The Other Side of Valentine!

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

Your writing/promoting Valentine's Day is like Balajee writing about the importance of religion or me writing against beliefs. Sending Valentine's Day message to any woman (not necessarily the woman in wedlock) is okay but sending Valentine's Day message to other men would have a very negative connotation in this part of the world which is still struggling whether the wedding is between a man and woman or not.

Every rice has a name written in it and similarly every man and woman is born to be in wedlock with someone barring a few who believe they are smarter to explore the world unaffected by the skirmish of the married life. However, how good is life without such intense interaction with the spouse that leads to pleasant ending?

This remains me of Gowndamani's response to a patient in a Tamil movie to a patient who wants to live for 100 years. After checking with the patient whether he drinks, smokes, womanizes, gambles, fights with his wife, etc and finding that answers were negative, he asks, "Why the hell you want to live for 100 years?"

The friend who couldn't hold the glass of drink might appear stupid but the friend who considers himself lucky doesn't know what he missed as part of the married life. The angry wife would generally have million good qualities that never gets highlighted by men. Men are experts in focusing their attention to the painful and exceptional experiences in life and women are very good in enjoying the best part of life leaving behind the painful and exceptional experiences in life alone.

Mostly, you would see women defending their respective husbands when someone were to bring their bad qualities for discussion. Scolding, holding the shirt of the husband, badgering, etc. are prerogatives of married women in a closed room and not in the presence of others.

I have carefully studied this forum for years now. Even in relationship forum where women report the sufferings encountered from the husband mostly certify him as a good man and only occasionally he experiences bout of bad temper. Even when a question was raised whether they would marry the same person again, invariably everyone said "Yes". I have no reason to consider this as internet etiquette and it felt like it was directly coming from their hearts.

In my view, whether western or eastern, that special quality should be admired everyday as Valentine's day.

Viswa

 

Cheeniya Sir, Hope everything is fine with you. You are reading a Valentine Story and now writing a snippet on Valentine. :rotfl

In my college days, Valentine day was big with white, yellow and red roses being exchanged. I was very shy and I used to skip college on that day. After marriage, we do celebrate valentine day by giving each other a card or sometimes I receive flowers or gifts or sometimes we go out for dinner.

In US, right from Kindergarten, kids are told to bring valentine cards for everyone and the tradition continues every year. I find moms searching for a packet of valentine cards in the stores for their children. It is more of a business trick than real love.

The card industry, candy industry, diamond industry, lingerie industry all target this day and create pressure on the consumers. See's candy, one of the candy chain stores comes out with special candies for this day and of course the price is special too.

But here in western world, the day is seen as natural and pure. In India, the media and the right wingers have created unnecessary drama around this day. They see a violation of Indian culture in arms length exchange of a rose or a card but see an enhancement of culture in boys and girls applying holi colors and colliding with each other in dandiya raas. Some things just baffles me.

BTW, Happy Valentine's day to you Sir.

 

My dear Anna

I was waiting to read your new post and I was seeing everyday whether you
have posted. But this I did not notice on the day you posted but saw the tittle on the side bar but did not think it is your post. Yesterday only noticed when I clicked on the post at the side bar.

Now a days there are more love marriages but dont know whether it will continue till the end. In our case it is love after marriage. My husband does not believe in giving gifts. He will say I have given myself to you what else do you need. In the early years of our marriage I did not know him much , with all the differences I used to miss him. I learnt from him that by giving gifts we cant say we love each other but by being there always when we need, helping each other , caring each other , correcting our faults . He was very short tempered earlier and many times used to get angry and when I used to tell him why you are getting angry in front of everyone , he used to say when I am angry only I can show the anger not later. He was there during my deliveries, during my hip bone fracture , he took care of me like a mother. What else do I need.

After sixty and after the children are settled the couple come closer. We are also enjoying our retired life going everywhere together. On Tuesdays and SAturdays we go to temple together, if one person is missing friends ask where is he or she. So now we are celebrating Valentine's day everyday.

