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Sometimes, We Just Have To Believe!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Srama, Jun 10, 2018.

  1. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    I wake up with tears in my eyes. What an emotional day it was but what a relief as well to have that dream! Finally it feels like I have found a solution and now all I need to do is hang on to that feeling of "This is where I want to be"...for the rest of my life. Instinctively I send a prayer up. I know there are many that are wishing me well. Up there. With that sense intact, I walk out to the patio and my smile widens. It must have rained as I was busy sleeping and dreaming and clearing my thoughts. The dampness on the patio, the cool almost there summer weather, the bright sun yet oh so gentle sun of the morning, that cup of coffee in my hands add to my sense of peace I seem to have found. As I settle down on the swing, I notice that my little jasmine plant has may be some 10 flowers. I am delighted. Don't laugh at me! That joy for just 10 flowers? The plant knows our journey. Being where we are and the circumstances we go through, 10 flowers is a lot, sometimes! Just this spring I think the weather is all good, the plant as if nodding in agreement begins to sprout new branches and I happily bring her out to the patio and boom the gods above decide it is time to play a cruel joke and the frost shows up. Both the plant and I bow down in submission and wait for better times.
    IMG_20180610_082130.jpg
    These flowers are what we were both waiting for. I pluck all the flowers very gently, almost like wanting to thank the plant. I put the flowers down in a plate and with delight make my DH smell my palm that had held the flowers! Ah the delightful smell of jasmine! Both of us agree.

    For some reason, the dog refuses to come to the back yard. Okay, I know the reason but will not go there. So I look at his pleading eyes through the screen and decide to take to the front yard. He is happy, you can see it in his little puppy prances. We both settle down, he on the grass and me on the front step. I am still sipping my coffee, enjoying the very loud chirping of birds, is it the silence around me or is it just me I wonder that makes the sound so clear and notice that the Saturday news paper is lying all the way down there on the drive way. i walk down and bring it with me and open it to actually read it. I realize it has been so long since I have done that. The paper is free (with community news), the usual routine is to pick it up and walk straight to the recycle bin! I am not sure when and how I got into that habit. But today is different. After all I had woken up with tears in my eyes. The first image I see that of an acquaintance I have known for a long long time. I feel maybe I was meant to open the paper to read about him. He has won an award from the local community. I am so happy for him. It is true joy. There are some people whose mere presence can make a difference. He is one of those people. I turn the pages and read a column about some cats and dogs and squirrels and realize that it was meant just for me. Now I wonder again as to why I had stopped reading that paper anymore.

    I notice that the dog has walked towards our garage. I know the reason. Only recently we found out that a sparrow had decided to build its nest in the garage. Don't ask me what's the big deal? The big deal is the spot it has picked to build its nest. As usual on one of my roller coaster days, I remember that it is the trash collection day. I go to the garage to bring the trash bags and just as I get to the box, I am mortified! There is a birds' nest! My first reaction is joy! I am not sure why these things make me want to dance so much. The next reaction was 'stupid, stupid, stupid'! How stupid can this bird be!
    IMG_20180605_071953.jpg
    It has chosen to build a nest in a heavy traffic area - we go back and forth this spot, like twenty times a day. Then I feel, may be the bird has abandoned the idea but decide anyways not to disturb the nest. And then just yesterday, as I walk by, I notice a bird fly past me form the box startling me. The dog has seen it and so have we. Now we are all careful as we walk by and my daughter with conviction in her voice tries to make me understand that it is through my open garage door that she has seen this bird fly in and out. She looks at me says "mom, truth!". She is happy to have found an answer to my question "how the heck did this bird get into our garage and found that spot?" I realize, after all the bird was not that stupid and I just had to believe! It might have planned all along and known about the softees in this household including the dog!

    I come back to the front porch with the dog, collect all the pages, head back into the back yard and just as I open the door, I hear plop. I feel 'dang it! I missed it again' I know there is a frog that has made its home in our pond and every time it hears us, it goes into hiding. And then I realize I don't have to see it. I know it is there and all I have to do is believe it, just like the figure who assured me the same in my dream! I have to hang on to this feeling! I just have to believe it!!
     
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  2. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    May your dreams keep bringing you peace and joy Sabitha! Mine do too but by not being real! :grinning: They always leave me behind with an inexpressible relief that all those unnamed fears and anxieties that I battled through the night were phantoms of my overactive imagination, that the world outside is sunnier, happier and brighter than the world within! Like you I can't see it but I believe, not in the figures in my dreams, but in the confident optimism on the faces that surround me. Even on days when it becomes hard to muster faith, in their belief, I find mine.

