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Suggestion To Leave Us For Delivery

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by balarajesh, Aug 27, 2017.

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Aug 28, 2017 #11

balarajesh Senior IL'ite

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Sweety82 said: ↑

I know my sis friend. Her husband wanted to bring his parents for her delivery. And he also said her parents should not come first to USA for this. She got hurt and she decided not to bring anyone for this purpose. She herself managed everything even some things without her husband and drove to hospital herself after her labour started. She delivered a healthy baby. So relax and you can also manage alone. Have a strong determination. If u come to India all GC processing problems will be there. So think twice before u land in here. All the best.
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Thanks sweety I'll try to manage alone all your stories gave some confidence to me as I was struggling to get some sleep .. may be I'm stressing out too much for none

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

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Aug 28, 2017 #12

balarajesh Senior IL'ite

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dollysonpari said: ↑

Hi

Congrats!!!! Dont stress out much.. I can understand ur position .. As other IL frnds suggested Its not wise to go to India for delivery.. Else u can Plan to go to India after child birth ..may be after 8-12 weeks as per ur doc's suggestion... or as soon as u arrange passport for the kid.. Since ur in Green card its going to little hard or long wait to get green card to ur child or the process is going to be more complicated i guess(Im not sure how this process is going to be regarding Visa) .. If u hv child here in US .. no need to stress out for anything.. If ur husband is supportive be open to him saying that u dont need ur In-laws here for delivery.. Its not that hard to manage to alone..
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Thank you so much dolly it's my second pregnancy that's y was worried to manage both kids without mom support but ya leaving us is not a good decision

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

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Aug 28, 2017 #13

Deborah Gold IL'ite

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balarajesh said: ↑

Thank you Deborah
I forgot to mention that I have 4 1/2 half yr old elder kid this is my second pregnancy that's why but confused how to manage him during that time
Thanks for ur suggestions and yes I'll try to manage alone here and proceed[/QUOTE

Put him in pre school. Simple. He goes to school and you will have time for the baby and the house.And if the ILs do end up coming, keep them involved with the older kid.Cooking for him, feeding him ,taking him to park etc.Also try to keep their visit as short as possible.
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Deborah, Aug 28, 2017

Deborah, Aug 28, 2017

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Aug 28, 2017 #14

balarajesh Senior IL'ite

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Sunburst said: ↑

Women all over the world are having babies with little or no support . It's just in our culture that we expect all the help from aging parents or ILs. If you need help , be prepared for issues to crop up and you may have to swallow your pride for the time being . It's only the 6- 8 weeks post partum that you need to recover so maybe you can manage to put up with ILs.

Why go through all the stress of moving and citizenship issues for the baby ? If you don't want ILs, get help from DH or hire some help here . Also, labor and delivery here is such a wonderful experience. Everything is so damn perfect in the delivery/ post partum room . You may not have the same experience in India . I have personally seen how nurses and doctors treat women in maternity wards in India so you are better off delivering here .
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Hi I gave birth to my first kid in India I was in my moms place so everything was so smooth n had complete rest I went back to India before he was born only because of my inlaws compulsion now we got settled here but managing both kids was my concern ESP during delivery time as first one I had csection recovery time will be more . Yes I do accept the way they treat in India during delivery I'll try to manage here alone . Thank you

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

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Aug 28, 2017 #15

balarajesh Senior IL'ite

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DDream said: ↑

Are you sure that you are ready to spend more than six month or more in India for delivery. If so you have to leave US before you reach 28th week.Also you have to wait in India for passport, green card etc.. for many months...so check all the processing time. Etc

In my own experience( both kids born here, managed alone with the help of dh), it is better to stay in Us for delivery. There is a great chance that it end up in normal delivery also the hospital treat you well. In usa you have a system that help you to manage with little help. Both of you can manage it...Also it will help your dh to bond you and baby well.. he should be ready to help.
One concern may be about food . You can order from outside or teach your dh to cook simple healthy items. In my case friends also brought food.. later, after two to three weeks, I tried cooking with the help of dh. ..I prepared some dishes before due date and kept in freezer, too. In indian store you get many things. Use ricecooker ...dont worry about kitchen much.. let your dh manage it ...give him a chance ..☺. Plan this part well.

