1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

The Sperm Donor! - Those With Weak Hearts Stay Back

Discussion in 'Saturdays with Varalotti' started by varalotti, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,047
    Likes Received:
    1,238
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Swetha,
    This story deals with sex; but the core of the story is male chauvinism. Forgive me, Swetha and correct me,if I am wrong. I have been observing many members of the newer generation. I have had the privilege of listening to them when I counsel them. I am privy to some of their most personal thoughts and feelings.

    In the newer generation the male chauvinism part is very subtle but much stronger than the older generation.

    You are more like my daughter and I need to put you on alert especially when you are about to get married.
    Modern dress, ipods, cargo trousers, call centre jobs, or international trips do not negate chauvinism; in many cases they effectively hide it.

    Thanks for the nice words about this story. But writing this was like walking on the edge of a sharp knife. One word this way or that way I would have crossed my limits.
    But my grief is that even after such great efforts no magazine (tamil or English) considered this for publication.
    thanks once again for the fb.
    love,
    sridhar
     
  2. swethakrishnan

    swethakrishnan Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sridhar Unlce
    Absolutely right! I cant agree with you more on this!!!

    Thank you so much ... I've told you that for me, you are like family ... thats why I call you Unlce instead of Sir ... But I will not be getting married till I finish CA ... and thats like another 2-3 years ... but no harm in knowing ... better safe than sorry! So innu 2-3 varsham aagum ... adhuverekkum kalayaane saapaaduku wait panna vendeerkum!!!

    You are most welcome. You deserve much more than just a mere thank you for your work ...

    Trust me, these magazines have lost out on a good article. Our society is not as broad-minded as you are ... thats the problem ... God only knows when we will be ready to talk about such things in public and raise awareness ... that'll help a lot of women (maybe men also!)

    Regards
    SWETHA
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2009
  3. neets

    neets Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    698
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    55
    Gender:
    Female
    :eek:mg: while reading,like anita i too became shocked and puzzled hearing the bursting offensive dialogues of raj,finally the male chauvinist animal did come out and anita within minutes she understood whats hppening and she was brave enough to walk out.:thumbsup

    "vulgar and obscene " no way!!!!!!! how could anyone say so??? when are these people going to change???



    neethu.
     
  4. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,047
    Likes Received:
    1,238
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks neethu for the kind words. I am really happy and thrilled to have the story certified by you as "vulgar and obscene, no way"

    thanks once again.
    love,
    sridhar
     
  5. archana.kc

    archana.kc Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,925
    Likes Received:
    168
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sir,

    My first post on your forum! I read the Sperm Donor story yesterday during a break time, and was thinking about it at length, during lunch. You should have seen the aghast fury that came into me, as I was thinking on the final words of the story. The almost feminist in me awoke and was taken aback at the way how the so called modern generation of men behave. A friend of mine, on seeing my thoughts( read hearing) wanted to read the story. Just sent the link across to her. I wonder what her reaction would be on reading it.

    I wonder why tamil magazines do not want to publish this story. Call it cowardice, or lack of exposure. I remember reading a story on WE years back about a pregnant woman being raped - her confusions on if she should go in for a abortion - her final decision to bear the child - her husband's unflinching support - and the final climax of having two babies ( one of her husband's and one of the rapist's) were all captured so beautifully in this story. Her entire family stands by her. I also remember a huge conversation ( read arguement) with a friend on how WE could publish such "sick" stories,and me defending the poor WE!

    Also read SHE yesterday. I dont know if anyone in IL has surpassed this, but I managed to finish all the 17 episodes in a matter of 3 hours, last night ( 11.30 - 2.30). I personally could relate to the boldness of Shalini, and the search for a independent life. But, all said and done - the core Indian woman in me did not see a point in her search for a partner, after partner. I was almost about to quit reading after the episode where there is a slight hint of her developing a sense of passion for Shyl, but neverthelsss continued. The last episode was fantastic. A truly new twist to the story,and an extremely emotional one at that. A beautiful story. My mind was visualising every scene ( read post) of the story, and it was the climax that stole my heart.

    Thanks a million for making my lunch breaks though provoking!

    Arch
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2009
  6. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,047
    Likes Received:
    1,238
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Arch,

    thanks for your very first post in the forum. In fact this story was rejected by WE, saying that it was too explicit bordering on obscenity. Of course the main issue is about childbirth fertility etc. but the central idea of the story is feminism, or rather the basic courtesy of treating a woman as a man's equal when it comes to critical choices in life.

    I remember writing a small incident in IL long back. Where the husband would tell his wife that as she could not bear a child for him he was going to marry her sister with her permission. The lady would ask time and then in the next morning say before her in-laws and husband, that to double the chances of getting a baby, she would marry the husband's younger brother. The family would be aghast. The lady would walk out of the house with a smile.

