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Social Isolation In Usa

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by delmed, Nov 20, 2016.

  1. delmed

    delmed Junior IL'ite

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    Hello friends,
    Living as a nuclear family is USA without parents and relatives has been tough for us.
    I often feel lonely and isolated.
    Wanted to know the experience of others, especially how they felt when they returned to India after many years of staying abroad. Was this factor removed after the returned home to India?
    Waiting to hear more.
     
    anika987 likes this.
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yours is a very very common problem in USA.If you are working or have a big group of friends or live in an Indian community it is very good.

    I don't have any close friends,am a SAHM,I hardly have a social life coz it is tough to have relationships naturally..even if you gel with someone..BAM!! One fine day they pack up their bags and leave to India or
    Move to another state..

    Just today morning I told my husband I wanna move back to India and will give up the good life here and will adjust to whatever we will get in our home country..He said he will not leave America and will be here only coz of his job and other reasons.

    So after 13 years I have accepted that I will be here forever and will live with this quietness and loneliness..strangely after the "acceptance" I feel ok.

    As for return to India go to r2i club forums..

    Main thing after returning to India is you should be ready to adapt to our country and the life there again.After staying here for some years,some things might have changed about you and you should be ready to go back to square one!
     
    penpaal, coolgal123, SGBV and 2 others like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    How long are you in USA?
     
  4. aspha

    aspha Gold IL'ite

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    Ditto like @anika987 . Being in this country for 8.5 years first 1 or 2 years were very depressing. But soon realized what I wanted to do. My DH and I both are now very active in cultural/social crowd in our state.
    Had been to India 3-4 times in last 8 years and to be honest, I really like it here more than in India. I like the peaceful and somewhat laid-back lifestyle here. I cannot handle all the hustle and bustle and nosey relatives/neighbors anymore and get bored in India pretty quickly compared to here.
     
  5. Mashup

    Mashup New IL'ite

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    My friends who returned from US to India very recently are now staying in Bangalore. They have teenagers and they are thinking to start business. I'm sure they are going thru lots of changes in everything and trying to get accustomed to the traffic and people around them. They seem happy outwardly but I don't no how there kids or my friends feeling internally. They saved good money hopefully by gods blessings they will survive very well in Bangalore.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  6. Jazmine83

    Jazmine83 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Op,

    Even if you have many friends you can still face this issue.

    For me, its not loneliness but homesick. I have really really good friends here, we hangout few times a week, weekends etc. Friends I can call & ask them to cook for me, friends who really care for me.I have a spouse who loves to talk and is fun to be with. Inspite of all this I still feel a void..because home is always home and I come from a large family with many siblings. Some of them have kids. I miss them so much.

    It is a very confusing feeling. I feel settled here as well but at the same time i want to go back. If my family moves here or even just few of my siblings..I will be so happy. Lets see
     
    hermitcrab, smriths and anika987 like this.
  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Another thing is I want to go back to "chennai" my hometown.I don't think I can be happy even in the next state as chennai is home for me.I can't say I want to go back for relatives as sadly many of my relatives are splattered all over USA and other countries.Only one cousin lives there
     
  8. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Home sickness is one thing, and fighting the loneliness in abroad is something else. Know your problem better.

    When I was living in abroad, I had all the luxuries, good job, great friends, parties and fun filled life. But I still missed home so badly.
    I missed my parents, siblings, and the place where I lived for so long.
    It felt extremely safe, happy, and satisfied the moment you step in your home land. This is home sickness.
    I would not feel the same if my home or my family is not living in the home country. Because the same home and the city may seem empty if the loved ones are not there.

    There are days I could relate with you about feeling lonely in the new country. That also pushes you to return home.
    When I was in Austria, I hardly have any friends. No people from my community to mingle with. After the work, I will be totally lonely. There were so much time, and I absolutely have nothing to do.
    My H was not with me then, so the loneliness killed. It wasn't easy to make friendship there, as no one seemed connected with me then.
     
  9. sammygirl723

    sammygirl723 Bronze IL'ite

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    This happens to me when we were living in London. We did not have any family or friends. As long as I had a job, it was fine but when we decided to move to India, I left the job and it was very lonely. The only way to solve this problem is to join a local Indian group like marwari or punjabi or agarwal samaj type of thing. Atleast you wont be alone on festivals and might even click with some friends.
     
    coolgal123 likes this.
  10. delmed

    delmed Junior IL'ite

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    Thank you all for your responses. Its comforting to hear other peoples point of views.
     

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