1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Silly problems causing serious tension

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Sparkle, Jan 9, 2015.

  1. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,006
    Likes Received:
    1,750
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,

    I need help with the problems I am facing in the apartment we are living in.

    First off, none of my neighbors are friendly. Even when I tried making friends when we moved in (its been 2 years since we moved in), no one would stop to make small talk. The only communication we (me&hubby) have since then is when we have to settle maintenance bills and other bills common for the apartment every month with our secretary. Basically we just keep to ourselves.

    These are the main problems we are facing:
    1.
    We are paying around 30K every month for rent plus extra amount for all other expenses from time to time. But what was promised and what we get back for that is very less. The main issue is caused by the watchman and his family. They have been using our parking space like its some sort of trash area. They tie mosquito nets on our car and sleep right next to our car. Initially when this happened, I did not say a word since I felt bad for them cause they have only a small room to live in which will not be sufficient for them. But now they have taken up almost our entire parking space. I mentioned this to the secretary and also to the watchman and his family directly, but no action is taken.

    They also use a table fan just next to our car - which is actually quite dangerous since overheating can cause severe issues to the cars in the parking space. How do I deal with this??

    2.
    The milk packets delivered at my house are getting stolen. Just in this month we have lost 8 packets. Every house in our block gets milk delivered from the same delivery person, but others don't seem to have this issue.
    This is again done by the watchman and his family but so far I have not caught them in action. The main trigger for this thread is what happened today. Usually I take the milk packets (we buy 3 packs) from the bag (hangs all the time in our gate) at 6:30 am as soon as the delivery person drops it. Today as usual at 6:30 I checked the bag and it was empty. So I finished off some regular chores and checked the bag at 7:15 am and found only one packet. We already lost 8 packets and since I am not able to do anything, I was really pissed. Immediately I called the delivery person and he mentioned that the packets were delivered at 7 am.
    Even he visited my home once again to figure out who is stealing the packets. But we couldn't come to a solid conclusion to stop this problem.
    (For now I have asked the delivery guy to ring my doorbell so I can take the packets as soon as they are delivered. But I guess this wont stop the stealing.) Any ideas to stop this will help me a a lot.

    3.
    At noon I leave my home to pick my LO from his playschool which is just two buildings away. When I go downstairs, everyday I see the watchman's wife speaking with random guys. The watchman who is actually supposed to be at the apartment works somewhere else and comes back only by night. These guys will roam around shirtless almost every day at noon and they stare at me. I feel extremely creepy and uncomfortable about this. Moreover she will lie down all through the day without doing a single work she is supposed to do (work like cleaning the apartment, cars, keeping a watch on the apartment etc is allotted to her and her family). Even if I ask her to open the gate for me/ when we are taking our car out - which she is supposed to do for all - she would give back and refuse to do so.
    They act nice with the secretary since he pays them the salary. (Fact is that the salary for those people is paid as maintenance by all residents of the apartment).
    I cannot change my timing since I have to pick my kid from school only at noon. And when we I come back with my kid as well they stare at him and me very weirdly. I am usually very vocal about dealing with any issues, but I am helpless now since I am scared for my LO.
    If I speak about this to any of the other residents, I usually get responses like "I have never seen them?" or "They never stare at me. Why?" (How would I know why they don't stare at someone else BTW??? ).

    I have given so much food, money, clothes, utensils etc, to that entire family. But they need more and more all the time. They are never satisfied. Now they have started stealing from me which is more annoying, because if they asked me I would have given them.

    These incidents have been happening for a while now and now it has become a huge issue for me. Every morning I wake up tensed, wondering if the milk is stolen or not. Every noon when I go out, I pray a 100 times that no one should be downstairs. (Silly, but true). It spoils my mood to the core and upsets me a lot. Even if I want to leave for a vacation I am tensed that something might happen in our absence.
    So how do I stop all these?

    I also have a feeling that since we are in a rented apartment, people are taking us for granted. Can this be true? Do we have to own an apartment to gain respect from our neighbors and caretakers?

    Thanks in advance from your responses!
     
    Loading...

  2. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    763
    Likes Received:
    1,276
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Have you complained to the owner? As a tenant, you do not need to take the problem-solving upon yourself. Tell your owner that if he/she does not take the steps to resolve such issues you will move out.

    Also you can have your husband talk sternly to the watchman/other guys.

    BTW are you particular about staying in this complex or can you shift out?
     
