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Strange Relationship

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by jananrems, Jun 15, 2019.

  1. jananrems

    jananrems New IL'ite

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    Hello everyone ,glad that i found a community where i can share/ask suggestion anonymously.
    Iam going to get married in few months my future husband has couple of months left in his on site work,all this happened 1 month back when a friend got US visa ,she gave a us a party it was late night so my co worker dropped me to my flat it was not intentional we both were drunk we had sex ,he knows i got engaged so i told him lets forget it,but from then on he started acting weird buying me coffee ,asking me for lunch and dinner,i told him clearly ,what happened was a accident and i have told my future husband about it and i have nothing to hide but still he try to impress me by waiting outside after work.
    He is a nice guy i dont want to hurt him ,just making him understand it was unintentional,may be after few months will be move on after my marriage? or any other suggestions
     
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  2. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    A drunk designated driver to take a drunk home ? Not a good thing to do.
    LOL..."have nothing to hide.." is such a clever turn of phrase for this story. He must have been impressed, and therefore hopes for at least a few happy returns, when sober, and when you are still unhitched.
     
  3. jananrems

    jananrems New IL'ite

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    Nothing to hide means ,nothing to hide from my future husband to keep this incident secret and further complicate this
     
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  4. messedup

    messedup Gold IL'ite

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    Just ignore that person and he will move on in sometime. No one wait for the one who is not interested for long.
     
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  5. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    It's up to you to ignore or accept this co worker. But rethink about this marriage. If you have any sincerity towards that relationship or love towards your fiance, you might have stayed away from this situation. As you are not sincere these kind of " accidents" can occur in future. Will you be ok if your fiance end up in similar accidents..
    Its your life your decision.
     
  6. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    I am surprised by your casual attitude towards this one night stand. I am also surprised that the fiancé has been told about this and he had a seemingly casual reaction too ( considering your “nothing to hide ”stance) . Being drunk is no excuse , @Amulet rightly pointed out, having a equally drunk individual escort you home was a recipe for disaster.

    The victim ( and perpetrator) of your casual one night accident has been emotionally invested in the drunken affair. Meanwhile, you are preparing for your wedding.

    I must be living under a rock, but is this how sexual relationships are viewed these days?
    Do younglings not worry about emotional investment before sex, STD’s , morality, unwanted pregnancies anymore ? Or is everything acceptable because “ I have nothing to hide ”?

    As a mother, I am worried. I must have the bees and birds talk sooner. I also have to tell my kids that the bees and the birds have to be responsible before they both learn to fly.
     
  7. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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  8. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Telling your fiance was not wise. It will come back and bite you later in your married life
     
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  9. PLK

    PLK Silver IL'ite

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    We had unintentional sex...or I murdered someone...because I was drunk...acceptable?
    What guarantee,it wont happen again, with someone else perhaps...post marriage...because drinking could happen again...
    It is clear cheating and even if future husband has no issue after knowing, there will surely be issues...beware
     
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  10. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes.
    You only get back what you “put out”. Or... put in:confundio1:?
    Perhaps that is what your current besotted is thinking.
    Never mind us. Tell us the reaction of your fiancé when he heard the news. If he is a kind person, he may be happy that you were safe.....no? Or.... this is some kind of mental test of his resolve to hitch hisself to you. Either way, go on and have a fun filled happy life.
     

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