Sumangali Prarthanai & Pondugal

Re: Sumangali Prarthana

Dear Madam Chitra,
Many thanks for your response. Reading thru it made it seem as if I was forseeing a problem where none existed. Thanks but strangely U have put my mind at rest and i will surely follow your advice to relax enjoy and perform the ritual with devotion and respect. I hope I have replied in the correct forum this time as being new to the chain I am still to get used to the procedural requirements.
With warm regards,
Kalpana.

 

Dear Kalpana,
Please go to
New Member Area
Do enjoy your stay in IL!
Love,
Chithra.

 

Re: Sumangali Prarthana

Dear Chitra Madam,
The sumangali Prarthanai at our place got over on the said date. There were many issues which were stunning like, my niece who is of age was made to sit as a kanya pondugal and couned as one among them, my husband had to do puja ( doopam, deepam, and the kumkum and akshadai keeping) for the podavalam ( which was a six yards pattu saree), he was the one who vattufied neeru for the sunamgali and the kanyas and was also asked to request them to eat well and bless us all. As the elder daughter in law my role was only to serve . Belonging to a family from Trivandrum, all this came as somethng new to me but then again as u suggested, I did what was asked of me with full devotion praying to all the departed sumangalis of our family. If in my previous mail I had raised so many quiries it was only because what was happening was so very different from what I had observed and seen of sumangali prarthanai.
But anyway what I got out of all this is lots of blessings and the opportunity to interact with you.
Thanks again,
With regards,
kalpana.

 

Re: Sumangali Prarthana

Dear Chitra Madam,
The sumangali Prarthanai at our place got over on the said date. There were many issues which were stunning like, my niece who is of age was made to sit as a kanya pondugal and couned as one among them, my husband had to do puja ( doopam, deepam, and the kumkum and akshadai keeping) for the podavalam ( which was a six yards pattu saree), he was the one who vattufied neeru for the sunamgali and the kanyas and was also asked to request them to eat well and bless us all. As the elder daughter in law my role was only to serve . Belonging to a family from Trivandrum, all this came as somethng new to me but then again as u suggested, I did what was asked of me with full devotion praying to all the departed sumangalis of our family. If in my previous mail I had raised so many quiries it was only because what was happening was so very different from what I had observed and seen of sumangali prarthanai.
But anyway what I got out of all this is lots of blessings and the opportunity to interact with you.
Thanks again,
With regards,
kalpana.

 

Dear Kalpana,
I understand your issue perfectly.
You are so steeped in your mother's house tradition that all this looked very different to you. But remember, adaptability has to be the greatest asset for an Indian woman for peaceful co-existence in the in-laws' house & just accept whatever is done in your in-laws' house.
To start with, just do with full devotion, what is expected of you or asked of you.Gradually you will fall in line and nothing will shock you anymore.
Don't feel cramped or frustrated by sastrams & sampradayams. It is all "man-made", after all. What is acceptable to Tanjorians may not be acceptable to Kerala People, as it happened in my case!Do not feel stifled at all!
Take care, Kaplana.
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear Maam,
Thanks so much. As always your replies are very encouraging. Am planning to do exaclty what you have suggested . Put relationships above rituals. Becoz losing the former while taking care of the latter seems meaningless. I guess the sooner this is accepted and practised the more strength realtionships will get irrespective kof whatever be the nature of relation.
Regards,
Kalpana.

 

sumangali prarthanai

dear pavithra,

i read your articles on sumagali prarthanai.

iam from tiruchy and have got married in Tirunelveli side. my mother in law is aware of some things but also would like to know if i have missed out on any details.

secondly my brother is getting married in May. my parents are no more. my mom was a sumangali when she died. i want to know how to perform sumangali prarthanai (tiruchy side). also woul like to know if it has to be performed after the marriage (after the arrival of Daughter in law) or before. can i also sit for the same.

usha

 

Dear Usha,
It is safer to go by the family customs.
Generally, it is better to perform before the marriage, seeking the blessings of the diseased.
You can sit, but verify with your family. If not also, you can sit, no problem.
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear Experts!

I read Sumangili Prarthanai with interest... one of the members mentioned about Poovada Panai and I could not see any further discussion on the poovada panai and associated pondukal. Could you please shed some light on the following:

what are the rituals the panai, associated with mangili pondugal?
when do you change the pudavai?

Thanks so much in advance!

Thanks,
Sunita

 

I have given here, whatever I know. I am sorry, I do not know, the details you have asked for.
Love,
Chithra.