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SILs/DILs of different kinds

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Gaur78, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. Gaur78

    Gaur78 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: SILs of different kinds

    Dear Rissy,

    I agree with you and I get your point. I'm not talking about that all the SILs/DILs are monsters and all the MILs/FILs are sympathy creator or monsters.

    If the DIL don't want to stay with her PILs, why not let her make her move and lead a happy life. Why she should stay with her PIL and torture them for the sake of property? I'm only talking about those monsters who tortures their PIL.

    In many a case, no mil would come to a public forum to share about her DIL troubles. she would dump everything in her heart fearing of the society and many aren't educated like today's mom.
     
  2. Gaur78

    Gaur78 Gold IL'ite

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    Rissy,

    I do know a MIL who interfered so much in her son's life and spoiled my friend's married life. His son couldn't take decision on his own. For everything, he will call his mom but he'll not utter a word to his wife or talk to her parents. But he want her property. He made her sell the land given to her as dowry. And to top this, he gave the money to his dad !

    During her pregnancy, he didn't spend any money for her medicine. Everything her mom did !. When I asked her, why she should stay in this loveless life. She said, she has fear on this society, the name it would give to her.

    Now her mil don't talk with her but she takes the kid to her daughter's home. My friend didn't raise her voice. She said, 'what else they would get on earth than spending time with their grandkids'.

    There are monster MIL like my friend's MIL and good SIL/DIL like my friend.
     
  3. rissy

    rissy Silver IL'ite

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    Why she remain silent during bridal selection - well I have posted about it in one other thread

    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/m...rce-rate-increasing-india-10.html#post2103995

    And sometimes, the girl isn't aware about joint family troubles, she assumes that I will able to adjust, the things don't turn out as expected, sometimes due to high social pressures, she can't express her desires for nuclear family, sometimes its like 'something is better than nothing', getting married in joint family is better than remaining single, it mainly comes because she try to find a guy living in nuclear family, but can't and as I said most of guys stay with their parents in our country, hence the girl is forced to select one of those
     
  4. rissy

    rissy Silver IL'ite

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    The day when nuclear family becomes socially accepted norm in our country and majority of population become open to nuclear famlies, and dil who wants a nuclear family is not seen upon as family breaker and spoiled brat, & help can be expected from both son and daughters and both son & daughters are treated equal when it comes to rights and responsibility, then all this social problems & mil-sil-dil drama would be easily solved
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: What is wrong in wanting a nuclear family?

    Wow, Rissy. That's lot of material to read. Thanks for sharing. These are interesting articles and there are some points worth discussing there. I just finished reading one. I would suggest you start separate threads to discuss each one of those, so that this thread does not get diverted and unnecessarily extended. Discussing too many issues in one thread makes it confusing and heavy.
     
  6. rayana16

    rayana16 Bronze IL'ite

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    No doubt friends
    Sil's/ dil's / mil's are of different types.....
    I give u my example

    I have two sil's
    both are elder to me and my dh
    almost 8 to 10 yrs age difference.

    Eldest one is gem of a person, she is very supportive nice and caring. She doent have habit of taunting.
    She gives more love n respect than given by us.She stays near our house only, 15 mins walking.


    Middle sibling of my dh that is 2nd eledst sil , she stays with us.........
    she is also married and staying with us since i got married..... she had also stayed for 2 long years some 5 yrs back, as her husband gt transfered to delhi , and my dh's mom also expired and silw as pregnant also.that time me n my dh were nt married.

    This sil has made my dh gossip aunt, tokin abt who gave what in dowry how much , whose wife is beautiful and all crab.........................

    then they got transfered to another city....

    after 3 yrs husband gt transfered to hilly northern india region---------------my sil said she wud nt stay there as its very chilly n cold, so she decided to stay here with us......................leaving her husband alone in that place...............


    she went to that place with husband thrice in year for a weeks time when her doter used to get off from school.


    she is a nice lady but she has habit of ruling and i sometimes feel she can be insecure of her brother being maried to me shud nt be mine completely.



    She cooks food good and my husband also asks her to make food for him,,,, but i am also better cook now --i cook for dinner n she cooks for lunch on weekdays...

    But seeing my husband olwaz giving attention to his sis sis's huband only.....
    sil's huabnd is being tranfered again to our city thus staying with us from past 2 months....

    My dh olwaz ask her husband if he wants to have soemthng from outside o his sis,, he didnt ask me at all.....

    My dh leaves for office at 1130 am and i leave at 0745 so from 8 to 11 he is with his sis and after he comes frm office around 0930, i come home at 0700,he sits with his sis only n her husband ,from 0930 to 1045 /1100
    then after that comes in the room watches tv , i say to tok to me dnt watch tv
    we tok for 10 mins som,etimes dnt e1 that n i sleep n he keps watchng tv or sleeps............
    my dh loves me i knw but he shud understand that he has to spend life with me in future,

    I DNT LIKE MY THIS SIL BECAUSE SHE OLWAZ TELLS M DH TO LOOK AT OTHER GIRLS WHO WUD BE TALL SLIM FAIR..
    I really wish the same shud happen with her............
    hw wud she feel if her sil or mil tells her husband to look at other girls who are tall slim fair and smart , or same thing happns with her doter..............................

    she is master of house she thinks and my fil also thinks same
    n so my dh
    as my fil dont take ny decision without her apprioval.

    dont knw y she doesnt go to her inlaws house i have nt seen her going there once not e1 her husband...

    she doesnt like her inlaws at alll......................................

    i feel pity also on her that she tks care of our house as me my dh n fil working but she on the othr hand also make my room dirty by watching tv there n hvng lunch without cleaning the bedsheet.......................................


    I TINK MY HSUBAND REGRETS OF MARRYIGN ME AS HE CUD GET TALL GIRL ................................
     
  7. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: SILs of different kinds

    well i don't say that people are not materiallistic but yes the degree of being materialistic do changes with relationships.and also things do change with people.may be the kind of people you have met are of this type but if i see myself if my brother needs me i will do anything to help him and so is my husband in terms of helping his sisters.so i will take it not as a generalisation but it totally depends on the individual person.
     

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