The Romantics and the Classics

Romantics and classics

While we need the classics to run the world, the romantics make it worth the running

BY VARALOTTI RENGASAMY

There are two types of people — the romantics and the classics. The romantics are allured by the form, the beauty as it appears on the surface, while the classics concern themselves with the substance behind.

The actress and the beauty-queen are romantics; the neuro-surgeon, the plumber and the accountant are classics. In writers, we have both classics and romantics.

The romantic wife would even pardon her husband having a mistress; but she will never forgive him if he forgets to bring her flowers on her birthday.

We need the classics to run the world. But it is the romantics who make the running worth the while.

You might have heard of the romantic gentleman who was holidaying in a hill resort and wanted to call his driver who was beyond the hearing range. Instead of hollering, the romantic simply took his binoculars and looked at his driver and his car through it. They appeared pretty near. He then instructed them in a mild voice to come to the place where he was.

But he could not hold candle to this middle-aged housewife. She had deposited some valuables in the safety locker facility of a new generation bank at its Chandigarh branch. Allured by its ads on ‘Anywhere Banking’, the lady, when she was touring Delhi, visited the Delhi branch of the bank and asked them to return her valuables that she had deposited in Chandigarh. To the bewildered bank official she blurted out that she was simply “enjoying the advantages of ‘Anywhere Banking’”.

When we were computerising a huge spare parts shop several years ago we chanced to meet a staunch romantic in a salesman. The computer was at that time more of a sci-fi thing than the consumer durable that it is today. When I casually asked him what he wanted the computer to do for him he said: “The computer should receive the customer, make him sit, ask about his requirements, deliver the required spares, print the bill, collect the cash and send him off with a robotic smile.”

Poor soul! If that could happen he would be the first to be sent off with a robotic smile.

Finally there are some classy classics who, while adhering to their classic intelligence can still make the romantics emotional.

A light-hearted romantic type of a woman was married to a classic type. A few years into the marriage the wife asked her husband, “If there is a rare flower on a mountain-cliff and plucking it would mean risking your life, would you do it for me?”

The man like a typical classic deliberated for a while before saying, “I won’t, because that would mean losing my fingers which I need to restore the software programs you usually mess up in our computer, and to wipe your tears when you cry.

“Nor will I risk my legs, for you always leave the house keys behind and I need my legs to run for them. Can’t risk my mouth for I need it to tell amusing anecdotes and jokes when we are forced to stay indoors.

“Can’t lose my eyes either, for your eyesight is becoming weaker and you may need my help to clip your nails and remove those annoying white hairs when you grow old.

“Unless I am sure there is someone who loves you more than I do, I will not risk my life for that damn flower on the damn cliff.”