Superb Definitions

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by mathangikkumar, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. mathangikkumar

    mathangikkumar Platinum IL'ite

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mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> CIGARETTE:

    A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!


    MARRIAGE:
    It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

    LECTURE:
    An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds
    of either.

    CONFERENCE:
    The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    COMPROMISE:
    The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

    TEARS:
    The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

    CONFERENCE ROOM:
    A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

    ECSTASY:
    A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

    CLASSIC:
    A book which people praise, but never read.

    SMILE:
    A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

    OFFICE:
    A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    YAWN:
    The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    ETC:
    A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    COMMITTEE:
    Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    EXPERIENCE:
    The name men give to their mistakes.

    ATOM BOMB:
    An invention to bring an end to all inventions.

    PHILOSOPHER:
    A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

    DIPLOMAT:
    A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    OPPORTUNIST:
    A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

    OPTIMIST:
    A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

    PESSIMIST:
    A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.

    MISER:
    A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH.

    CRIMINAL:
    A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.

    BOSS:
    Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

    POLITICIAN:
    One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence later .

    DOCTOR:
    A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!

    FATHER:
    A banker provided by nature.


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