"the Art Of Giving" Ramblings

Dear Sunpa,
How we share is equally important.... Absolutely. The taker also has dignity.
We share or give because it makes us feel good.
In Ramakrishna math, Hyderabad there is Balanarayana seva , a breakfast programme for school going children.We contribute for it on my kids' birthdays. But we never go there... We can, if we want. The children should not feel that we are the givers and they are the takers. As regular practice one of the Brahmacharis serve.
Syamala

 

@SunPa,

You have shared a beautiful thought and very rightly you have differentiated between GIVE and DO. There are many ways of relating to our experiences; we may choose to wallow in self pity forever and be bitter, we may choose to look at our lives' positivity with gratefulness, we may choose to help others and brighten their path or turn arrogant about our fortunes and achievements. When the first option or turning arrogant are chosen, forever we refuse to let go and grow as human beings. While choosing the other options allows us to grow and discover the higher power. Yes, what the right hand does, the left shouldn't know.

 

Bhagavad-Gita too said"kya lekar aaye the jo isse apna kahte ho aur kya lekar jaoge jo samet rahe ho" The things kept beside us does not belong to us. So we are not giving we are just passing it on.

 

Nice post @SunPa.
I agree with your sentiments.
As for providing orphanages with a good meal, prefer to do it on a holiday, such as Diwali or Independence day or such, not on my kid’s bday. Would hate to make a kid sad that that some kid’s bday is so different than theirs.
Education and healthcare are two things I would love to help with. As for giving, I don’t mind giving to a known person than an unknown person.. meaning it’s easier to reach out and help my maid who is struggling and some less well off distant relatives than a stranger.. would want to make sure that my contributions are effectively utilized not wasted in an organization’s business expenditures.

 

@SunPa

The difference in doing and giving.. the thin line.. where i come from in my life, i am blessed to be able to do it..

I think of the whole schema as giving back and pay it forward..
yes my kids do contribute from their pocket money.. they have stopped celebrating their birthday in a anyd way and the unwritten rule is we double the amount they have saved when we share the blessings with underprivileged.

Anything i earn goes towards education for someone who cant help himself..so i make it a point to earn the amount needed for the year..i feel god has made me the catalyst to help someone who needs it.

Oh, there are people who are shouting from roof tops about their contributions to flood victims and there are some who are silently doing it..

And i never share the details of what is given to whom even with close ones unless it is a loan.. i believe that the left hand does not need to know what the right gives...and never trample anyone's self respect is something i follow..
One of the reasons i dont take reciepts for tax exemptions..nullifies the purpose of doing..
Do what we can today, don't postpone it for another day..kal kisne dekha..
And i would be foolish if i think i am doing it.. the need in the other and the ability to do, the willingness to do are all beyond my everyday comprehension. Time and tide change in the blink of a eye..

So being humane is a everyday evolving process
TN girl donates Rs 9,000 saved for over 4 years for new cycle to Kerala, gets unexpected reward

 

Good one @SunPa

The tenet which my husband and I follow is "God has chosen me to be the one to do this job and it is my privilege" - it does not matter whether it helping financially, or offering a shoulder to cry on, or just doing a job assigned to you at work.

Do it happily and look upon it as a privilege.

 

@SunPa,

What a wonderfully written thread this is! You are absolutely right. My Guru taught me a lot on this subject. I learned a lot of compassion from my spouse as well in real life.

1 - Selflessness - The selflessness is important i.e. to share without any superior feeling or grudge.

2 - Equality - Share only what we would like to have - To the extent possible, what we won't use it in person should never be shared.

3 - Individual respect - The person with whom we share should be treated with respect - In simple terms, his hands must be on top and sharing hands should be at the bottom

4 - Name/Fame/Publicity - This should be strictly avoided - Even if sharing the actions might trigger others to do, it has to be done discreetly with a lot of humility without any assigned values

5 - Attitude - Sharing should not be considered as a favor to someone else and the attitude should be the opportunity to share is a blessing.

These are my initial thoughts.

Viswa

 

@SunPa

There was a thread here by a keralite asking for sanitary napkin which is a reminder guideline for the one who can do.. i hope they got it..nature cycles don't stop..

Thevai arinji pannu..beijg aware of what the other needs..

It was a eyeopener during chennai floods when dd and her friends were volunteering and few ladies came up tothem asking for panties and pads....that wei wiped off sanitary napkins off the racks of supermarkets and medical shops is a story for another time.. there have been ilites here who blindly believed me and asked me to help on thier behalf too..

Never ever tell the person, you did a favour or were blessed go share with..there is nothing worser than this..they did not ask, you shared because you could .

Giving or doing should be sans expectations..you do because you can..