The Art Of Lying

THE ART OF LYING


We all tell lies.These are normally inoffensive lies.Let us take a few examples.

If we don’t want to answer a call, ask the child to say Appa is not available and he has forgotten to take his cell phone when he went out. Alternatively we say later that we did not hear the ring due to tower problem.

We have an appointment but we start late but give an excuse of traffic jam.To add power to this explanation we ask for a glass of water and drown it.If we don’t want to keep an appointment,call the other person in the last minute and say you are unwell.To prevent free advice flowing in, you say that you are suffering from hay fever and for effect cough a couple of times The other person promptly says” take care” not figuring out what hay fever is about.I have come across chaps who tell a sad story to borrow money and follow it up with a tearful story for not repaying it. Lies or you may call exaggeration are bandied about,on marriage expenses,interior jobs in the newly costructed house,designations and salaries of children etc.I am a social drinker-need not be taken seriously in many cases.One chap advertised in matrimonial site that he was an eggtarian.When after the marriage he was questioned while taking chicken,his calm raply was the chicken came from the egg only.Those days grand parents demise came in handy while applying for leave.Some of you may recall the hilarious scene in the tamil film Mannan depicting Rajinikanth and Goundamari getting caught when they take leave on the pretext of grandmas death to go to the first show of a film.In western countries,during Chritsmas, children are made to believe that Santa Claus comes through the chimney bearing gifts.This is a massive lie at the international level,but Santa Claus with his rotund frame brings joy to the children and adults in equal measure.Now and then lies are told to have fun particularly between couples and also accepted on April 1.

My first serious attempt at lying was when I was in the eighth standard.It was a Saturday and I was preparing for the final exam. Around 4.30 pm I told my parents that our teacher had arranged for a special class for select students for three hours.I left the house and rushed to watch the football match between two famous teams.Sometime during the match a familiar hand touched my shoulder and I was petrified to see my father.I mentally examined which part of the anatomy I should expose for thrashing.After the match was over, my father instead of scolding me patted me and said that he would have taken me for the match if I had spoken the truth.That taught me a lesson, not to be scared of telling the truth.

When I was RM Marketing in a company in Hyderabad I could not get enough supplies to meet the demand.My standard reply to the customers to buy time was that the product was shipped and was on its way .An exasperated customer told me in Telegu “abadhalu cheppidhe aada pillale”means that if you tell lies you will get only girls[not boys].Incidentally I did not worry at this comment as I already had two daughters.

There is a tamil proverb which says tell one thousand lies and conduct a marriage.Appearance, house keeping skills on the part of the girl and looks,position ,salary habits etc on the part of the boy were exaggerated for finalising a marriage proposal.Now girls are smart and they can see through the game even though cases are plenty where girls have been taken for a ride and quite a few lost their money.It is all Chemistry my dear Watson.

Recently I have handled a case in which the boy[husband] was found to be a pathological liar cheating on the girl,morally,emotionally and financially.He had cultivated the habit of lying as a fine art.The girl is highly qualified,intelligent,employed in an MNC and earning well. She was carried away by his suave manners,courtesy to her parents,absence of pretensions as a son in law,consideration for her comforts etc had blinded her to the extent of parting with substantial amounts resulting in her subsequent default on repayments.After giving him a long rope she confided her problem to me.Information gathered through a private detective and a thorough check in places he had lived revealed a sorry state of affairs. His lies included nonexistent job,girlfriend masquerading as Rakhee sister,paying for official journey and claiming reimbursement later,lending money to his affluent sister for an unforeseen exigency,pledging the girls jewellery and claiming that they were in safe sustody in a bank locker etc.The case has now gone for divorce by mutual consent after collecting the money she had lent to him.The money spent on marriage amounting to Rs.fifteen lakhs has gone down the drain as we cannot recover a share of the expenses incurred on conducting the marriage as per Supreme court ruling.In any case the case would have dragged on for years as he has no money and we were anxious to put it behind us and allow the girl to start her life afresh.The surprise is that he is from a good middle class family ,with the members unaware of his Dr.Jekkyl and Hyde personality.Our suspicion is that the mother was privy to some of his misdeeds and depended on marriage as a correctional mechanism.

There are algebraic liars who believe that two lies make a positive. There are also liers classified as permissible,indulging as a pastime,professional or passionate. This boy was a passionate lier and followed the fine art of not leaving a trail. The lesson therefore is that inspite of the tamil proverb it is necessary to seek professional help in doing a discreet background check before finalising a marriage.

The most pitiable situation is when parents tell a lie to cover up the misdeeds of their children and help them escape punishment.This is called Dhritarashtra syndrome-artificial blindness not wanting to see what is uncomfortable to see.Lying at best can bring about only a temporary solution to problems.

Currently the exchange of lier barbs between top politicians in the country is sickening.I do not know what type of message we are sending to the international community.Ironically the emblem of the Indian Government carries the message-SATYAMEVE JAYATE.Churchills misinformation to deceive the enemy during world war two was glorified as “terminological inexatitudes” spread in national interest.Perhaps this is an inspiration for Indians.

 

Thanks.There is enough coming on the conveyor belt to provide fodder gossip in the days to come.SLN

 

Some secondary action is required to add strength to the .That is what your friend seems to be doing.In many cases I have seen that liers have sterling qualities that you are inclined to forgive and continue to accept their company.

 

Thanks for the well researched FB.One gets a well rounded personality only when he tells a lie as demanded by the situation.However not hurting an individual by distorting facts should be a prime factor in classifying the lie.
SLN