OP, How long you been together? He stayed away for many years. It might have affected bonding with you. That time how did he satisfy his physical needs. Is he watching ****. Is he addicted to that. Long term use of that for masturbation can lead to these kind of numbness and ED. Its a proven fact. We normal people are no where near to those **** stars there in the eyes of those addicted to it. The addiction can lead to less appreciation of life partner. Men are visual, its a proven fact. Another chance is he may be getting his needs satisfied in some other ways. It can be an emotional affair or anything like that. But its not good to suspect your husband that way if you dont have any evidence. But keep an eye on him. I would suggest you not to stop intimacy. If he is not getting peak its his problem, you don't have to scarify your needs. I am sure you might have discussed your concerns with him. Use him as your sex toy. Also keep on spending time with him. touch him often. Find time for it . You can find thousands of excuses for not doing so. But try. Sleep with him once kids are asleep. Also make sure when you are with him, you look and smells good and pleasant as much as you can. Taking some effort wont hurt. Dont take his comment that you are looking fat is the reason to heart. Its a very insensitive approach from his side. But ask yourself is there any truth in that. If not completely ignore it. He is simply finding reasons to ignore you. It has nothing to do with you. I really dont understand why men think this way. They want kids, only wife can give that. But then they complain about fat, stretch mark etc. They want the women to look the same all the time. Its so cruel. I think is because of lack of love and respect. If its there, there will be total acceptance. If he complain about you, you can tell him, he is not the one you married, he has also changed. If you think you need to reduce weight (if BMI should be between 18-24), and look beautiful, do it for yourself, not for anyone. I have noticed that in India many women wear the nightwear all the time. Throw away, replace better ones for night time only and wear good clothes/dresses that make you look confident/beautiful during day time even if you are a stay at home mom. You can go to spa or beauty parlor to groom you well. Also every morning get up and dress for you. It will also give you some confidence. Look at the mirror and say, you are beautiful every day. Focus on you. Dont let others words to harm you and affect your self-esteem. Cheer up girl..