Thank you everybody for coming to my aid so readily, esp in such a case of 'same old story again' as mine. I have read every post several times, and because of time constraints just addressing some of the points raised. I am still working on this. Not able yet to refuse to do things totally, because of my fear of total estrangement+financial dependence for every penny. I have only managed to walk away without serving them/leave things as is until they all leave the place. @SunPa That was an excellent suggestion! I regret I don't have the emotional maturity to see it through to fruitition yet... maybe I can slowly try this once I feel bold and strong all by myself. @DDream Thank you DD, you always give me such well rounded advice. I had done my homework when in-laws were not there. We started of this time round in one of the best ways ever. Yet, it eroded, and I don't even know why. Having very little time and him wanting to spend it all with his parents has led to no personal time between us and hence, its attendant miscommunications and non-resolution of issues. I have let him have his time with his parents unencumbered. Even LO is encouraged to play with them. I sense that he feels criticised for his behavior, and there is a lot of defensiveness leading to fights/unpleasantness. My current solution is to minimise time spent with all of them together. We had some open fights too, in front of his parents (he started it, I couldn't just back off). While I don't regret that - he now knows I won't care about their presence if he chooses to fight - I don't want that happening as MIL is waiting for a chance to edge in and have a word. @yellowmango you have the choicest words/examples for me... and how right you are! Exactly! I feel the same way!!!! No need to apologise, I always appreciate your direct way of putting things, and not mincing words. I totally agree with you, and will surely check out the posts you recommended.. Thank you mangaii. I am not trying to normalise it, though I do wonder if it looks different from his perspective. You are right, I do want everyone around me change and treat me with due respect!!!! And simply get agitated when it doesn't happen. I am keeping my distance now ie not bothering (at least outwardly) how they react, doing only what's necessary etc. I do sense a lot of judgement and displeasure at my behavior, but I am keeping it on. @Rihana @Laks09 @mangaii Point taken. Self sufficiency first, JOB. No more hoping and dilly-dallying or half hearted attempts. In general, DL is in the works. Got ead, also got preliminary licensing for working. Looks like I still need a little training coz of the long gap in career, some updating is required. I am currently working on those. So because of that, my time is spent on these and housework, and have no extra time to get a part-time job even.. I am just holding on until I finish this training module. H and in-laws are reluctantly supportive - they don't have an option but to support my endeavors as I made my career situation public among relatives. They have to save face. When I am disrespected, though, I am all but tempted to throw in the towel and leave to India, tell them to deal with it all. The LO keeps me here. After reading all your posts and some more thinking, I feel that what was advised last time will still apply - get detached, focus on your goals, improve your situation (because you want LO). I just wish I had a mental framework to would let me stay here with dignity (even if aloof and by myself) despite the way they treat me - I see even the ignoring and the silences as disrespectful. But I can't find anything that justifies that, and just want to leave. Without LO? Right now, that is the only speed breaker. Edit: Financially, I get some hard cash now and then. I have access to his card, though no card of my own yet. Have told him to open a bank account for me, so I can get my cards myself. He has agreed though its yet a to-do.