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The Art Of Asking Questions

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by SpringB, Jun 12, 2019.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    My DOB is the most difficult question I felt answering to.
    If that is only the day and month, it is fine. But for various reasons, people ask my National ID card or bio page of PP, where my DOB is fully visible (including the year).

    What makes this question so uncomfortable is, their reactions afterwards.
    It is not my fault that they assume my age is somewhere between 25-29.
    I, in no way pretend to be a carefree youth. I conduct myself according to my age, profession as well as my responsibility as a mother.
    But, thanks to my genes, and all the hard-work I put on to maintain rather a young look for sometimes.

    The immediate question after knowing my age is > 35, and I am a mother of 2 young kids is "oh... I thought you were young"... and it makes me feel old. It embarrasses me for God knows why... and demotivates.
    Come on... I still consider myself as young only.

    I will be 40 in a few years, and I don't wanna be considered supper old for that.
     
  2. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Yh, about age I also get irritated..

    Once a distant relative asked me how much is salary? (I was sooper shocked with this Q)
    Me: Some where enough to live..
    Again he repeated the Q (I'm too offended)
    Me: Huh! Till now my dad didn't ask me this Q directly (how can you dare to.. kinda emotion)

    People just lost their minds and itchy to get deserved treatment.
     
  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    But I guess @rachaputi , the problem lies within us. Our failure to accept these things about us make us insecure or inferior.
    In my case, I should accept the fact that I am ageing. I should learn to grow old with grace. I should embrace the years, and grow wisdom.
    But I am afraid inside to become old. Somewhere in my mind, I've stopped growing. I still consider myself to be in my late 20s, or just 30 and not more.
    That's when I feel bad to receive questions about my age. Before 30, I was one happy girl to disclose my year of birth or age to anyone, even without questioning. See...

    I think the same with your salary too.
    Basically the low salaried people and the super high salaried people are worried to disclose their details to others. The former due to insecurities, and the latter due to the fear of jealousy etc..
    But the people who have an average or above average salary wouldn't mind giving a rough idea to the askers. It shouldn't hurt or piss anyone off, right?
     
    Needtobestrong and rachaputi like this.
  4. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    @SGBV fiercely truth

    If the question is relatable to topic, no issues to reply. But when ganged up just to offend me, sorry no pity.

    I accept it but doesn't mean you to use to defame me ;)
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2019
  5. Angela123

    Angela123 Silver IL'ite

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    I always wonder about people who ask the questions: How old are you? and what is your salary?

    Why do they need such information?
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Yeah most of time time when people get such info they don't keep as secret, it's becomes shared as common gossip and soon even friends of friends would know each n every detail about you!
     
  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    Salary is what makes me more towards cry than age...
    Because age, they can estimate from my looks and by knowing which year I completed graduation, how many years I worked or how many years married etc..
    But salary I would not like to tell anyone ..I'm not working right now.
    But when I worked, friends would irritate me by asking me how much I earned...
    Initially I was earning very less and couple of years later in spite of salary hike i was still earning average salary only, not as much as industry standard....they were working in good companies and maybe earning around same or possibly more than me...I tactfully avoided sharing salary details with them and nether did I ask them how much they earned..that way I could avoid both insecurity and jealousy.
     

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