1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

The whole thing is to shift into making conscious choices!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Srama, Dec 29, 2011.

  1. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    8,707
    Likes Received:
    8,689
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    [JUSTIFY]
    I have never been good at making resolutions, so forget about keeping them! They are oh so long term and that is intimidating, very! So I convince myself that I set intentions - many times in a year, only to realize that just mere intentions are not good enough! So comes along the next word "goal" - yes it can be short or long term and just when I realize that this is something I can work on, I realize that goals without plans are mere wishes! Now now, I know I am a planner and I do plan but what not everyone knows is my plans have to change - constantly and consistently to accommodate the life I have role playing, as a mom, sister, wife, friend etc.

    So what am I talking about here? No not certainly about the "me" time! I get plenty of it. I simply have to ask my DH or immerse myself in a book or a drawing! I know all this is helping me become a better person every day. And no, I am not talking about the "role playing/structured way of living" - we have enough boundaries set by ourselves and the society we live in to accomplish those. We get up, drag ourselves, yes even with enthusiasm many a times thankfully, because the school has a set time the kids have to reach in, the office has certain expectations, the 'to-do' list to be accomplished before the kids get home, the gym to hit, the bills to pay - all of this helping me feel accomplished and in control of the roles I am playing in my day to day life. Not a bad thing huh! I seem to be living the life well and full by any normal stretch of imagination.

    Well, then very often out of the blue, I am reminded of my grandmother - the way she felt a compulsion to want to sit in prayer or meditation. So what if it was at the prime time of the day when my own mom was struggling to get us kids and husband ready and out in time. My mother sure could have used another pair of hands, then. But my mom seemed to understand my grand mom's need and the proof came when she herself became like my grand mom later on when we were more grown up and old enough to take care of our needs. Now what fascinated me the most about all this is how they could sit quietly without actually doing anything - oh yes I hear you, they might be in sync with what's happening around them and listening to every word but the fact is they could sit and let us not assume it was in sheer laziness - they were the most active people I have ever known! You know that kind of sitting around is different and here they were clearly working towards a goal, apparently and hopefully towards focusing on their inner selves.

    The hardest thing is just to be quiet or to do an activity deliberately - for self, like when my mom and grand mom would spend a set portion of time making those cotton decorations to adorn God with or any other such activity that was done simply because they wanted to! I think about this often for the battle, resolution, goal, wish call it whatever it is, that I am trying to get over is to bring in a daily practice of quietness be it either through yoga or meditation all by myself hopefully at the same time, everyday or to be able to sit and browse the internet only so long and no more or to read a book only till the allotted time and not get carried away or to spend just the right amount of time on that drawing and get back to it with the same focused attention!

    I know I also love exercise be it spinning or yoga, but the only time I am able to do this is if I am with a group of people. I do run, run alone too but then I seem to need the company of my head phones at least. I often wonder as to why it is easy to do when expectations are set/supported by the outer world and so hard when it is set by my own self, why sometimes it is so hard to get up and practice those asansa, so hard to keep that book down, to stop that drawing that I am so passionate about or to even pick that brush up to begin that drawing without thinking about what needs to be accomplished next as soon as I keep the brush down, again. And then, I found the answer, as always in the book "Mystics musings", explained like this and I quote -

    "Now the whole thing is to shift into making conscious choices. Even a simple act like waking up in the morning, sometimes, the unconscious choice is that you don't want to wake up, because with light comes today's stock prices, with light comes today's problems, with light comes the whole world into your life. So you are trying to unconsciously to screen yourself from all that; but now we make a conscious choice. Even after you wake up, the unconscious choice is that you want to drink a cup of coffee; the body feels comfortable with it. But now you can make a conscious choice, "No, I will have a cold water bath and do yoga asanas".

