1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

THE FROSTED HEART - My First Short Story

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by SharmilaBanu, Dec 30, 2011.

  1. SharmilaBanu

    SharmilaBanu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    58
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,

    I am posting my first short story, written some time back for OFFICE forum and thought will publish too.

    Share your comments - Bricks and Bouquets are welcome!!!
     
    Loading...

  2. SharmilaBanu

    SharmilaBanu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    58
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    “All characters in this story are imaginary and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is just a pure co-incidence”

    I boarded the train from Chengelpet on a fine Thursday evening to enjoy the long weekend at home and got seated in the middle of the three seater. Mine was lower berth and It would take another 2 hrs for everyone to get back to their berth to sleep. I just had a glimpse of my co-passengers. There were 6 other people– one was a family with father , mother and their daughter in her late twenties , 2 other gentle men and one lady whom I presumed as a software professional by seeing her multi-tasking capabilities. She was hooked on to a novel in one hand and having earphones of her ipod and her phone in both the ears.

    I like travelling and normally enjoy the nature and get to know the people .Today was one such occasion, where I get to know more on myself. I could comprehend from their conversations that the family trip was for their relative’s house warming ceremony. She answered her mobile phone, which I assumed was from her kid.
    “hey dear, did u come home ?is your dad @ home ? I “
    “Oh!!! Ur dad is late? is patti* with you ?”
    “ok … don’t cry. Do Have your tiffin ready @ the table .. and Sleep near patti . ok ? “
    “OK. I will be back by Saturday Morning.”
    dear, I cant come now ma.. u like thatha* rite? He is not feeling well and mummy has to take care of thatha* in train …”

    “ok da .. Good night chellam*” and idled her phone.

    Her dad asked “ you should have been @ home ma” and she answered “No pa.. He Is 4 years now and can be with his father. I Couldn’t take him with us due to these exams. More than that I can’t leave you both travelling for a long distance pa”
    “hmm.. im just worried”
    “don’t worry . pa, its been months you visited our home . u even dint come for harsha’s bday this year”
    “what to do da. Daddy’s business is occupying much of the time. Your mom and bro’ visited your home na”
    “Papa , of late u look too thin and tired. I hope you can retire and be at home”. She turned to her mom and told “ma. Y don’t you tell him”
    “Is it as though he hears me “ her mom started ranting and he immediately asked her to calm down saying “Don’t fret. I am ok.”

    It was around 8 pm and everyone started having their dinner. I opened up my bag to take up the silver paper wrapped naan and channa masala. I could see her mom took the hot idly’s from the pack and started serving them. During my child hood days I have hated homemade food during travel as that’s the only days we get to taste hotel foods. But now, I feel envious of them and was longing to have such foods along with the family during travel.
    Suddenly her father had started gasping and couldn’t eat any longer. Both of them started panicking and his daughter gave him water and gave gentle tap @ his back. He became normal and his daughter started saying “Papa . this is the reason y I don’t let you both travel alone. You are not taking care of your health. See, u had made panic in a second.” Telling this, she couldn’t eat anymore and I could see her eyes wet. We all were done with our dinner and her daughter was requesting me, if I could take the middle berth as her father is not feeling well. I was happy to give them, for two reasons – I love sleeping in middle berth and of course, for her love for her father. My mind immersed in its own thoughts, while I lay down on my berth.
    I could sense the affection between the father and the daughter duo and was wondering how would it be to feel, just because I don’t share any such with my father. My father is not bad either and we had a good relationship till school days. I had seen him trying hard to keep ends meet and make me & my siblings have good education . He had helped me to enroll in university which I preferred though it meant staying away for 4 years., against all our family members wishes. He was the first one to be happy when I got selected thro’ campus. I wanted to marry my best friend at college and our battle started right there. We had fight and I thought he is the only father on earth who never listens to their kid. I thought I was the only one whom the basic right of determining the life partner is denied. But somehow, I saw our relationship is not getting any good and gaps grew. He was obstinate, so am I. After years, when he had tried this multiple times before, I had intentionally ignored it and created a great fuss about this. Its been years we both talked directly. I thought that was the best way to reprove him. I had never said a good bye when I leave my parents place neither did when I left to live in Mumbai. Absolutely there were no calls and when he takes up, I would stop with a word “amma” and he gives up the phone to my mom saying nothing. I haven’t heard any of my mom’s advice and now, we both live in the world of silence, when we are together. Life has taught me many and I got matured enough to understand the best he has given me and his care he showed as a father. I had got a wonderful husband, a beautiful son but still I couldn’t say mine as a complete family without my father. I felt how he should have been hurt when I ignored him. Many a times, I have thought to kick off the conversation normally, but my alter ego has never been able to allow me the same. I have felt the pain in me several times when I see him face to face but still couldn’t talk as words don’t come out so easily. .Whenever I get to see this warmth, I feel guilty of not doing the duty of a daughter. Now, the affection between this duo has kindled my emotions. I felt I lost many in these five years and my heart was aching. I thought I couldn’t hold it any longer
    When I got down to reach my place, the then frosted heart of mine had started melting down. I took vow to pay back the love !!!


    Note:
    *patti - Grandma
    *chellam – sweet heart
     
    13 people like this.
  3. haagesummane

    haagesummane Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    361
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Heart touching story sharmila ji..
     
  4. SharmilaBanu

    SharmilaBanu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    58
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for the first fb!!!!
     
  5. lovelyme

    lovelyme Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    388
    Likes Received:
    244
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Awesome story dear. You have done a great job. Welcome to the world of writers. expecting more from you. Thanks for this wonderful piece.
     
  6. BhoomikaDhare

    BhoomikaDhare Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    136
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Very touching story...Sometimes we forget the pain our parents have taken for us. We take them for granted. When we move far we understand the essential of love and affection.

    Keep writing :)
     
    2 people like this.
  7. SharmilaBanu

    SharmilaBanu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    58
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Entirely true Bhoomika - we take many relationships for granted... thanks for reading
     
  8. SharmilaBanu

    SharmilaBanu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    58
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    thanks for reading and your encouraging words..
     
  9. sapthu02

    sapthu02 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    948
    Likes Received:
    529
    Trophy Points:
    190
    Gender:
    Female
    that was a beautiful story indeed..
     
  10. Special

    Special Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    776
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Very nice and touching story...
     

Share This Page