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The Burden Of Perfection

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, Jun 12, 2019.

  1. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    THE BURDEN OF PERFECTION

    The other day I heard someone say that he feels uncomfortable in the company of idiots. This reminded me of William Hazlitt telling his son that if there were no foolish people around who would care for the wise ones. He also said philosophically speaking, foolish people need our empathy rather than ridicule. This particular person, to me, seemed to be one who can never go wrong as he thinks he is perfection personified.

    Perfectionists are by nature tend to go into minute details before taking a decision. They take a deep breath before they speak. They do not trust people on their face value. We find them in offices and at home. They are feared and admired with equal measure. It is not that their decisions do not go wrong but they do not hesitate to own them. People, in general, try to be perfect in whatever they do. Nobody wants to fail or falter. Some of our greats, about whose private life we know little or nothing are the embodiment of perfection in public life. There are many such personalities in the field of art, science, literature, performing arts, music and even families. They are hardworking, balanced and cautious. They spend a whole lot of time in meeting the exacting standards of perfection they have set for themselves. They may not show it but they inwardly enjoy the appreciation and rewards that come with perfection.

    Perfection must be a huge burden. There can be no improvement on perfection as there is nothing beyond it. The burden of not doing wrong must be keeping them on their toes all the time. They cannot go wrong is burden enough. The pressure must be killing. Failure may be scaring them. The race to perfection may make them recluse as they may not comfortable in the company of lesser mortals. There is no wonder that some of them are not in a position to carry the burden and scum to drugs and alcohol. Not able to hold the failure on other fronts, mainly family and relationships, they may get depressed and commit suicide.

    But then the world would be worthless without these perfectionists. They have created many benchmarks we can be proud of. They have contributed to the field of science, medicine, art, culture, religion, yoga and many other areas making life worth living. It is rather an irony that many of them could not carry the burden of perfection, the latest being Robins William, the actor, who committed suicide.

    And there are other types of Perfectionists who can never wrong. They are the one who are put on high pedestal by their ‘spoonos’ (a word coined by Salman Rushdie for sycophants). The Wah from the mouth of the spoonos comes before their idol opens his mouth. They are found in every field-literature, films, politics, social media and so on. The problem arises when some or one of these spoonos utter ‘what?’ instead of ‘wah!’. That spoono is asked to either withdraw the word or withdraw from the sight. It happened in case of Salman Khan, the popular Hindi Movie actor. It is common knowledge in Bollywood that no one can survive there without being a spoono of Salman Khan. I am sure it is ahuge burden on the shoulders of Salman Khan to carry favor with so many spoonos. For the spoonos it is easy, just keep on blowing wah, wah!!!!
     
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  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    It seems there are no takers for Burden of Perfection.
     
  3. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    How about recasting it as "The Joy/Thrill/happiness/wonder/etc.. of Perfection" ? Sometimes people are put off by negative seeming titles of threads, and never click-in and see what the contents are about. After all, we are in a world of competition for attention, and must pay attention to that. Go on and try that. Move to Chat-subforum is also another option.

    On the bright side, "no takers" is not as bad as respondents coming in and oozing the generic sort of appreciation at you. And you fall for it without being suspicious that they could be pulling your leg.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Hari Sir,

    World without improvements will cease to exist. Change is inevitable. Perfection is related to certain conditions and environment and those conditions change, the so called perfection needs to change as well. President Bill Clinton could do nothing wrong until he was caught by Lewinski scandal. Rajaji led a perfect life until he brought the system of teaching the labor based on caste. Ravana was a perfectionist until he got the boon that he couldn't be killed by anyone except by a human being. Hitler was a perfectionist in aligning the entire Germany behind him until he decided to expand territory. The one who accepts his failure learns from it and becomes a better human being. The one who believes he is a perfectionist, can't see his flaws.
     
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  5. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Hariji,
    Of course aiming to be perfect in all aspects is a very highly commendable trait....many great have achieved by it. Some in some things and some in some other.
    Leave out great achievements....in day to day life some want perfectionism in every aspect. That is a burden to them and people living with him/her....that is for sure. Difficult to live with them .we call it obsessive compulsive disorder but they say that everything should be perfect!!!!
    Syamala
     
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  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    When a newbie and browsing without a peep/whimper... i felt that most threads can migrate to a complaint about a MIL in just a few links. Sort of like that 6-degrees of freedom ( or the Kevin Bacon parlour game) principle.... that posits that any thread can be taken to a complaint about MIL in six or less connections.

    Perhaps therein lie a lesson for Hariji: Make your posts easily stretchable to a MIL. And you'd get "takers" in the first hour after the thread's OP is posted.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
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  7. jayasala42

    jayasala42 Finest Post Winner

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    As Shri Viswa says perfection is a relative term.As the goal gets enhanced ,the definition of perfection also will change.But for every human being there is a stage upto which he can go up, in a particular moment.That is the stage of perfection for that individual at the particular moment.Aiming at too much perfection leads to obsession.But this is too often quoted by non achievers.
    It is better to have some aim noted as 'perfection' at every level in every field so that one can try to be in the ladder of improvement steadily.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  8. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    (Either way will feel important!!!)
     
  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    True. As I said world would be worthless without these perfectionists. The parameters of perfection do change with time and conditions but the overall goal remains the same- not just above but much, much, above the
    common lot. Ravana was a mythological character and his own vanity of excepting human being was responsible for his end. Or may be the writer wanted it that way. Hitler, Rajaji and Clinton are real historical characters we know about. Clinton knew his weakness and it became public only when Lewinski told about it, otherwise it would have remained a secret. There might have many other cases which did not come in light. Anyways he was a politician and politicians are known for perfection. Rajaji was an intellectual and as you said erred on that or many other parts.
    Hitler was an autocrat and all autocrats are surrounded by sycophants and get blinded.
    There is view that Jews teach their children to excel in their chosen field and that possibly is the reason some of them are at the top of the economic ladder. But in the process, they must have gone through a very tough time in their childhood.
    Similarly parents put tremendous pressure on their children for higher standards of education. Some of these kids take to suicides.
     
  10. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    This is the sum total of my blog. It may be difficult to live with them but I think it is more difficult for them to live with themselves. But they do succeed and the world is grateful for their achievements also. In a way it is good that they are in minority and vast majority takes life as it comes.
     

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