I wake up with tears in my eyes. What an emotional day it was but what a relief as well to have that dream! Finally it feels like I have found a solution and now all I need to do is hang on to that feeling of "This is where I want to be"...for the rest of my life. Instinctively I send a prayer up. I know there are many that are wishing me well. Up there. With that sense intact, I walk out to the patio and my smile widens. It must have rained as I was busy sleeping and dreaming and clearing my thoughts. The dampness on the patio, the cool almost there summer weather, the bright sun yet oh so gentle sun of the morning, that cup of coffee in my hands add to my sense of peace I seem to have found. As I settle down on the swing, I notice that my little jasmine plant has may be some 10 flowers. I am delighted. Don't laugh at me! That joy for just 10 flowers? The plant knows our journey. Being where we are and the circumstances we go through, 10 flowers is a lot, sometimes! Just this spring I think the weather is all good, the plant as if nodding in agreement begins to sprout new branches and I happily bring her out to the patio and boom the gods above decide it is time to play a cruel joke and the frost shows up. Both the plant and I bow down in submission and wait for better times. These flowers are what we were both waiting for. I pluck all the flowers very gently, almost like wanting to thank the plant. I put the flowers down in a plate and with delight make my DH smell my palm that had held the flowers! Ah the delightful smell of jasmine! Both of us agree. For some reason, the dog refuses to come to the back yard. Okay, I know the reason but will not go there. So I look at his pleading eyes through the screen and decide to take to the front yard. He is happy, you can see it in his little puppy prances. We both settle down, he on the grass and me on the front step. I am still sipping my coffee, enjoying the very loud chirping of birds, is it the silence around me or is it just me I wonder that makes the sound so clear and notice that the Saturday news paper is lying all the way down there on the drive way. i walk down and bring it with me and open it to actually read it. I realize it has been so long since I have done that. The paper is free (with community news), the usual routine is to pick it up and walk straight to the recycle bin! I am not sure when and how I got into that habit. But today is different. After all I had woken up with tears in my eyes. The first image I see that of an acquaintance I have known for a long long time. I feel maybe I was meant to open the paper to read about him. He has won an award from the local community. I am so happy for him. It is true joy. There are some people whose mere presence can make a difference. He is one of those people. I turn the pages and read a column about some cats and dogs and squirrels and realize that it was meant just for me. Now I wonder again as to why I had stopped reading that paper anymore. I notice that the dog has walked towards our garage. I know the reason. Only recently we found out that a sparrow had decided to build its nest in the garage. Don't ask me what's the big deal? The big deal is the spot it has picked to build its nest. As usual on one of my roller coaster days, I remember that it is the trash collection day. I go to the garage to bring the trash bags and just as I get to the box, I am mortified! There is a birds' nest! My first reaction is joy! I am not sure why these things make me want to dance so much. The next reaction was 'stupid, stupid, stupid'! How stupid can this bird be! It has chosen to build a nest in a heavy traffic area - we go back and forth this spot, like twenty times a day. Then I feel, may be the bird has abandoned the idea but decide anyways not to disturb the nest. And then just yesterday, as I walk by, I notice a bird fly past me form the box startling me. The dog has seen it and so have we. Now we are all careful as we walk by and my daughter with conviction in her voice tries to make me understand that it is through my open garage door that she has seen this bird fly in and out. She looks at me says "mom, truth!". She is happy to have found an answer to my question "how the heck did this bird get into our garage and found that spot?" I realize, after all the bird was not that stupid and I just had to believe! It might have planned all along and known about the softees in this household including the dog! I come back to the front porch with the dog, collect all the pages, head back into the back yard and just as I open the door, I hear plop. I feel 'dang it! I missed it again' I know there is a frog that has made its home in our pond and every time it hears us, it goes into hiding. And then I realize I don't have to see it. I know it is there and all I have to do is believe it, just like the figure who assured me the same in my dream! I have to hang on to this feeling! I just have to believe it!!