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Stop Working And Be A Home Maker_inputs Please

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by saileela85, May 22, 2019.

  1. saileela85

    saileela85 Bronze IL'ite

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    Need suggestion for the below scenario which is rotating in my mind from quite a few months.

    I am a working women with kid and settled abroad but some how from past few months I am feeling like to stop working and give time to my self like going for walks ,TV time,pampering oneself,spending time with kids etc etc overall want to be stress free.

    I know have lots of responsibilities like buying a home ,kids education etc etc and my hubby is working which is not that much enough.Can some of the ladies you have faced such situation can share their thoughts and views on the same.
     
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  2. Onesweetlife

    Onesweetlife Gold IL'ite

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    I am a working mom too but in India. I hope i can share my input here.

    As the financial responsibilities never fade, i would like to suggest a sabbatical. Take a break and see how it suits you. In many cases, ladies want to join back work. So Test the waters first, before taking a final decision.

    Cheers
    Sweetlife
     
    anika987 likes this.
  3. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    I remember writing something of an advice about WHEN to stop working. I had to do a search to find it:
    Looks like I had recommended two conditions:
    1. long married
    2. husband honors and obeys you. ​
    Condition 2 is when husband deposits his total salary into a joint account, and you give him pocket money (coffee, lunch, beer, beedi expenses of the day) everyday. All money-matters are in your control, and your husband respects/abides-by your opinions. And he is pleased with the arrangement, and often tells you that.

    If condition 2 had been going on for at least five years, you are Long-Married. You can quit working and do whatever you want, but make sure you give him money for expenses everyday.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  4. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    dang... the edit window time had run out...
    I should have added that boys have difficulty with life-work-and-the-meaning-of-it-all between the ages of 45 and 55. This is usually the time when a child or two (or even three in some cases) are in late highschool and college, and the whole home is focussed on the launching of the children into life. Worries such as the stability of the employment is in the mind of the guy (usually the chief sponsor of it all) and he is somewhat low in spirits (and might be inclined to top it off with spirits now and then too), when at the same time he can really feel his body is also aging. And it would not help his psyche if his wife is having a jolly good time (in a relative sense) not having to put up with any organizational shenanigans for a wage, but stays home and takes care of things that have less interpersonal politics.

    Girls should work and bring in a wage. Her independence as well as contribution to the family income, is a vitamin to the dH. He will be happier, healthier and survive better in his organizational politics if there is a working wife in the background.
    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    On a lighter note..I just started a thread to start working:)

    I am not able to start a job again coz honestly I do enjoy my life with all you have said but right now getting lot of stress from peers. Plus I have to accept I will be getting a very small salary for a full time job with my background which will disrupt everything going and am not motivated to give up my small happiness due to pressure.


    I worked for a small salary before kids full time.It was totally fine then.With kid and other responsibilities not feeling motivated enough to give up a smooth life.

    However..the stress is there.

    The irony!

    You want to quit for a balance of life.
    I don’t want to start for a balance of life.

    :)
    Guess this is life lol

    However,coz of your financial constraints I suggest don’t quit for sometime.
    Why don’t you see how much savings you need?Also,certain things and wants can be reduced for sometime.

    Again..Maybe u need a break.Why don’t you take a vacation in a resort where u do nothing but pamper yourself,eat and relax.There are many like that.

    Book for a week or so.Then Get back to work.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  6. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    OP,
    Even I had been contemplating about my job and felt I should take a break because of medical treatment etc .
    When I conveyed to my manager she said take a break of 2 months and come back. If you still want to quit after that you can.
    That break was a refreshing one. Off course I concentrated on my medical treatment and when everything was on the right track and almost it seemed like staying at home was the best decision ever until something unexpected happened and then I started feeling "thank God I have a job and I didn't quit ".
    Bottom line is keep the job you currently have.. Look for bigger/greater/less stressful opportunities simaltaneously . If required take a sabbatical or break from work and bounce back. . I know the monotony of job and managing family is a difficult one. Break the monotony by trying something different and don't quit.
    I don't have to list the advantages of Job. @Amulet has explained it nicely plus your post itself highlights it. "Financial constraint"..
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  7. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    "overall want to be stress free" .."my hubby is working which is not that much enough"----> these things don't go together. If there is not enough money, the stress will build up. You can give up your job if you have lot of money in your own account or a husband who give you his credit card or account number and allow you to spend without asking for clarifications. If not, it will be suffocating.

    I feel you are so tired due to all these work in home, office, kids... You need a break..your body and mind needs rest...What about taking a short leave or going for a vacation. Charge yourself...go back to work with a fresh mind ... With proper planing you can utilize time in a fruitful way.

    A few years back, I have felt like going for pilgrimage giving up everything.. I was not sure why ... I want to wander everywhere like a beggar or go to Himalayas.. ..Its was my mom who finally removed my brain fog..:grinning: ...I was so stressed, tired(two small kids, work, home), and my body was weak. My job needs lot of concentration and creativity. I was not able to do that...I have stayed away from everything for 4 months (medical leave), I felt like living in another planet.. Anyway, I was so happy to return to work and on normal schedules..

    This will also pass OP. So try to enjoy a break and go back to job.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  8. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

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    You nailed it!
     
  9. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Gold IL'ite

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    OP,
    do you have one kid or two? And how old?
     
  10. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Rejoining work is the best decision ever I have taken.

    Before that I felt I lost connection from outside world.
    I enjoyed stress free life when I was at home.
    Due to my visa I was not allowed to work initially.
    But I got bored of it. Meanwhile I joined some course so I was occupied with it most of the time. After that I am back to work and I feel so better.

    I would say quitting permanently may not be helpful. If you are very stressed take a break and join some less stressful job.
     

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