Swatch Bharat, Dirty Gold Chain

Swatch Bharat, Dirty Gold Chain


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A Theif in Mumbai snatched a gold chain and ran.People caught him, and handed him over to the police.


Thief Who Swallowed Gold Chain Force-Fed 48 Bananas by Police : Culture : Latinos Post



The people saw him swallow the chain. He refused to admit to his crime. They took him to hospital, where an X ray showed the chain in his stomach. Operation was proving to be more expensive than the cost of the chain.


The police men were going bananas trying to figure out how to get the chain out from his tummy, till a policeman like me perhaps, thought of giving him bananas. 48 of them went in his tummy, thru the night, till he finally ejected the chain.


Well done guys. But what I want to know is , who paid for the bananas eh ! The lady who got back her chain, the policemen, or the police department . Sherlock homes will solve this one eh !


Well the police made the thief wash the chain,(cruel that is, human rights where are u ) and hand it over to the lady, who was not too happy with the chain having come out of the potty. She took it to a jeweler, sold it, and got a new one.


Well I have heard that a chain gets cleaned and polished if it goes thryu the stomach, bcs we have acids inside, which clean gold, but does not melt gold. Anyone want to test my formula, try swallowing a chain.



Reminds me of my pomerian dog Naughty. One Diwali eve, my mom, put all fhte old and silver coins in a bowl full of milk, andleft it overnight in the hall, and off we went off to sleep. Iot is considered auspicious.


Well next morning, we found the dog Naughty, had drunk the milk, and spilled the coins all lover the floor.My mom thought he has swallowed a gold coin or two, and she ordered me that when I take him for walks on aleash, to take a stick, and when he ****s, I poke the stick in it, to see if he has taken out a coin. I did that for a week, and it was damn embarrassing really, people were wondering what I was up to.


Wish we had known about the bananas formula.


HAHA



Well todays newspapers had another piece of news. Seems the people for whom the govt built toilets, have dismantled them, and are using the toilet as a storage place.

Not enough takers for the toilet? Over half of toilets built under Swachh Bharat unused - Firstpost



When asked why, they said, we need space to live. And here is what most of them said


Out of the total number of people who were found to be relieving themselves in the open, 47 percent did so because it was pleasurable or convenient, and that defecating in the open gives them a chance to take a morning walk, have a look around their fields, or simply take in the fresh air.


Modi has good plans, but he must think before he wastes public money on these grand schemes.


The people feel nice to be tickled by the grass below the fresh air, and they say they get exercise too, when they go out in the fields to do their job. Did Modi not factor in this.


A toilet needs many things, first space, then tiles and toilet , electricity, pipes and fittings inside , and government pipes outside to carry away the waste. In places like UP, there is no electricity for hours, how suffocating in the toilet and smelly, no water also, so is not the open a good idea and practical.


Ah Mr. Modi, wish u had consulted me first, this country would have saved a lot of money eh !


KAMAL MAHTANI


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But if you don't get the answer, alcohol helps to forget the question.
-----Swami Vijay Mallya



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,Ab usko kon samjhaye k vahi mastaani hai....
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One Gujrati opened a Roadside Pav Bhaji stall and named it

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Dekhiye Next Episode".

 

Dear Balaji,

Ailmentary is a new word , thanks for putting it in my dictionary.HAHA

For poor countries like ours, where there is shortage of electricity and water, and sanitary pipes and space, which all are needed in a toilet, u cannot force them. And toilets need cleaniness, which these chaps wont understand.

And the manure is needed for crops as u rightly say.

Thanks budyy.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear TS,

See these villagers dont know what is hygene. For them doing in the open is hygene, so let them do it in the villages,
when they dont have toilets they cry that our ladies are not safe doing in the open, and when u give them toilets, they break them up. So how can we help these rascals in any way.They deserve what comes their way.

politicians can be diplomatic in theior words, i wont be, i have no votes to get from them, u see.HAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Satchi,

Yes taxes scattered aroudn fields eh ! HAHA.
Gold down the drain , no, bcs he knew there was gold in his ****.HAHA

yes doing in the open, will give free manure too for his fields, as also the gold if any will come out safe.HAHA

Regards

kamal