Hello mindvoice, Your case is quite unusual. I read the thread and all your replies and what is clear is that 1. There seems a substantial power/status differential between you and your h/his family. 2. You seem to feel you are required to obey, be subservient, and cook and clean in return for his paying the bills. It seems almost like you regard it as a contract. This power differential appears to be quite large and something you appear to be unable to bridge on your own. Even when your family enters the picture they can only politely request on your behalf and not really force the issue. So this is not social conditioning alone it seems to me. Was there some sort of agreement at the time of your marriage? I have heard of some expat families who will go all the way back to native village for their son's bride because they want an obedient, pure, sanskaari kind of bahu who is not infected with all the poisonous modern ideas that most of the city girls are prone to, one who knows her place and will do all the work and be grateful to do it...blah blah. Is yours that kind of situation? Did you obey your parents and marry this man because you were told this is beyond your good fortune to get a match like this almost a miracle and now few years into this miracle life you are sick and tired and fed up of it and want to break out but dont know how? If so please clarify so we can offer you the right kind of advice. The reason I ask is because - You have recd nearly 50 replies of the other kind of advice (where folks have assumed this is the normal kind of marital adjustment problem and offered their suggestions) and obviously you have not found ANY of it helpful. PS: And OP, if I am wrong, I am wrong. You can just tell me so. No need to bash me or call me names. It was just a speculative question intended to help you find a solution, not to pry and poke into your personal affairs. I wish you well and hope you find peace soon.