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Student falling in love. [Problem: With a teacher]

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by nandini1905, Jan 19, 2012.

  1. nandini1905

    nandini1905 New IL'ite

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    Its about a boy's love. He likes a teacher in his school. She is obviously married. In her 30's. Probably 40. He is scared to tell it. He is very good in studies so no prob with that. I dont know more about his feelngs but what do you think? But love doesnt see ages and all that. He is madly fallen for her. Pls dont reply if you're going to say its wrong and all that stuff but pls help me solve that guy's problem. No vulgour thoughts from his side. But yeah he said that he wishes to spend some time with her and rest is left to her.
     
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  2. anurar20

    anurar20 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hey nandini.......

    Let that boy tell his feelings towards his teacher. If he dont have any vulgour thoughts then that will be a motherly love........no problem with that.............
     
  3. sangiak

    sangiak Bronze IL'ite

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    hi nandini,
    from your last sentence, it does not seem that the boy is going in the right direction (he said that he wishes to spend some time with her and rest is left to her). Also, from this sentence, it is not clear as to what kind of reply u expect from ur fellow Indus Ladies here (I dont know more about his feelings, but what do you think?) Are we expected to comment only good things abt this student boy nandini.

    He must right now concentrate on studies first, FULL STOP. Start seeing this teacher as an elderly person, sister, mother, etc. and stop all other pervasive thoughts about her. Because deviation of mind at this stage will end in disaster for his future career, again a FULL STOP.

    So, pls advise him to concentrate more on extra-curricular activities and not go further with 1:1 relationship, etc. with a lady as old as his mom/sister.....

    Hope u have understood Nandini...Take care...keep smiling...!!!
     
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  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    I suppose this thread should be posted in school goers and teens rather than married life.

    Some students, tend to misunderstand the little extra attention given by a teacher. it is the age where they rebel at home, try to test their boundaries from being a boy to man. a gentle reprimand, a prod towards his goal, a little advice about infatuation and the passing phase would help.

    the problem arises if the teacher also feels something towards the student. the teacher needs to remember she is way too old, and in this case, has to take the upper hand in drawing the line.
     
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  5. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Some students do feel attract towards their teachers...in some cases it is because of adolescent changes...in others it maybe because the teacher is supportive during a stressful event. Either case, I doubt if the student is old enough to analyze his feelings and understand the basis for them. He doesn't have the perspective to realize that feelings change!

    Whatever the case, it is not fair to put the teacher in a tight spot! If she has no reciprocal feelings, she is going to be surprised. If this is bandied about then she is goingto be unfairly judged.

    On her part, whatever her feelings, it is unethical to become involved with a student. This is a universal code of ethics...no matter which country.

    Advise the kid to take it easy...
     
  6. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    I am assuming that you are that teacher and got confused yourself and trying to seek the same answer that this world knows for a healthy person act in this case.

    If you are not that person, use that person in your place in the following reply..

    If you are confused and dont want to act matured for your age group, stop here and move on with your own thoughts which comes with a package of consequences. If not(you are likely not as you came here for the opinion)... read on...

    Its very fact that almost all kids likes their teachers next to their parents. From little kinder kid to the adult student. No gender here... its an unconditional like.. (Even I saw kids saying.. I want to be a teacher and act like teacher at home.. after school). thats the power and influence of a teacher on a kid.
    Many (and almost all) teachers use this fact and directs kids in a very positive way and remain in the student's minds as a model and moral for life..

    Now coming to your situation, you can do many possible things
    1) Use your mature mind, try to treat him more than a teacher and like a mother of Big Sister who cares about that student success.. When he got an attraction on you, he will listen ANYTHING you say... tell him that you dream to see him in the top position of the exam results, want to see him on a poster of a college ranks results ad etc etc.. he would be inspired and motivated to show his success to you.. you wont carry any fruit of that, but he will hold its result for life(make sure that you dont give any wrong signals /promises in this process.. its a smooth handling of the thin line between the teenage attraction and a mature minded (teacher)..
    2) If required, keep his parents in the loop wherever its possible.. dont do anything secretly or confidentially.. he may misunderstand it and remember.. teenagers are prone to do drastic things with an inflated decision mind.. they may do unexpected(like suicide etc) for simple things..
    3) If you are really low on your morale and confidence to be not falling for him, be a good girl and move away from him as much as you can..

    Good luck..
     
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  7. deepa10

    deepa10 Gold IL'ite

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    What is your say in this?? What is his age? What do you think about this...
     
  8. ushae

    ushae Silver IL'ite

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    It is just infatuation.He must be in his preteens/teen age. This happens to many boys. It will vanish when he sees still a better one
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2012
  9. hemalathaK

    hemalathaK Platinum IL'ite

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    If the boy is scared to express his love to the teacher, then why do you bother about it in the first place?

    In case if the teacher feels proud or some thing special just because her student has fallen for her and is so crazy about her then the teacher actually needs counselling first.JMO
     
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  10. Reflection123

    Reflection123 New IL'ite

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    I think she needs to firmly tell him without mincing words, or creating an iota of confusion that he is being dumb, and she can NEVER feel anything similar for him. And it doesn't matter if all he wants to do is only spending time with her....the only time she can spend with him is in the classroom, while giving tuition to ALL the students together. Also she should tell him that he better focus on his work, or his exam results will suffer. She should in any event, NOT give him any kind of special attention over other students.

    I think making it clear to him...if everything appears normal, she should move on..and carry on sincerely with her teaching duties. If he does anything crazy...just make some counseling available to him, consulting his parents.
     

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