Strange problem - cannot think of a workaround

I read through all suggestions. Quite interesting. However, here I have to make clear thar I have no curiosity whatsoever to dig further into my sil's current favorite hobby. There are sone things which I don't like, and cannot be bothered about. Cricket for example is one thing for me. You may have such few aversions too.

My dh and I were so much likeminded, that's what I always thought. We have had similar interest..movies, books p, traveling. Just superficial things, but ones that give us joy instantly. After my sil episode, my dh's behavior kind of broke my heart because I realize how different we are.

Also I must mention, am a lil pregnant and carry a small bub around. On seance night, my mil wanted my sil to bless my bump. WTF?! I was quite shaken ( even scared) already looking at my sil and the intense environment in her house, and as she approached me I became quite dizzy. My dh understood, held me asked if I were okay, that's when I excused myself to go to washroom and didn't return until after the performance was over. He even teased me later if he should carry me home in his pocket. ( thats his fav joke on me as he is 6.3 ft and 190 pounds and am a meek 5 ft 100 pounds).

The reason I stated this is becoz am worried my mil will want to me come over every time to have my bub 'blessed'.

I need to find a way out of this commotion without hampering my relation with my loving dh and mil because otherwise I have no issues with my mil. Strange problem, isn't it?

 

Not really. Do you think I would be less scared or paranoid if I weren't pregnant? I don't think so.

Avoiding mil,sil etc. altogether can be easily done (theoretically). Obviously, that's the first thing that would come to anyone's mind; and i thought about it even before posting here.

But is that really a practical solution? And how long can I avoid them? All my life?

Moreover, I don't have any enemity towards my mil & sil . Neither do they. In fact I always wanted to be a part of normal, civilized family where people don't just jump at each others' throat. And I always thought I had that until the recent development that took place. It's a rude shock for me, and the 'normal' part is totally contested.

And to imagine that I may have to put up with this for the rest of my life. I don't understand why things couldn't continue to remain 'normal' like they were. Why this storm in my coffee cup?

 

Since the drama, I have started seeing a new person in my dh. Someone whom I knew never existed before. We have absolutely been mum about the drama since that day; however, I can clearly judge he knows what's going on in my mind. He walks into our bedroom and I watch him silently, and he looks back at me (trying to read my mind, wondering if I will pop a question about his sis). When I remain silent, he just withdraws and it takes a while for us to start a conversation about some neutral topic that we like/dislike. Our equation has definitely changed since that night.

This comment actually made me laugh. It's weird why I can see the abnormality clearly but my darling sweet loving dh whom I married after a perfect understanding (that's what I believed), cannot!

 

My sil is a year younger to my dh, which makes her a year younger to me too; as my dh and I are of same age. He still calls her with a nickname that means 'kiddo'; and loves her like a small child. He never stops craving about her cooking (she is a great cook, agreed). Am perfectly okay with this and have no jealousy whatsoever, perhaps because I knew about this during our courtship.

I have never criticised his family with him!! It has been my strategy right from the beginning to look for a win-win situation. I can vouch that this has been the key to my peaceful married life all this while.

Am not sure why his sis was interested in spirituality right from the beginning. Am suspecting its something to do with her dad's untimely death. My dh used to tell me during our courting period that she wasn't interested in wordly things at all like going for a movie etc. but spent hours in meditation or prayers. I didn't see this as a big problem then really because she came across harmless always. She would never interefere in anyone's business including her brother's and mine; so I didn't have anything to complain about.

I have not been super friends with her so I don't know exactly about things going on in her life. She does have a child, over 2 years old now. Her in-laws apparently are very crooked, but she has managed to bring about a complete transformation in her h after few years of marriage, and now he dances to her tunes like anything!!! I really don't know how she managed that. I have not been able to bring an ounce of change in my dh lol (I haven't tried, but that's a different thing).

All I can see now is my sil's dh obeys her completely, he has taken into all kinds of spiritual things himself, even his FB status talks only about spiritual stuff!

It's a dicey situation for me because I suddenly find myself caught between strange things.