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SIL Visit for first time- How much cash to give ?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Goahead, Sep 10, 2014.

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  1. Sep 10, 2014 #1
    Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    my sil is visiting us for the first time and my husband wants to give her cash instead of gifts. How much is reasonable in dollars? He's thinking $500-700. I think this is too much . please share your thoughts . Am i overreacting ?
     
    Goahead, Sep 10, 2014
    Goahead, Sep 10, 2014
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  2. Sep 10, 2014 #2
    peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Depends on what you can afford!!! Even 0 is reasonable....
     
    peartree, Sep 10, 2014
    peartree, Sep 10, 2014
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  3. Sep 10, 2014 #3
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    It depends on how much you can afford and also how often she will be visiting.Will you be expected to gift every time....or the first time is a big thing.
     
    yellowmango, Sep 10, 2014
    yellowmango, Sep 10, 2014
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  4. Sep 10, 2014 #4
    Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    i havent talked to him if its going to be everytime thing, but i guess the way my husband is - it would be close.

    For my sister I have always bought 30-40 dollars of gifts even when she gifts so much to as well .
     
    Goahead, Sep 10, 2014
    Goahead, Sep 10, 2014
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  5. Sep 10, 2014 #5
    Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    Depends on howz your relationship and definitely how much you can afford.

    I would not suggest you to give amount which you feel as burden (like I guess you are not comfortable). On another way, instead of giving cash you can go to any mall and get some thing of her choice.
     
    Priya4oct, Sep 10, 2014
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  6. Sep 10, 2014 #6
    Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    thats what I wanted to do..may be spend 100-200 dollars max, but my husband blew my mind by saying he wants to give 500-700...
    whn it comes to affordability - i dnt go out and buy myself a 150-200 dollar designr purse though i can afford to. So why shall i gift someone 500 -700 when i would not spend that mch on my luxuries ever...

    i'm so fed up of my husband giving money to inlaws and now sister for no reason all the time.and its always a lot of money ...
     
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2014
    Goahead, Sep 10, 2014
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  7. Sep 10, 2014 #7
    sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    I did not know you had to gift anything to your family members for just visiting. Gifts come from heart but all these expectations of give and take just causes resentment. Why even do it??? Is she financially in dire straits? If not, give the $200 you feel comfortable to a charity of your choice.
     
    sdiva20, Sep 10, 2014
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  8. Sep 10, 2014 #8
    peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    The OP is mentioning that the SIL is visiting for the first time (after marriage, perhaps?) and isn't it a general practice in Indian culture to gift something to someone visiting for the first time? (I understand that traditions and culture be damned for some of us... but not everyone out there has reached the enlightenment yet... I think)

    When I visited my elder sister and SIL for the first time after I had my child, the child got some $500 from each aunt which we have in a bank account for her! So it's quite common, I would think.
     
    peartree, Sep 10, 2014
    peartree, Sep 10, 2014
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  9. Sep 10, 2014 #9
    nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    OP- IMO, she is your husband's sister so let him decide. I've been away from home for almost a decade and every single time I visit, I buy presents for my family and send presents when my parents visit me. It is natural to do something special for siblings.
    I am going to Australia for a conference later this year and will be flying to another part of the country to visit my nephew. He is a student there so I already told my husband that I'd like to give my nephew some cash ($500 to be exact) and of course will take him out for meals and stuff while I am there. We can afford it and my DH is fine with it. I don't know about your SIL but if she is non-working, she might like little extra cash that she can spend on herself. I always did when I was in college and my older sisters gave me Rs 100-200.
     
    nuss, Sep 10, 2014
    nuss, Sep 10, 2014
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  10. Sep 10, 2014 #10
    Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    It is comming from her husbands heart... I feel these things can be still explained as long as it is mutual. Otherwise it actually looting.
     
    Roar, Sep 10, 2014
    Roar, Sep 10, 2014
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