surrogacy ..what next

blooms · Jun 8, 2015

Hi friends,
I am new here. My problem is really complicated . I have been advised to go for surrogacy as I had severe endometriosis. IVF tried twice , but failed. We found a surrogate mother and everything is fine till now . She is due in jan . My parents and in laws know about this and they are supportive. the problem is now I have to act pregnant in front of others. I dont know how this is going to work out . Myself and my husband are staying in bangalore, I am planning to stay here for another 2 months and then go to my parents.

My DH told I have to act pregnant now itself and tell everyone here that I have some good news. should I tell others now ( including my maid and friends ) here that I am pregnant . I get severe pain during my periods and in the ovulation phase and I am totally exhausted during that time, I usually take leave for a few days at that time. The pain si so severe that I find it very difficult to manage my daily chores and confined to bed most of the time. My maid knows about this monthly pain very well . So how to act pregnant in front of everyone. I discussed with my doctor regarding taking OCPs for a few months to avoid this , but no definite reply .

Am I sounding foolish. I doono . I am really worried . Please advise me friends .

Thanks for your time

yellowmango · Jun 8, 2015

Why do you have to act pregnant?
You are having a baby through surrogacy and your families are okay with it.
Why do you bother about others and go to such lengths to deny it? It is your baby....irrespective of who carries it.

resmij · Jun 8, 2015

Dear,

i dont think you need to act.

its your baby.

Regards,

resmij

saras123 · Jun 10, 2015

Dear blooms

On sairam.
Why act pregnant? It is your baby.
Nowadays many are of aware of surrogacy thanks to media. Nothing to worry.

Instead of getting worried enjoy this period get ready for the new arrival.

Sri Padarajam Saranam Prapadheye
Sri Padarajam Saranam Prapadheye
Sri Padarajam Saranam Prapadheye

MalStrom · Jun 11, 2015

OP,
Congratulations! There is no need to act. Using gestational carriers is becoming more common and is nothing to be ashamed about. Just say the truth matter of factly. The most important people are all on board already.
Also think about the scenario where you put up an act and then the truth comes out. This is your baby, regardless of who is carrying it. Just say proudly that you are expecting a baby.

anika987 · Jun 11, 2015

There is no need to act

acting for nine months is not easy.works in movies and not in real life.u may have to go some place where none u know sees you for nine months and then come back.only then it will work.still it is a LIE which u need to live through forever.

Acting is uneccessary stress and fear.do u want that?

people who r sane,humane ,decent will understand about surrogacy and will support u.those who question u on your decision are not even worth.

u need not live a lie and u just need to tell the truth.ur kid in future will also understand for sure the pain u went through for having a child.he or she will also turn up to be a better human.

be strong.believe in God.there r too many nice people who will understand u dear.

Ragini25 · Jun 19, 2015

how do you act 8-9 month preg in real life? (in movies they add pillows!).
You cannot act.

Denni · Jun 19, 2015

Better reconsider. Its not easy to pretend to be pregnant. You have to start looking pregnant at 5 months till 9. Its a lot of hard work to act pregnant. Sometimes you forget that you are acting and may spill the beans yourself.

Dont torture yourself. Having a baby is a wonderful thing. You should be excited not stressed out. Forget about what others think. The important people....your DH, parents and In Laws are ok with it, why bother about others?

sarada30 · Jun 26, 2015

Hi Dear,

I can understand how it feels if you have to act. But great that your Dh and every one is ready for surrogacy.

Wish you all the best

monika1234 · Aug 10, 2018

I can completely understand your situation. I myself am finding myself in a very similar situation. I was diagnosed with a poor ovarian reserve. My AMH levels are very low and FSH levels are very high. I am really concerned about my situation. I am honestly not sure what to do next. My doctors are saying that IVF wouldn't work for me. Some say it might work but the chances of MC are very high. I don't think I can endure the pain of an MC. There are not many options left for me. I have been told to consider IVF with DE. However, another problem that I face is that I suffer from anorexia. This makes my case a lot more complicated. So before opting for any treatment my doctor always asks me to think twice. I am honestly so confused.