 

Dear sir,

I have learnt one thing. I do not know about the Indian world but the Western world needs more festivals. Yes sir, that is my conclusion. All I do is get ready for that party and this party and yes, this weekend Valentine party - for kids. Both mine at school and for kids at my school. And you know what, the kids are required to give a valentine for each one of their friends. So my DD has to make 24 valentines!!! Well the girl that she is, she has decided to make one for herself too. When one is making 24 and showing love, why not one for herself too? And sir, I am wondering about one another issue in my classroom. A room full of boys and literally one girl in my room. Now, here she receives valentines from all the boys and gives one to each one of them. She is a naughty little one and I can already see her going "wink, wink you are the most special one" telling that to every little boy and making their day and I can see her sitting down with all valentines and going "Umm, you boys! let me see which Valentine I like the best!" making them all antsy as well. Add to everything else, this girl in my class also has only brothers at home and is the most rowdy kid in my room!! WTG is all I think of when I watch her with a big grin in my head!

You seem to be a lucky man getting Valentine day's wishes from your peers. All I see is a "Happy Valentine's day"......pasted everywhere reminding me of what everyone else is doing and what I should do, just like the Old St.Valentine did! I take it very seriously. And no I don't send wishes to 'anyone else' at all :biggrin2: And with social media making it so easy, what commercialization sir? Seems like just reminders and we can all revert back to the old days. What say?

 

Thank you very much my dear Anna for appreciating my fb and saying it is one of the best fb. You know how happy I feel when someone appreciates me and getting appreciation from you is like getting an award. What more do I need. I believe in simple pleasure of life. In old age only I understand what is companionship and what is necessary for a happy married life though from the time of getting married till today I have been obedient to my husband and never a day passed without talking to him. Thanks to God for blessing me with a gem of husband.

Thanks for making me feel in cloud 9.

 

Dear Cheeniya,

Though I scuttled like the Mad Hatter to arrive after realizing how late I've been, with all these gifts, cards, and chocolates, I could only wobble and trundle to knock over the fence of 'senile ramblings'. Why such an array of goodies? Valentine's! Love in the air! Romance in the air! Intoxication in the fog! No, that is not pollution, those are love clouds drifting in the city. Such a grand day!

Back in college when I heard about platonic "Valentine's" the first time, I was impassive. There was no such hoopla when I was in school or imagine the plight of the cleaners who had to scrub the walls of amorous scratchings that this Little Elfie would have etched in her frenzy. So, in college I was curious why Valentine's was celebrated among friends with no far-fetched romantic inclinations. Not to be a stick in the mud, I reveled by belting out solidarity vows, promises of eternal nightcaps with friends, while mangling those bespoke cards and repurposing to affirm "yeh dosti" never questioning what-the-heck is this foisted date on young minds? Few years into it, I enjoyed immensely because that annual ritual gave people like me an excuse to say wow! another happy day in our year-round euphoria.

Our Chaucer only disinterred and turned this pagan, faux-christian commemoration as pink-lettered date with his glossy makeover but our Bard peacocked Valentine's as ceremonial with some Venetian custom of single women spying at their windows on Valentine’s Day, believing that the first man they saw would be their true love which our beloved Yash Chopra narrated closer to home by dramatizing meet-up of lovebirds at strike of midnight on VD in "Dil To Pagal Hai". You think we will fall for such sentimental goop (denying that I was watching the smarty long shanks in queue from the corner of the eye). Moreover, upholding of secular observances amongst non-religious has elevated Vals Day in certain segments of the society who shun piety and rites because Vals is a modern, new-age theme inspite of its misbegotten beginnings.

Overall I like the sentiment underscored in Vals because it facilitates unobtrusive raison d'être to soup-up one's expression of love to one's partner, friends and family.

Yours,
Same side of the Valentine