The Green Eyed Monster

"Raji's children are so well behaved. I wish mine would be obedient, so I'd look like a better parent."
"Shalini, has got a new house. I wish I could be her!"
"Jean got the promotion at work when I deserved it!"

These are some of the things that we usually hear around us. what is common in the three situations. It all looks very simple all the top, but think again, these simple little thoughts sound more like jealousy??

According to the dictionary,jealous means "resentful or envious, of someone's success , achievements, etc.." ..well shakespere said it was a green eyed monster.
( O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock,The meat it feeds on; that cuckold lives in bliss - In Othello)

The root cause for all this jealousy, is the feeling of a sense of something, that is not secure in thier life. Take the first case, she is uncertain about her parenting, In the third case, it stems from the feeling that others are preferred and are rewarded better.

The feeling is like a red cloth in front of a matador, telling you, there is some is a something lacking that you would like to have in your life be in love, a coveted job, success.

The first step towards overcoming the feeling would be to relax and understand what the feeling is telling you , accept the feeling instead of hiding it or ignoring it and learn to tackle it.

Stop comparing with others. When you compare, you are allowing your mind to establish that you are lacking, where some has what you lack.

When you start thinking too much on the lacking, it raises more negative emotions, intensifying the jealousy into something more stronger, and make you do something vicious like lashing out, hurting. That is when jealousy becomes envy. There is a thin line between the two, though they are synonmyns of each other.

Take the positive thought that there are other things that good about you. that there are better opportunities waiting. and a contentment thinking.this could help in erasing the feeling of jealousy.

Are you jealous of someone? Instead of acting maliciously and turning it into envy. you could become friends with them. learn to accept and express your appreciation of their achievement. This way you learn the ropes from them.

If you are aware that there is a person who is jealous of you and giving you a cold shoulder, try to understand, their behaviour is not because they actually dislike you, it is because they are jealous that they are not like you. By their actions, they could cut you down to thier level. but with a little compassion, and patience, we could change the cards on the table.

I remember reading a story, in a series about Vikramaditya. there was this King of Avanthi, who after hearing about the justice, good rule of Vikramaditya felt so jealous of him, that he wanted to excel and become better than Vikramaditya. One day a sage visits, Avanthi, the King putsforth his wish and asks him how he can achieve it. the sage gives me idea that there is a Kali temple in the hills, please visit there and do pooja everyday and at the end, sacrifice yourself in the pyre. And the gods of the yagna will save you. and you can pray to Kali in the same way until she comes and gives you a boon. The king did the same, and Kali was very happy and appeared in front of him asking him what he wanted. The king says "I want crores of money,everyday". In reply kali says " if you give me your body as ahuti (sacrifice to the pyre) you will get it."

Thus the avanti king did the pooja everyday, and distributed the wealth everyday. slowly his fame started spreading to all corners. Vikramaditya also came to know about this.Vikramaditya goes to the same hills and does the same penance, and kali appears and grants a boon...Vikramaditya asks .."Please give the king the money,without the sacrifice that he does everyday" thus hearing the selfless request Kali granted it and also blessed him. And King of Avanti understood the greatness of Vikramaditya.

This shows how, inspite of knowing that king of Avanti was jealous, Vikramaditya helped him.:bowdown

Have you overcome the feeling of jealousy..have you ever felt jealous... how do you react to jealousy...??:coffee.

 

I had to write this blog, as I have been seeing this happening around me all the time.

I never feel jealous. Veda always tells the kids that never feel jealous of anyone. accept the reason. and learn to start achieving that goal.

yes self-analysis, self betterment will erase jealousy.a little competitive jealousy is fine.

Jealousy when it takes shades of possessiveness and doubts, it hurts a very good relationship.

Thanks for your valuable.

 

I don't remember in whose biography, I had read the same lines, try to compare with yourself and better your performance.

I too loved SS lines. and I strongly believe, God gives what I deserve than what I desire, as he knows what is good for me and what is right for me.

Widening the horizons and looking at new ways of improving self, keeps J away.

I am scared of envy, that becomes malicious, that they start with dirty rumours to hurting the other person..

Thanks for stepping in dear....

 

Recently, my daughter got a gold medal for school topping in science olympiad, her class teacher expressed directly I wished x (x is the daughter of her friend) got the medal instead of you. DD was very upset at the attitude of the teacher.

It shows the immaturity and jealousy of the teacher. though teachers have to rise above it...

 

Thanks for stepping in.

Yes comparison, as long as it is positive and does not harm the person who is being compared. Sometimes, as a parent comparison ebbs out of our own expectations??

The ad really takes the honors of suiting the title. what about the paints ad, where the neighbour goes on snubbing by showing of and ultimately the lady has to do something..well in real life, it is irritating to be in the company of a showoff.

 

thanks for dropping in. I have come across people like your cousin. maybe your cousin's mom wanted a daughter like you...(a positive honor to you)

And what a sound point of view from your dad:bowdown. I think after that you yourself would have helped your cousin.

Yes jealousy is a disease, that needs to be cured or it could turn to envy. remember reading " The envious die not once, but as often as the envied win applause".