    I don't think anybody in IL could beat your record of reading SHE at a stretch of 3 hours. It took more than that time to just write one episode.
    Now SHE is inspired (or rather arose out of rage) when I read Kushwant Singh's company of women. There he would talk about a man going search of different woman and finally die an ignoble death by aids. That book was rightly classified as soft **** by many women forums.
    My answer to the elderly Sikh is SHE. Well I could not write as much as I wanted to. And I could not end the story in any other way.

    thanks for your time, Arch. Did you hear about my story appearing in Jaya TV from Monday onwards? For details please click this link
    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/v...tories/68382-varalottis-story-on-jaya-tv.html

    I am also writing blogs these days. Please pay a visit during one of those lunch-breaks.
    love,
    sridhar
     
  7. vijianand

    vijianand Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    187
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Sridhar Sir,

    I read this story yesterday and thought over it... also discussed it with my husband. The reason the hero gives for not wanting to adopt is so insane. The moment I read that the song verse..." entha kuzhandaiyum nalla kuzhandai thaan mannil pirakkaiyile.. avar naalavar aavthum theeyar aavathum annai/thanthai( ithu naana sethundathu) valarpiniley" came to my mind.

    Artificial insemination, I personally think is a way of helping couples to get to the next stage , and help them end their agony and give them the joy of becoming parents.

    There are still people out there who are unable to understand this.

    This guy in your story is definitely not modern in his thinking.I say this 'cos he is comfortable with his wife sleeping with someone of his choice, but when she suggests he calls her names.
    If something like this happens may bemin reality in a very far future...a guy with this mentality cannot love the child as his own.

    ( Sir I have just expressed my opinions here. If I have wirtten amything wrong please pardon me).

    Regards,
    Viji
     
  8. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,047
    Likes Received:
    1,238
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Viji,

    You are right. the hero is insane. The problem with us writers is that we love these insane people. Rational people making perfectly right decisions do not interest us. We can't build a story around them.

    But you know that the world has more insane people than sane ones. An acquaintance of mine who did not have a child even after ten years of marriage adopted a child. They brought up the child for than two years.

    Then they found that their child was giving them too much trouble. You know what they did? They simply gave up the child again for adoption. That's like shopping for a mobile phone or a LCD TV.

    I also remember that song in MGRs film Neethikku Thalai Vanangu. But there are certain inherent qualities which can't be changed by upbringing.
    Haven't you heard of the Avvaiyar's song?

    சித்திரமும் கைப்பழக்கம் செந்தமிழும் நாப்பழக்கம்
    வைத்ததொரு கல்வி, மனப்பழக்கம் - நித்தம்
    நடையும் நடைப்பழக்கம் நட்பும் தகையும்
    கொடையும் பிறவிக் குணம்

    Many people just quote the first line. Avvaiyar is categorical that you can learn painting, writing by practice. Can excel in studies by applying your mind to it. But certain qualities like friendship, giving and love yes, they have to come by birth.

    You are quite right about artificial insemination. I have suggested that method to a few of my friends and they are living happily with their children today. But the guy in this story is a kind of pervert. That's why he is suggesting a weird way out. And the wife's retort is not because she loves somebody but just to teach her husband a powerful lesson.

    Please don't be afraid of writing anything here. As I have been repeating in every other post this is a discussion board and not a fan club. And everyone can voice their views here. If I have counter-arguments I'd present them here.

    thanks once again, viji.
    love,
    sridhar

     
  9. manjulapathy

    manjulapathy Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    286
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: tricky situation

    What is 'VULGAR'? people use this word without knowing the meaning. 75% of the Film songs are vulgar. Does anyone care about it? Even children sing such songs in the so called reality shows!! Who cares?
    You have dealt with very delicate subject. It is an eye opener. I lked Anitha's reaction. As Varalekshmi mentioned there is no gurentee that child of genius will be a genius. Havent we all heard the famous saying " vadyar pillai makku "? (No offence) But again no vadyar pillai is makku now a days. What I am trying to say is there is no hard and fast rule for anything....
    regards,
    Manjula
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2009
  10. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    9,047
    Likes Received:
    1,238
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Re: tricky situation

    Very happy and relieved to see this fb. This story was rejected by Anandhavikatan, by Womens Era and a host of other mags calling it vulgar. Of course I wrote it way back in 1998 and at that time our mags were not matured enough to handle it.
    All the efforts taken to have an ideal, smart, beautiful child always ends up in complications. A girl in our neighbourhood wanted to have the healthiest baby in the town and swallowed dozens and dozens of vitamin pills. Ultimately she gave birth to a big-headed monster, caused by an overdose of nutrients and vitamins.
    When we can't even plan our day ahead, how can we hope to plan for a child with particular qualities.
    I wrote this story only to highlight the chauvinism prevalent in sensitive matters like this.
    thanks for the fb, Manjula.
    love,
    sridhar
     

Share This Page