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The women in your life - For Indian Guys

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by rissy, Jan 4, 2012.

  1. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Rissy...to be honest I don't buy this too. I am a woman and much as I would like to imagine myself as some kind of a saint sacrificing my happiness and life at the altar of marriage I am not one .
    Yes there are compromises to be made ..but its not just me ..my DH does too.
    And I live my life to the fullest and mostly on my own terms.
    Most of the couples I see /move around with are in the same boat. Both the DHs and DWs sacrifice to keep the family boat afloat and many of the hubbys today pull their share of the domestic load even when the
    DW is a stay at home mom. Yes there are exceptions and I feel bad for the women in that situation but glorifying the whole lot of us somehow makes a mockery of the reality.
     
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  2. chandu141

    chandu141 Silver IL'ite

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    Guys do' t fight , or do' t judge people.. i just wanna say that there is no any person is same as other. and may be its about yesterday but these days Men or women there is no difference. so talk about everything but not relating to discrimination relating to anything.. :rant

    i do' t understand indus2' s post that, to which point he is targeting ..:confused2:

    Anyways nice thread Rissy, thanks for sharing.. :cheers
     
  3. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    Wow!! the level of confidence(I truly believe that its very good self esteem but not the over confidence) bleeding out of your thought while posting this... You got two legs under your body to keep it standing.. I dont see this on any one who enjoys the self pity by drafting their low confidence with a nicely knitted set of words to buy the pity from others...
    All those statements doesnt make sense.. if you have the feeling of YOU.. and YOURSELF first.. a world class self confidence as a person before attaching a gender..
    While reading the original post, I thought I can re-write each and every line by changing a gurl's perspective to a guy's perspective without losing any single thought...

    Dear Gurls(or even guys).. think yourself as a person first before you are a female(or male).. if you dont have guts to face this world with your own confidence, keep reading the nice sayings and keep listening to the words of pity on you and enjoy your weakness. If not.. get your wits out and kick the DH or DW or who ever DX, if you are correct.... and move on...

    I HATE self pity...I would rather be TEMPORARILY DEAD instead of feeling the self pity for that moment...
     
  4. riyagan

    riyagan Gold IL'ite

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    once when my mom used to watch those saas bahu mega serials i dont exactly know how much i hated those. i was constantly telling my mom not to watch those telling that they are exaggerated to the core and spoils one's temper and mentality whoever watching it addictively. outside world is so different from what they show.

    then i got married. now if u ask me about those serials it may not be happening in every household. but am convinced that it cud happen to one in thousand girls in india. Am a confident person.. bold and courageous. sometimes things happen that we dont expect much in our life. taking steps against it or even venting it out does not expel us from being strong. The post simply suggest men to "GROW UP" may be in a cliched way or exaggerated manner. but the point is there are different levels of spoiled men. this message goes to all.

    an eg from my life. its just week after my marriage. i was helping my mother in law in the kitchen...cutting vegetables. she was telling me how the wedding preparations made by my parents were cheap and my inlaws did a grand wedding for their daughters..and was comparing the jewels, silver articles, silk sarees etc.. then she suddently goes on like "i once asked my son before ur marriage, what wud u do if ur wife is not obedient and not listening to my words? and he replied i wud throw her out of the house mom. then i asked what wud u do if she has ur kid? and he replied i wud throw her out along with kid momma." she said that to me with a sparkling victory in her eyes. i dint say anything back.. was submissive that time.


    wud i bring up my kid in this manner infesting with such thoughts to feed insecurity and selfishness and spoil a child's beautiful temper into a ugly and hateable one? NO. As satchi said there must be awareness atleast not to turn into such moms in future and the young guys to turn into wife abuser.

    good post rissy by the way most of the men cant understand as u said.
     
  5. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    @riyagan Till reading the first half of your second paragraph, I was getting the impression of another strong and confidant gurl but you gradually fell into that CRY BABY way towards the end of the paragraph..
    In fact, as I have mentioned above, each and every line of the Original Post can be applicable when you change gurl to guy and guy to gurl..
    I would like to see myself (and even others too) to stand on their will and move on instead being cry baby on others..
    In any event, I liked your courage.. keep being like that and give the others around you(including your family) a piece of the courage by being a model..
     
  6. riyagan

    riyagan Gold IL'ite

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    SreeSri, ive comeout of my early marriage miseries (entirely becos of inlaws) successfully without jeopardising my marriage which i give myself a pat on my back. I hav given my hubby a successful marriage life regardless of what kind of parents he is wired with in this life. one way i think ive rescued him from emotional abuses and gained for him a lot of respect which wasnt there before marriage. you wud want me end up my marriage just becos my hubby's mother is cunning?? wont i be a loser if i do so??? u wud want me to give up her son and my marriage and turn my back? thats what she wanted. but i dint give that satisfaction to her. is that what u say "being a cry baby on others"? if so am happy and proud that am a crybaby.

    i dont mind if the gurl and guy change places and its posted in some men's forum. its not the point of concern here. yes, there are bad girls knotted with good guys too. agreed!

    and about moving on instead of being a cry baby.... what wud u suggest? divorce??and what's after that..(am not talking about being confident or having financial independence) whats the probability of getting a gud guy instead of a momma boy unless one wud like to choose being gay. (by this am not offending anyone/any social group...)its just hard to find a perfect man out there whose ideas about wife is NOT poisoned my moms for their entire bachelor life. whats the solution for ppl who is straight and want to be in a marriage relationship as well
     

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