    On a lighter note, my doggy is not a fan of yard fauna, be it birds, squirrels or frogs. She is their nemesis. These days I rarely hear the ribbit-ribbit that echoed through the yard on warm, wet evenings. She tried biting the bees but quickly abandoned that quest! : )
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2018
  3. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

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    True ! It is the case with everyone ! The world inside torments us more , than the one outside.
     
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  4. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Your article was so soothing to read @Srama
    I had been through a very traumatic few months and nothing could have given me the strength than the belief the world around gave me.
    The experience, bitter as it was and one that no one in the world should go through, was in many ways a good one. I am now a stronger believer that "good" will always persevere and that some force (we can call it God) takes us all through the motions of life as a part of learning curve.

    Life, and the world around us, is the best teacher and a good leveler.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2018
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  5. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Gauri,

    Thank you for your lovely feedback. We all have ways to deal with our irrational fears I guess. For me whatever I go through gets to be so intense that unless I work out internally, I struggle. Being centered has become so important that I have begin to notice that it affects my immediate family tremendously!
    This is exactly what I was trying to work through. You get it.

    This should be on a joyous note :) Have your ever mentioned your pup's name? I can't recall. I am told that's their nature - all the fauna should be her(?) nemesis. Right order of things.
    I have always been told by my vet that my toby is kind of an anxious puppy and when friends visit, they are surprised at the seemingly mutually appreciative world the animals in my yard live in - Toby watches the rabbits and now the growing family, the frogs, the birds, just yesterday DH was commenting how fearless that sparrow was which almost stepped into the house and I am usually prodding "Toby, go get it. get it" and he looks at me with those eyes and all I read is "Are you nuts?" or perhaps he knows the joy I get seeing these little fellas in the yard and so he chooses to let them be. He may be wiser than I am or I know. Who knows?
     
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  6. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    You are right :)
     
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  7. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Oh my! Dear Kamala,

    i am so sorry to hear! I did miss you, a lot in fact here and just assumed you might have been busy. I am glad to hear that things have settled down and you are your usual self.

    You are absolutely right when you say this Kamala and just yesterday I was reading an article about people from Iceland (I do have a soft corner towards this country and it's peoples :)) and the word "þetta reddast" (pronounced thet-ta red-ust) meaning ‘it’ll all work out in the end’ (Entire article here - The unexpected philosophy Icelanders live by). We just have to have believe and usually like many things in life, it is only in retrospect we realize that, not when we are going through that. Like you say, it is all a part of a learning curve. And some like me take to the world around to see the absurdity and make peace.
    To be honest, I did not even bother to read what I wrote twice! Just felt like writing :) and I am happy to hear this from you!

    Thank you for your words Kamala. I am truly happy to see you back.
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:Reading this jotting given me a kind of tranquil. Sometime we hear in dream but do we carefully listen to it? But we don’t see colour. Yet you dreamt some one assured and Nature had set out the serene Sylvan scenes that give raise to soft and tender emotion with kindness. Yes it is a plop. I heard it here. And so I believe!
    Thanks for your thread which reminded me of Thomas Hardy novel tress of the de’ urberville where he describes the surrounding to match the mood of the characters.
    Regards.
    God Bless.
     
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  9. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you @Thyagarajan for your warm feed back.
    it is strange that you speak of dreams in color or not being in color. My students were talking about it recently . I had never ever thought of that! Many of my friends are surprised at how detailed my dreams are when I remember them. I know I forget a lot of them but the ones that matter I seem to remember like seeing my parents etc in dreams. I rarely discuss what bothers me and most of the times it is ruminations and I think that is what leads to the dreams at least I think. But you are right, because of the dream I woke up with serene feelings and hence I could see the serenity around me. I do love observing the world around me, world as in the natural world and I am glad I can put it down here and very grateful to get all of your feedbacks. Thank you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  10. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you Sabs.
    Through your response you have comforted me again.

    Yes, combined with health issues, mine and my hubby's, it was a difficult time for me. I had wanted to write a good article based on the immense information from Cassini on Saturn. But I just could not. It turned out to be a shoddy piece of work.

    Absolutely true.
    ...on the spot, again.

    For me, what really helped was we had been following Ramanujacharya's life lately, and through his teachings and his philosophy, had come to the conclusion that nothing is in our hands.
    Also what aided me was the song Bhaja Govindam by Adi Sankaracharya and the philosophy behind that that lovely composition.

    We think we are doing this and that, but actually we are only the tools. Nowadays we just prayed for mental strength and proper guidance so that we remove the "I" from our actions.

    Thanks Sabs. Happy to be back as well.
     
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