    Why ascetic paths were set is simply because of this: you start doing things that are not naturally comfortable for you. Once you start doing such activity that is uncomfortable for you, you do it, but you don't like it. If you have to do something that you do not like, you can only do it consciously; there is no other way to do it. Yes? Things you like, you can do compulsively, but things you don't like, you can only do consciously. You start doing everything consciously; there is no other way to be. Now, slowly you are practicing how to be conscious in various situations in life. When you are hungry, the natural urge is to grab food and eat. But now you pause and make a conscious choice. Early morning you want to drink coffee, but you sit and do your yoga kriyas. You cannot do it any other way but by being conscious about it. Drinking coffee, you can do in unawareness. I am not saying you cannot do that in awareness, but you can easily do it in unawareness. Now, you cannot do your kriyas in unawareness. You have to be aware. So like this, you are cultivating awareness into different aspects of life. May be initially your awareness is only for half an hour a day, but gradually you are bringing awareness to more aspects of life - it only enhances the quality of life"
    PS: I have shortened some of the sentences from the book to be in more sync with what I am thinking!

    I found the answer to the question ("I wonder as to why it is easy to do when expectations are set by the outer world and so hard when it is set by my own self.") I had raised in the previous paragraph in this sentence alone "Now the whole thing is to shift into making conscious choices." The only way we can see the intangible benefits of a goal, an idea that we have set for ourselves is by making it a conscious choice. I cannot help but wonder if by making these conscious choices we learn to be less guilty and right now, the answer seems to be a big yes.

    So with that intent/resolution/goal/idea of at least learning to make conscious choices and hence making the changes, I wish you all a Happy New Year!

    [/JUSTIFY]
     
    13 people like this.
    Loading...

  2. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    4,857
    Likes Received:
    8,085
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Very nice Sabitha!
    I just want to touch on two things you have said which I understand and agree!

    Performance with consciousnesss - I always tell my children to do anything with consciousness. I realized that only when I was in my early 30s how important this is and will definitley reflect in the quality of the end-product/results.
    For example: I realize that when I practice my music as a routine I don't remember anything in the next class. Same thing with my home work, housework and office work... what I do with a conscious effort has always provided the best results.
    I used to wish that I put this much effort during my teen years! :)
    The second point is consistency:
    Whatever changes/challenges/resolutions we make, no matter which time of the year, the key to sticking to is consistency. They say it takes 30 days to make anything into a habit.
    So I am sure it is not setting goals and giving up as undoable/unstickable, but with the combination of conscious effort and consistency we can achieve anything we want to.

    A very inspiring article at the right time of the year when we look forward to a brand new year!
    Loved it!
     
    7 people like this.
  3. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    8,707
    Likes Received:
    8,689
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Perfect Kamala just perfect.
    That is all I was trying to say, even to myself. I realise just like you mention only later in life that conscious action is so important and am neverthless glad to be practising it even if late! Now like you, I do try hard to impart the values to my kids - conscious effort and consistency what a great combination.

    Thank you for your feedback and lovely comments. I couldn't ask more!
     
  4. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,893
    Likes Received:
    7,047
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Very reflective post Sabitha... and I really love ur new year resolution..
    Make conscious choices...which lead to changes!So simple and yet so profound..
    Happy new year!
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    8,707
    Likes Received:
    8,689
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you JAG, you made my day! I can get verbose and always worry about loosing sight of what I want to convey - to others and myself. Your response makes me feel better and am all smiles. Thank you for your response and your wishes JAG!​
     
  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    23,357
    Likes Received:
    26,257
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    Sabitha,
    would it look bad if I say i was thinking on the same lines, for the past few days, and infact wanted to prod into depth on the reasons.

    I agree with kamala, that it is more to do with the intent, and consistency rather than resolutions. take it as a small goals towards the ultimate target. on that note I always used to wonder at the parting words of a relative when i was too young to understand.."Polachi kidanthaal paarkaalam".(loosely translated if i am still live and kicking will meet again)..actually this is saying goodbye but more profound..you never know what is in store for the next moment..

    For me, it is about small baby steps rather than sitting hours to make it a routine..but all said, the baby steps with consistency lead to habits and that is something we need to imbibe from our elders.

    I tell my kids ,

    Ambitions without Conscious efforts is the beginning of illusion.
    Ambitions, with consistency, is the beginning of Miracles.

    there is still time for them to really get the grasp of the meaning as i am still tethering in the vicinity of the actual truth..

