pts are very superfluous. There are only two kinds of people in any relationship.
    Ones who CARE and ones who DON'T CARE. Rest is all luck of the draw.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2009
    ennaye, Apr 20, 2009
    ennaye, Apr 20, 2009
    #11
  2. Apr 22, 2009 #12
    pals

    pals New IL'ite

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    Another thing -

    Treat your SNIL and DIL on same par as your Daughter/Son and don't treat them as outsiders. If you want your SNIL/DIL to respect and love you like their own parents, treat them also like your own children.
     
    pals, Apr 22, 2009
    pals, Apr 22, 2009
    #12
  3. Apr 22, 2009 #13
    sandu

    sandu Bronze IL'ite

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    Nice list and one that nears exhaustion...

    Some extra points:
    1. Now that your son is married, his first priority is his wife & children. Do not impose yourselves on them as their first priority.

    2. Give your son and dil the privacy they deserve. Dont join in wherever they go, dont keep your son at your side all day long & release him just at bed-time.

    3. Accept the dil as one in your family and dont think of her as your rival. It is fair to "let go" of some of the things you do for your son (like give him coffee, choose his outfit, etc.) Not many dil's take it casually when you keep on tending to your son yourself and not making way for her. It only adds fuel to the fire although you may mean well.

    Regards,
    Sandhya
     
    sandu, Apr 22, 2009
    sandu, Apr 22, 2009
    #13
  4. Apr 22, 2009 #14
    amul

    amul Silver IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Really a very excellent list and quite intresting while I am going thru.
    Above all I can only say that inlaws should not interfere in his son's family once he is married untill and unless we approach them.

    regards
    amul.
     
    amul, Apr 22, 2009
    amul, Apr 22, 2009
    #14
  5. Apr 22, 2009 #15
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The meaning of "Live and let live".
     
    Rihana, Apr 22, 2009
    Rihana, Apr 22, 2009
    #15
    Bluelagoon likes this.
  6. Apr 23, 2009 #16
    Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    I see. If you feel that these points are superfluous, then what exactly was the idea behind posting these here, in the first place?
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2009
    Malyatha, Apr 23, 2009
    Malyatha, Apr 23, 2009
    #16
  7. Apr 23, 2009 #17
    ennaye

    ennaye Silver IL'ite

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    Let me put it this way:

    I take care of all these points and abide by them I think I am a super MIL.

    But my DIL may still be finding faults with me inspite of these 'good 'qualities I have. Its her way of thinking. If you want to find fault with anyone you will and can. To that extent these become superfluous ,no?

    You did not quote my next words. You would have found the connection.

    But its ok! Its how you choose to react.

    Thanks for taking the discussion further.
     
    ennaye, Apr 23, 2009
    ennaye, Apr 23, 2009
    #17
  8. Apr 23, 2009 #18
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly the question that came to my mind. I read that long list, and thought most were very valid, and thought that there is hope for
    (wo)mankind after all. Then, we are told they are actually superfluous. So, why post them in the first place [​IMG] ? And, reading what was written after that does not help either in seeing any connection.

    Time of people who responded seriously to the points has been wasted. [​IMG]

    Rihana
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2009
    Rihana, Apr 23, 2009
    Rihana, Apr 23, 2009
    #18
  9. Apr 23, 2009 #19
    Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    The connection is that the OP was apparently being SARCASTIC when she put up her first post. Writing it as if she really meant what she was typing here, only to tell everyone who responded later on that OOPS! She wasn't really serious, that actually she thinks that it's a ridiculous waste of PILs' time to even RESPECT boundaries, stay out of the SNILs' / DILs' lives, respect your adult child's changed priorities etc etc etc, because SNIL / DIL won't acknowledge their (in-laws') goodness towards them (SNIL/DIL), anyway!

    NO. It wasn't wasted because I'm sure it'll help those of us, saddled with interfering, TOXIC MILs, realize that we aren't alone and that there are MANY MILs out there walking around with a sense of entitlement a yard long, and a sense of propriety barely a few nanometers long!!
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2009
    Malyatha, Apr 23, 2009
    Malyatha, Apr 23, 2009
    #19
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  10. Apr 23, 2009 #20
    AnshuSinha

    AnshuSinha Senior IL'ite

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    Very nice Sandhya...kind of you spoke my mind...
     
    AnshuSinha, Apr 23, 2009
    AnshuSinha, Apr 23, 2009
    #20
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