The Sinking Ship

I was ushered into the room filled with incense of joss sticks and I noticed the sculpted image of a lotus. The interviewrs, burly men mostly with handlebar moustaches, some with beareds and vemillion marks on their foreheads looked at me as if their eyes were X-ray machines.


Hi” I said.


“Jai Shri Ran “ they rumbled in chorus.


“Jai Shri Ram” I mumbled apologetically realizing my mistake.


“Where’s your manners?” asked one angrily” No pranams for us?”


I fell flat on the ground and did obeisance to them.


“That’s better said another interviewer approvingly. “You haven’t forgotten your sanskar after all.


I almost blurted out that I associated sanskar only with last rites but kept my counsel.



“The reason why we are looking for a new spokespersons is the existing ones do not want to go before the TV cameras to justify our recent actions and debacles. I seems they l have lost touch with the art of defending the indefensible. How do you react to the inclusion in our party of Narayan Rane and Naresh Agarwal. Remember we have been accusing one of being anti-national and other of corruption”.


“The party is pure like the Ganges despite all its pollution. People like the towo you mentioned will be purified by joining us” I said. “BRAVO” yelled the interviewrs in unison.


And what is your view on our recent poll debecles , particularly in Phulpur and Gorakhpur?” one bear


“Debacle what debacle?” I exclaimed “ Thse are victories not defeats”


“Come again?” said an interviwer.


We actually won the seats because the people are with us. The votes were wrested from us by Pakistan’s inter Services intelligence (ISI) and its henchmen posing as opposition party as part of making all these constituencies fiefs of Pakistan” I said.


They bravoed again in unison.


“What should we do now?” was the next question.


“Easy. Unleash the taxmen, enforcement directorate, customs IB , RAW Times Now and Republic TV on these vile, unpatriotic, anti-Hindu members of Afzal Brigade” I said.


“Great ! Looks likr Lord Ram has sent us the right person as spokesman. But one last question. What do you think of Telugu Desam qutting the NDA?”


“A bunch of rats?” I said scornfully,


“I know they ratted on us. What other description would be this apt” said one interviewer mournfully.


“Not only that. Who else would desert a sinking ship first?” I blurted out and then bit my tongue.


Thje entire interview biard pounced on me with a roar. Blows were felt and words like “Paapi, durachari” were heard.


I sat up drenched in sweat. There were no interviewers, Only my wife was looking at me curiously.


“What is all this nonsense about rats and sinking shipps” she said. “Didin’t I tell you to stop watching movies like Titanic and Poseidon on TV?

 

Safran sind alle meine Alptraume

 

aLL POLATICIANS TRAVEL IN A nOAH'S ARK KIND OF SHIP' iT SINKS . WHO SURVIVES? THE PEOPLE OF COURSE.

 

tHAT IS HORROR NOT HONOR.

 

TRUE VISWA, AS THEY GO SAILING NEXT YEAR, IT WOULD NE A SURPRISE IF THEIR TITANIC IS NOT SUNK BY AN ICEBERG.