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Stop Working And Be A Home Maker_inputs Please

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by saileela85, May 22, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    That’s so nice..

    Some of my neighbors do Not like me coz exchanging pleasantries is not enough..For then I need to exchange food,be okay with their gossips,never refuse any help asked
    Since I mind my own business,it bothers them a lot and they let me know it.

    Infact when I go for walks and I smile..a lady turns away her face.

    So I tried to call them and enquire how they do and how their kids are doing.The lady was like”My kids are fine please you don’t worry”..

    It is tough..plus my relatives are not so nice.They do not like me Buying branded stuff and going on exotic vacations since they feel am a homemaker and they are always sarcastic about it.

    Worst is one of my hubby’s friends wife who herself is a homemaker asked me what is my identity and am Wasting life etc etc.She May feel that way but to take it on me was not right.I was so unhappy during my child’s birthday party.

    It is tough coz the taunts have started again.I am far from lazy and apart from working outside am pretty good and efficient in many things.Unfortunately world works on one principal. Money=hardwork.

    So yes am searching for a job nearby as of now.

    Infact..I love cleaning.Sometimes I tell my husband ..I don’t mind going to people’s houses and clean up.That will also give me money.I will be very good at it but let’s be honest..still world has not accepted all jobs equally.My husband just kept quiet and left for Work..
     
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    @anika987 no dear. The mindset to please others is not a healthy one.

    How long can you please? Today it's this thing of job. Tomorrow something else right? And if you keep pressurizing yourself to meet the "peer pressure" criteria, after a point when you reach a threshold and then not being able to meet that criteria will that start haunting you .?
    Will it put you under more pressure ?
    So next time until she smiles at you, puts an effort to be nice to you don't go to her let alone looking and giving a smile to her.
    Rude on her to have said that. But then why is anything on you?
    They are just jealous that you are able to afford that luxury and they are slogging their ass off to buy that brand(maybe). Don't prove them anything. Nothing at all.. Be yourself . Show them this is what you are doing and you are able to afford to do it. Let them go with their assumptions . (remember you cannot control their assumptions - they can go to infinite level) and trust me you can find every second person with some jealous feelings towards others.
    Homemaker itself is a great identity. :)
    You just LOL at her for her gyan which she's trying to give you on you wasting your life. How is it her business anyway. ?
    You know it very well and no need to prove to anyone .
    Maybe our assumption? Do what you feel is right dear. Not what the world feels. This world is nothing but another set of people who do not think what WE think.
    Good luck with it.

    Sorry for the lengthy post and a reply like this. But it's okay if we don't achieve big in life like working in offices/having own business etc. It's okay if we are homemakers. It's okay if the world judges us/taunts us. Let's not come under pressure . I hope you take this in the right spirit.
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Honestly..it was really sweet of you to reply with care for my post.thank you.No worries about lengthy post at all.feeling much better.once again thank you so much:)
     
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  4. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Bronze IL'ite

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    How do y split ur income now? Does it go into a joint account ?
     
  5. sbonigala

    sbonigala Finest Post Winner

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    I was giving OP an idea of how life would be if she quits work, so that she can take an informed decision.
    I am not sure how our financial set-up is relevant here.
     
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  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    It's just too bad you ate surrounded by such mean people..definitely lot of responses are due to "sour grapes".. Many people are jealous of your comfortable lifestyle..
    Also you seem to be too nice to give them back with sharp replies..
    In India in spite of having maid For cleaning work I'm struggling to manage everything.
    Really I'm too exhausted to exercise also..
    you're managing all yourself without help, how can anyone call you lazy?
    Some people will be resentful of leaving job and sitting at home and they may assume that being a home maker is big torture..maybe she belongs to that category and vented out to you..but she could have made as general discussion and not taunted you..
    Why don't you start a blog for fitness, cooking, home related stuff etc which you're so good at?

    I have heard of NRI home makers doing home catering business..working people are too exhausted and busy to cook Indian food..they would happily shell out money to get healthy home cooked food..
    My acquaintance who lived for many years in U.S. Told me that she and her friend used to prepare gravy sabji , rotis etc according to demand in weekends and working ladies would pay her good money for the food..she is from a respectable family by the way..( Since she did unofficially it's tax free income..hehe)
    my relative who is settled in U.S. Used to pay a Gujarathi lady to make Parathas ...would call and tell her previous day about requirement ...and would pick up rotis, Parathas etc form her how, on the way back from work..would freeze and store for few days and use..
    It's a perfectly respectable job..but if people want to throw taunts at anyone they will anyway do it..
    If u work in IT job and earn well they'll ask you why you neglect family for the sake of career..
    Just become thick skinned.
     
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  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    This is really a great idea. Entrepreneurship can start with something as simple as making meals and selling them. :)
    We shouldn't hesitate to start ...
    I used to follow a lady in IG.
    Being housewife in the US used to trouble her a lot. She started her IG page and started posting her everyday pics with sarees jewels etc. Slowly she started earning lot of followers and now doing brand endorsement for many sarees and jewels. Really inspiring it is..
    Likewise baking. Learn baking and start making cakes for family and friends. We don't have to open patisserie. Just baking as a passion for friends should be enough to earn something .
    Just throwing some ideas here.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2019
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  8. kveena

    kveena Finest Post Winner

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    Life teaches us everything, it’s wiser to learn from others experience! We come into this world as a single being and leave as a single being too.Just as we can’t feel the physical pain which is inflicted on others we can’t feel their emotional pain too.No matter how much our family loves us or do things for us it’s always better to fend for ourselves even if it’s not much. A woman should always have some income and at least a house for herself.

    OP it’s better to take a vacation or a break and get back to work later. Quitting job for good is definitely not a wise decision.
     
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  9. nemo

    nemo Senior IL'ite

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    I also tried various jobs , but the one I enjoyed was before marriage, coz there was less personal responsibilities, after marriage there were too much pressures and constraints from family especially. finally I decided to be at home so I can concentrate on my kids education and well being. But whenever my kids mention I’m having lot of free time being at home, feeling very sad
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I used to say that to my mother when I was a kid...

    I said” Mom,life is fun for you...always free”..

    Trust me when I say how terrible I feel right now.My mom is extremely hardworking and she still is.I get surprised by the amount of work she does.She is never idle.Being at home makes people have lot of expectations and Infact we overdo things.If we do something for ourselves,it is termed as “just coz we are free” they are doing it..sometimes one can’t even explain but it’s okay.Each one ‘s life is very different.Not every working women is the same and not every homemaker is the same.It’s become a trend to be one certain way.Deviate from it..then one is doomed.

    Don’t feel bad.Someday your kids will understand:)
     

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