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Teenage - The Tug Of War!!

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by sarajara, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. sarajara

    sarajara Gold IL'ite

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    Teenage...

    The very word that brings in a bright smile and ambitious look in the faces of many grownup kids and loads of worries in the faces of parents.

    Teens - they are that class of children who are not accepted as kids and not accepted as adults yet.. :( they are half kids and budding adults who rather would not like much of a guidance... but only support and confidence from parents.


    Parents , i would bet that a 100% of them would want their kids to be under their eyes.. though they seem to give all the freedom.. its very rare to see movie style parents who seem to be very confident of their sons and daughters.


    The teenage children undergo a lot of pressure on every aspect of life. Their dayschedule, places they visit, friends, movies they watch, music they listen to, hairstyle, cosmetics, expenditure, diet, friends list, kind of books they read, favourite column on news paper, everything gets a complete scrutiny from the parents and teachers, and other elders who might possibly give the 'right' opinion or guidance to their parents! I really pity these set of people.

    On to the parents side now. Some of the parents are(seem) casual about their kids, yet have that slight worry residing inside their brains that makes them alert and awake(subconsciously) all the time about their kids.. they wave their kids seeing them off to school, yet worry if they attend the classed regularly or bunk classes.

    I still remember when i asked my mom if i can have an email id as i have turned 18 yrs, she reacted as if she was bitten by a snake! :)) "An email id of your own? why do you need that? who do you think would communicate via email to you? why do you want to step in to the world of unknowns" and many more "why"s came up.. :)

    Mothers are the ones who are openly worried about their kids. Very few dads are worry-free about their kids.. yet.. many of them try to gather information of their children either from their spouse or by themselves..


    Well this is a sticky period for both the sides.. rather than thinking of how to deal.. we should rather think as how we can change the perception from both the sides.


    A lot of responsibility lies with the parents here. They should have the responsibility to trust their kids.. should give them the confidence of handling the world and life themselves, teaching them the right and the wrong.. not stress much on the don't do stuffs and give them the statutory warnings and let them be on their own.

    This would help in creating a friendly relationship between the parent and the child so that, the children come up and openly discuss about anything with their parents. There should not be any censored topic on which the kids cannot talk to parent..

    The word restriction enters the scenario when parents start thinking as how their child should be as an adult. Every person is born unique and would have their own ambitions. Times are changing constantly and there is no constant culture that is held high in the world. Allow your son/daughter to be culturally free as long as you are sure that your he/she can handle himself or herself and would not be in any disaster.


    Every teenager wants his/her parents to 'confide' in him/her. Its the first step a parent can take and it would prove to be the strongest foundation for a healthy parent - offspring relationship.. Stop worrying about their habits, talk to them openly on any thing that might like.. there need not be a strict lesson on attending classes devotedly or no seminars on the kind of movies to be avoided.

    Do not pressurize kids on academics.. I have come across many intelligent girls who have a scored in all colors in the university exams and end up home makers. I do not look down upon home makers but i would rather suggest every one to make use of what they gained from their education.

    The age where dressing up for college and trying out funky outfits are looked down has become passe now.If you find your princess showing more interest in dressing up, help her to look her best and guide her in getting the right outfits for her.

    Start enjoying and celebrating the teenage of your kid and be with them as a friend and be non intrusive in to their personal issues ( they become adults and start having information that they might feel shy to bring it up with you) and you can feel that the bond gets stronger and your son/daughter becomes more closer to you than you have expected..

    so here goes the mantra- "confide" in your young ones and just give them the mental and physical nouriushment that they require at times and let them grow on their own as more greater personalities than you desire them to be.
     
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  2. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    savietha,
    very nice post...i agree to all your points mentioned
     
  3. sarajara

    sarajara Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for Dropping by Sushma!

    Loved your tagline! "Love is irrational, the more you love someone, the less sense anything makes..." :)
     
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  4. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    I agree with you completely. From my experience as a parent of a teenage kid...parents should do more listening and less lecturing!
     
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  5. sarajara

    sarajara Gold IL'ite

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    Very true Sally! :)

    Thanks for dropping by!
     
  6. kasturiradhika

    kasturiradhika Senior IL'ite

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    I too agree with u as a parent of teenage girl
     

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