I am honestly confused as much as I am flabbergasted with extreme sadness about the fate of these recent crushes of mine. I don't remember having serious crushes on real life friends or colleagues who are with me, rather I develop such crushes on some talents whom I see in the media. No, I don't mean the madness I have on movie stars or sports celebrities as my crush here. Its there on the other side!!! But the crush I mean here, comes on the people who are good at their speech, music, sports or whatever, yet not a celebrity level to attract everyone. I somewhat liked them, and started to follow them seriously due to this crush I developed on them (obviously for their talent or the way they present their talents), and I would go on and on to read about them, their history, news etc... while watching them in you tube excessively. And this makes me extremely happy and occupied; hence I call them my crushes. Obviously one man at a time, and often one attractive man! Let me start from my recent crush.... This man Balabhaskar, a Kerala based violinist, whom I know through his you tube videos only very recently. More than his violin, the way he presented himself on stage with a contagious smile on his face attracted me so much. He was so lively, and so simple with so much talent on his chosen field. So, he seemed so unique, even though I've subscribed to many other musicians on You tube channels. Its been just a few months, since I knew this artist, and only in September, I've started reaching out to him to express how much I like his music and himself. Since past few months, I wake up to this man's violin sound, as he had the power to blossom your day in such a magical way. I've started reading about his life style, family, music, interviews etc to get myself familiarized with him, and here comes the worst nightmare in the form of his death at the age of 40. It completely shattered me. And just realized today, that the death of an artist whom you personally don't know, can haunt you so much that you absolutely do nothing other than just revisiting his works This is not the first time this happened with me. Last year, almost around the same time too, I had to face such a tragedy in life. It was Nabeel Qureshi, an American national with a Pakistani background. He was a great spiritual speaker, and I found so much solace in each and every videos he uploaded about religion and God. He helped me to find answers to so many questions I had in life through his Vlogs. Within a few month of my craze on him, I found out that he was battling stomach cancer and in his last stage of life then. He was very young, and was only 34 when he died last year. I could learn more about him after his death only. But I could never forget the comfort and happiness he gave me when he was alive. A few years back, I was very much attracted to an American Indian Dr Paul Kalanidhi, about his works on ortho surgeries. In fact, that's when my mom had to undergo such surgeries, so I did a lot of research on the net to find out more on this. I found this Dr more interesting, and went on to search more and more of him and his works, which became like a craze in the following days. So, slowly instead of reading his medical related articles, I've started reading about his personal life, love marriage and the life style he chose to live etc, and that were my main time pass that time. Ooops.... The fate was too cruel that he died, and his sickness and death news eventually made me in tears the latter days. He died at the age of 37 it seems. Now that I am scared to even feel attracted or have craze on anyone, as it seems God hand picks and shows me the best people on earth, so that I could cherish some good memories with them, before they are taken forever. May these souls RIP in heaven forever.