    Goals should not be made because somebody else does it, but because you want to do it and believe that you can do it even if it were difficult, and something you cannot relate to in the beginning..(kriyas as you say..)

    BTW, sitting simply,in a meditating mood can be mastered.. again the choice of actually doing it or to act as if are both left to your conscious choices..Mystic musings is a good read, or more depending on your own reception..

    Good one. as always you take me to a different plane of thinking with your thoughful parallel thought process, i am sure your helping somebody to think a little more about their SELF...

    Happy new year to you and your family and to more conscious choices and learning...
     
    8 people like this.
  7. kottravai

    kottravai Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    368
    Likes Received:
    338
    Trophy Points:
    125
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sabitha,
    Perfect timing, at least for me! For many, your article would have arrived in the nick of time as the new year is around the corner. But for me, it is a bit different, not because the new year is coming but rather because i have stepped into a new phase of my life and struggling to come to terms with it, yet trying to enjoy it. Having come into the wedding game a bit late, I find that my independence over the years has given me quite a baggage of preconceived notions and ideas, because of which I find 'adjustment' coming not so easily. I am still not coming to terms with clothes being strewn around, things out of place and all that are associated with the male species. Of course, my DH has so many good things that I'm really happy about and should be grateful for, but these small things do irritate me a lot, especially as I am used to keeping my place tidy and orderly.

    One may wonder as to why I'm rambling my newly married life in this fb. Well, there is a point and I'm coming to it. I was finding myself getting frustrated for even the smallest things and it still irks me that I'm not able to do things as much as I'd have liked. Having enjoyed quality me-time so far, I am finding it a bit difficult that my day is always filled with chores and that I'm not able to even read or listen to music. I am losing a part of me. Sometimes, I just think too much. :)

    "Having to make a conscious choice" is what is the need of the hour for me. Even though I can analyse and find out what is wrong with me, I am finding it difficult to implement the solution. Your post has re-iterated what my subconscious knew all along but what my mind refused to acknowledge - to have to make a conscious choice and stick to it. I know I need time and a lot of patience to get my routine set. I am just hoping that I maintain my calm as much as I can. So, your post, for me, is like a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on, that says things are going to be ok. And for that, I thank you and the Supreme being that moved you to write this post.

    Have a very Happy, Prosperous & Rewarding New Year!!!!!
     
    8 people like this.
  8. mansimahi

    mansimahi Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    610
    Likes Received:
    849
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    A profound post at the right time of the year... inspiring us for a new beginning. According to our ancient scriptures, for good mental and physical health one needs to even breathe with consciousness - pranayama. Doing our everyday actions with awareness and consciousness anchors us to each moment and brings out the best in us. It is the most natural method to centre ourselves in the present... but it is something that we have forgotten to practice...and things become kind of routine and stressful. Thanks for the gentle reminder to be consicous and aware !!

    Heres wishing you a very rewarding 2012.
     
  9. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,587
    Likes Received:
    2,775
    Trophy Points:
    445
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sabitha
    It was wonderful reading your post.
    Only when we have a goal we do succeed in life.

    It was great reading other fbs too. You always have wonderful topics to write.

    Happy New year to you and your family.
     
  10. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    8,707
    Likes Received:
    8,689
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Absolutely absolutely not Shanthi. I can totally understand for I have going through the same for the last couple of months! So I am only happy to know that there are others and known to me who understand - that makes it all more wothwhile!

    That is what I was trying to say - for our elders to reach certain habits, they must have started early with baby steps and I was wondering about how as a child I missed where as my mom seemed to be aware!

    Of course you and I know that it cannot be understood in a day and implemented - I think it is that constant remider that will help them and us later on! That is all we can do, as paarents keep imbibing and it would have certainly registered!

    the truth is I happen to have the book and i am only glad to open at any page on a day and just read what that page has to offer or not for that day! It has been so long since I have read a book back to back that I am pining for it so much!

    Thank you Shanthi and you know that means a lot. Like I have said many times, when I write down it is usually to clear my own thinking and in the process if someone else can relate, i am happy. And the reason I write here, I love the different insights I get and it is always fun to learn and see that there are others who are thinking on the same lines!
    Thank you shanthi and thank you for your feedback!
     

Share This Page