Suggestion Please - Sil Life Is Becoming Hell Because Of Her Ils

Hi Priya,

Missed the point raised by songbird. Panchayat at your in-laws home. Not her in-laws home.

It has to be your home ground

All the best
Mani 75

 

It makes me a bit nervous, @Priya4oct that her inlaws have suddenly proposed to change. People can't change. Especially not nasty people amd also not that quickly. How does she feel about her husband mainly? Can't they stay separately? Why still with inlaws?

It worries me that his is just a tactic for delay - they perhaps think once the child is born she will be well and truly stuck.

How does she feel towards her husband? (It takes me a lot of self control to not add unflattering adjectives before the word husband) I wonder whether he is worth it.

Also she will be understandably angry for all that they have put her through. Will they have the maturity to help her work through her anger? How will she sort herself out?

I wish her the best. I sincerely believe she needs time off from these people to think clearly and decide...

 

In such a situations hope is mans worst enemy.No people do not change.Tell her to leave asap.
Also if she not sure to keep baby there is limitation i think of 3 months.After that doctor might refuse to abort the child.
Take the decision asap.

 

I'm very skeptical of your SIL'S IL's behavior. I see it as just a trap to stall her there. These people hardly change. Please watch the situation very carefully.

 

Hi Priya,

Whatever FIL is trying to portray that he was unaware itself raises the flag.They may behave better for sometime till they know your SIL cannot abort the child. what later if they change.
I think its high risk in continuing pregnancy at this stage. I know its hard to do but think about it. if she has a kid and then they start behaving differently again then she will again be stuck in this situation of not divorcing since she has a child.
I have seen myself my husband change once i was 7 months pregnant knowing i cant do anything and then the SIL MIL again started abusing me indirectly and showing diff picture to my husband.
I also had divorced SIL staying with us , her insecurities, her unhappiness and her jealousy, since SIL suffering MIL accusing me for everything under the earth.

Please dont trust her in laws fully

@SGBV : Please can you check your inbox

 

Is it possible for a married woman in India to abort without the consent of the husband?

Some one I know wanted to abort the baby(the first one was still too young) when her husband was away for some time (and I suspect without his consent).The doctor refused to do it without the husband's consent.
This was a military hospital. I don't know if it is allowed in other hospitals .

 

Hi,
I dont know for pregnancies after 12 weeks but till 12 weeks we can do it without husband's consent in India as well. Its legal as well citing emotional issues or physical strength of the mother. they need the signature of some relative and then it can be done.

 

I second yellow mango. If ur sil wants to work her relationship with her husband, please ask her husband to go with her for marriage counselling.

 

@Priya4oct,

As others said, please get back your SIL to your home. Her IL's are acting; not changed really. They are now afraid that, you people might file a complaint against them. thats the only reason, I could see from their change.

Now, take your SIL with you. Get a job near by to your place. If at all they come back to you, dont talk to them. Her DH should come and talk to her, he can only heal the wounds of your SIL by his action. So let him come. She can go for a nuclear family set up if at all her DH comes down and talk to her properly. DH should take her to his working place, so that they can live better.

If DH doesnt come at all, she can just throw him out of life.