Hi again! This was my kinda-long story, and I am still stuck in the same rut. Tried to escape, but after a lot of confusion and drama and what not, and heartfelt renditions of "things will be different", I put myself back in my hell. Oh yeah, there was improvement - great, heart warming, encouraging improvement.. More communication, more involvement, more affection, no more silent treatments... I really thought things were changing...until in-laws came back... And bam! poof! the newly-improved version was gone - not in a day, but quick decay - a matter of days to couple of weeks. So. I know my position now. I am here seeking advice on how to be assertive. I have major issues standing up for myself. I am not able to figure out how to do it myself, and do not have access to a counselor. Please help me and guide me, and excuse me if you have to tell me the obvious. I want to know what would be the appropriate way to respond to not-too-bad in-laws but a totally cut-off husband (no reason whatsoever, he just spends every free moment with his parents to my exclusion).. I feel isolated, because nothing is discussed or shared with me. I am not involved in anything, no decision-making big or small. He will discuss with them and decide. We moved some time back, and it is his parents and him that do all the setting up of the (not-so-)new place. They will decide weekend plans. They will decide shopping plans. They will even decide the grocery list (which however I have to make sure nothing is missed 'coz then I'm the hopelessly inefficient one (not said but implied), why didn't you say etc).. Feeling unimportant and like unpaid help who exists to just do their bidding to suit their needs. It's not about the work (and frankly, I don't have spine enough to tell them to just do it themselves)... I am asking how I should carry myself when this is how they treat me.. I keep hurting about them treating me like this, and tend to get passive aggressive, but am pulling myself up nowadays and trying to be assertive. But am clueless. Where do I draw my limits? My whole day goes running around them and their needs and I find it irritating. There are more issues...everyday dealings.. don't want to overwhelm in first post.. I guess this has become more of an 'intro' post.. but none of my issues are unique, and quite common.. so please share your suggestions and counsel.