" We can kill and eat her now, or we can let her live, and she'll feed us for the next fifteen years" [NewYorker Oct 1, 2018]
Wife is an LIC employee. She went to a portrait painter to get her painting done. She asked him to add a Nine lakh worth of Necklace to her neck on the portrait (though she was not wearing it). The painter asked why she wanted it in her picture. She replied, "If I die, My husband will marry again. The new wife will see this picture and will search for this necklace. They both will fight and that's when my soul will find real peace" This is called "Zindagi ke saath bhi, Zindagi ke baad bhi - Jeevan Anand policy
Nurse : Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible" Doctor : "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."