    2 people like this.
  3. vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    547
    Likes Received:
    522
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Complain to the owner, tell him/her this issues tell him though the house is good, everything else is good, you would be forced to leave the place only becoz of the watchman and family
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,663
    Likes Received:
    23,148
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    1)Find people with similar interests.These days people really don't have time for each other.
    2)Regarding milk packets. Ask the delivery guy to ring the bell and deliver it to you. If that is not possible...get a cheap spy camera (you can order on line)installed to catch the thief red handed.Today it is milk ...tomorrow it could be something more.Worth the money spent.Besides...you can't really accuse someone without proof.

    3)Regarding rest of the issues....contact the society office and your land lord.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. Sparkle

    Sparkle Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,006
    Likes Received:
    1,750
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    @sheztheone, @vini31 & @yellowmango:
    Thank you very much for your responses!

    Yes, we (me & hubby) have spoken to the owner several times about these problems. But, he stays at a different part of the city and only visits us when needed. And when he does, the other owners and the watchman create a picture as if things are fine.

    I like the area and the apartment as such because LO's playschool is very easily accessible. Moving out of this place would be a difficult change for my LO as well as me because of the playschool.

    About the milk packets, I asked the delivery guy to ring our doorbell as mentioned by @
    yellowmango. I tried the spycam idea, but most cameras are hard to install and I have to discuss with the owner for fitting the same in the house (since its his property and will take some time). For now, as soon as the delivery guy drops the milk packets am taking them.

    By April, we have decided to leave the house+area in case the problems persist. We have put forth these issues again to our owner and waiting for some change.
     
    2 people like this.
  6. ramyav_cse

    ramyav_cse Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    828
    Likes Received:
    179
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    Find a different apartment to live in. Thank God you dont own the apartment.
     
    3 people like this.
  7. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,139
    Likes Received:
    3,938
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Somehow in the milk issue I doubt the milkman himself I dont know why.

    since your complaints are met with disbelief your only course of action is to document. Dont say anything to anyone and go about your daily business. Do you have a good camera in your phone? when confronted with some of these undesirable sights, like state of your parking area, shirtless guys unobtrusively click a pic. Always keep your phone in hand as though you are answering a text or just finished attending a call next few days every time you go down. Whenever see a sight worth complaining snap a pic. Make sure date and time are enabled on each of the pics. You may have to practice how to do it unobtrusively in private a few times. And a few videos of the watchman's wife's behavior with the gate, ignoring you etc would not go amiss. Do not deliver empty threats and warn them in advance like I am going to tape you etc. just be quiet, make the tapes and pics and show them at the next building meeting in front of all. keep the camera running one day when you call the watchman's wife to do something and tape her ignoring you.

    All said and done, you cannot discount the possibility that the owner is well aware and refuses to admit there is an issue for his own reasons. Sometimes there are none so blind as those who refuse to see. It is good you have given notice already. You dont need this kind of problems for the amt of money you are paying in rent. The pics and video may not fix your present problem but will at least help you get out of the contract with the owner since you would have proof of the reasons why you want to vacate.
     
    2 people like this.
  8. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,747
    Likes Received:
    1,710
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Next time give the complaint to owner in writing and keep a copy . So if you have to leave abruptly it will help with any issues.

    if you feel,something is not right , leave the place . They might be targeting you as you are new and a tenant and not owner .
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. radhaparth2000

    radhaparth2000 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,674
    Likes Received:
    654
    Trophy Points:
    233
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Sparkle, Looks like you have conveyed these to the society and owner but no action. I wonder how someone can even refuse to open the gate when you take your car out, that's the most easiest and important chore if a watchman!! Being a native of Chennai and I own few apartments there. Believe me Chennai has huge inventory but number of ppl to take an apartment for rent is very less, that too if the rent is 30k its really hard to find a tenant. Take these things very seriously with the owner and tell him upfront if these issues are not sorted you will vacate the apartment. It's his duty to sort these things for you if your dialogue with society is futile. This will work like magic!! I have a 2 bhk in heart of the city and it took 2,months for us to find a tenant as the rent was 15k!! 30k is a huge amount and finding a tenant for this rent is close to impossible. Worst case scenario you can find a better apartment near by for the same amount!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    745
    Likes Received:
    666
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Sparkle.

    This fight is not worth it. If it is your own home, I would have asked you to do everything possible to vacate this family. But since it is not so, it is better to move out after the school year is over.

    Regards,
    JM
     
    2 people like this.

Share This Page