Sumangali Prarthanai: Who can perform?

Discussion in 'Festivals, Functions & Rituals' started by JParimala, Jan 10, 2013.

  1. JParimala

    JParimala New IL'ite

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    Hi ladies, here is my situation and I would greatly appreciate your responses. I am not very familiar with Tamil Iyengar rituals, so I am hoping someone can answer my questions.

    To explain briefly: My 70 year old mother in law died of breast cancer two years ago. She has three sons, the eldest is my husband. My father in law remarried within a year of my MIL's death. His new wife had also been previously married but her first husband had died long ago.

    All three of us daughters in law have been regular in performing all the masyams and shraddham for my MIL. The second wife was not involved in any of these. My MIL's second divasam was in November 2012.

    Now, we have been told that the second wife has performed a Sumangali Prarthanai for my MIL, with just members of her family involved. None of us knew of this beforehand. Only my father in law was present for the rituals. The motive seems to be to convince my FIL that the second wife is doing this for the sake of the first wife.

    I am worried that the prarthanai was not conducted in accordance with traditional ritualistic practices.

    I have three questions:

    1) Can a Sumangali Prarthanai be performed for a deceased woman by a total stranger, who is in no way related to her, and that too by someone who has remarried the dead woman's husband? I thought the prarthanai can only be performed by daughters and daughters in lalw of the deceased woman.

    2) Normally, such prarthanais have to be performed the day after the divasam to invoke the deceased woman's blessings. In this case, that was not followed. So, is this puja valid at all?

    3) Does the second wife fit the traditional requirements of someone who is a kartha for a sumangali prarthanai? She has been widowed before and she has been remarried to my FIL for only two years. I think Sumangalis, by tradition, are those who have been married to the same man for many years. Am I wrong in this?

    Please let me know.
     
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  2. swamy24598

    swamy24598 New IL'ite

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    1) Nope, it cannot be done...only daughters and daughter-in-laws are the persons can do it
    2) Yes, shuld be done next day of sraartham...hence done by MIL is not valid and of no use.
    3) Shez not a kartha as per Smrithi's sayings...

    You can perform at your home, and no need of inviting your 2nd MIL for the function.. If your husband have sisters, you can invite them for the function and conduct Sumangali Prarthanai with other brothers and their wives too, which holds good as per traditions...
     

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