super confused and feel guilty after seemandham

havnt talked to MIL in two years..havnt gone to her place even once after we left inlaws house. but my hubby visits them often. he has good relation with his parents..i never interfered... My fil hates me for no reason or simply that i dont get along with mil and i confronted him in email lately. (he blasted at me in the reply mail with false accusations is different story)... he had to attend and lead the function for the relatives sake and demanded many things...(though the entire expense is my dh and my parents'...this again a diff story..lets leave it at that)

my dh told me that his mom wud attend the function along with his dad...i was preparing myself mentally that after a long time am going to see her, the person that harassed and ill treated me still never feel guilty about it. but she never showed up(i dont know her plan...is it just to make her son feel guilty? or she doesnt hav the face to show to me after all what she did to me?) and this broken my DH's heart. for outside he is cool..but i know for sure that he is feeling damn guilty and sad inside. he is broken ..now, i feel very sorry for him and at the same time started feeling guilty myself.

my mom also thinks that i am wrong and i should hav invited her for the funtion..atleast should hav talked to her on phone..besides i never told many harassments that i went through..as it wud hurt my mom. she tells "mils will be like that only everywhere..u just learn to ignore..she doesnt attend ur funtion is a big sin..dont let elders curse u"

as far myself am ready to forgive her..but i dread patching up with her though i wud do it for my DH. ive gained his confidence in this two years(living separately from inlaws)but im afraid that she wud spoil our marriage life again if i call and talk to her for my hubby or if i visit my inlaws with DH. am so confused..all i want is be peaceful without caring who talks and who dont. my dh is enough for me... but i cant see my dh like this anymore.. the baby is coming soon..and patching up may become a necessity. my heart is already melting for my dh..i wud definitely patch up but only for him...and wud regret later probably!!!!!

what u guys suggest? its difficult to concentrate on pregnancy when my dh keeps long face..(he is not angry at me..he just feels very sad..i dont want that)beside this, my fil is always belittling him comparing his daughter. telling she is growing in her career becos she spends lot of money on parents...she gifts us..she takes us to hospital..but u will never grow as u dont care for ur parents"(again, a emotional play? to make him feel guilty?)
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there should be a Rx symbol in the beginning of ur post...its like a perfect prescription right now.. thanks for giving clarity of thought..not so confused rightnow.

as a matter of fact noone expected me to invite before the function..including my dh. its their house function..its their right to attend it..i dint expect that she wud give it a royal miss. everyone thought that she wud make her mighty presence. but after the function ppl started finger point me as a reason..thats all. besides, my dh never made any formal calls to my parents and invited them...i dint expect it too.. they themselves were present and took care of everything. am not going to send my mil away when she is coming to invite her grand child..the question is wud she be interested in coming then? or ppl will find another reason to put the blame on me?

thanks so much for the wishes megalife. and also for the suggestion...let me try concentrate on pregnancy and baby first.