If your parents or ils are healthy and do everything them selves, it may help. Still, it take time for them to familiarize here.Only then it is of any use. Else you will end up cooking,taking care of you, baby every one by yourself. It will be too much.. I have seen that with many ladies here. My ils joined me after 4 month of delivery, even though they were of great help with baby, I end up doing more cooking etc to make sure they are ok here... It was too much for me with my eesk body, job etc..I felt like I would have managed alone than this set up. Daycare here will take babies even when they are below two months, just mentioned if you need that info

So it is easy to manage alone in Us with the help of your dh... that is easy for you, in my own experience.

After delivery you take nearly three months to get social security number, birth certificates, passports etc. You can apply for visa or pio card for your baby. May be then you can go India and stay there for long. When you return may be you can take your parents along with you.

Anyway think about all and chose one that is the best for YOU, because you are the one who is going to be affected more than any one during this event ..
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Hi thanks for ur reply after seeing all your stories feeling much better that I can manage both kids
Since elder one is just going to start kindergarten this year I was worried how will I manage both kids during delivery . By seeing all your concerns and suggestions I'm now ready to accept this as a challenge
Thank you

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

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Aug 28, 2017 #16

balarajesh Senior IL'ite

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Yeah he will be going to kindergarten now hopefully I'll be able to manage if he goes to school the whole day

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

balarajesh, Aug 28, 2017

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Aug 28, 2017 #17

DDream Finest Post Winner

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balarajesh said: ↑

Hi thanks for ur reply after seeing all your stories feeling much better that I can manage both kids
Since elder one is just going to start kindergarten this year I was worried how will I manage both kids during delivery . By seeing all your concerns and suggestions I'm now ready to accept this as a challenge
Thank you
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Op, dont worry, your elder one can manage many things himself and will be busy with school. I hope your dh can take paternity leave. Just sharing my story if it helps. In my case elder one was <3y during delivery. When I was in pain, we all went to the hospital. So we informed our friend. They came and took my son to their home ( Saturday, so no daycare). Both of us stayed in the hospital. After delivery (normal), my dh stayed with me till night. Then he went home with son and stayed there till morning. I stayed alone in the hospital with dd. But the staff took care of me like a baby and they were there for anything. I was treated like a queen. Next morning, dh and son joined. My son also stayed there. He was so happy to meet his sister and we made him busy with his tablet and dvd player.(Hospital will provide food and we can order for anyone else who stay with us there). I was discharged that night itself as there was no complications. If I can manage, I think anyone can. That is what I believe. Hope you have a great delivery. Anyway, prepare your elder one emotionally for the event. Relax and Enjoy.

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DDream, Aug 28, 2017

DDream, Aug 28, 2017

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Aug 30, 2017 #18

AalokaMalik New IL'ite

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chocolate said: ↑

Op, Consult an attorney for best suggestion. Do you live in a big city like LA, NY, NJ. If you do then hire lots of help and see if you can deliver here. Otherwise look into easiest way you can bring your kid back with you . Attorneys will be able to help you the best here.Congrats .Good Luck.
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I agree

AalokaMalik, Aug 30, 2017

AalokaMalik, Aug 30, 2017

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Oct 2, 2017 #19

balarajesh Senior IL'ite

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dear all

currrent update is my hubby is bringing his parents for delivery now..probably for 6 months stay ...

balarajesh, Oct 2, 2017

balarajesh, Oct 2, 2017

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Oct 2, 2017 #20

AalokaMalik New IL'ite

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I think so

AalokaMalik, Oct 2, 2017

AalokaMalik, Oct 2, 2017

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