SIL and clothes :-) !

Reflection123 · Feb 21, 2012

This is a really funny problem. I have a SIL who is very fond of borrowing and exchanging clothes! Earlier she asked for 1 or 2 of my dresses and it was ok, because we were living in different countries..and I met her once in a year and she didn't get to see much of my wardrobe, and also giving away 1/2 dresses doesn't sound too bad to me . Now she is coming to live close by and atleast 5 times she has declared that she loved the dresses I wore in my pics, and how she can't wait to now frequently come to my place (like once every 2/3 months), and then she'd be frequently able to grab my wardrobe and exchange/take away some dresses!!:bonk.....I pretended to grin and say "Sure sweetheart..you're sooo welcome" (because my in-laws and DH were around, and she was their "little baby" who would get everything she asked for...I didn't want to look like a mean bitch in front of them)....They might find it endearing and sweet....and my DH says I should be happy that someone likes my clothes so much that she wants them for herself..!..(NOOOOOOOOOO!!!):spin

Actually I LOVE my stuff and would not give it away, neither do I like to exchange my clothes with anyone !! I am trying to figure out ways to tell her to stay away from my stuff.......HEEEEELP !!:drowning

wannabmommy · Feb 22, 2012

To be honest your post did bring a little smile on me But yes definately this is an awkward situation & difficult to tackle.

This is what I can think of regd this: May be you can keep reiterating ( ofcourse indirectly) to your SIL how much you hate exchanging clothes & parting with them . Also if at all you can find out which ones she is eying on to grab you can tell her its in laundry/you yourself are looking for it etc. If this happens frequently she might get the message (hopefully!!).

This is what I can think of at present...let's see what others have to say...:thumbsup

tanoshii · Feb 22, 2012

Well. It did bring a smile to my face too, cos I have had a similar problem. Young SIL or young sis/cousin..name it. Even I have done it, especially with my mom..lol With her it was never borrowing. I always flicked it for good.

But I prefer being straight about these things. Cos my mom showed me how to..lol
Tell her you find it awkward to share your clothes like that. But offer to go shopping with her the next time and suggest you'd like to help her out to create a wardrobe as good or better than yours. Its easier that way. Unless she is told about it, I can't see a how she'd ever know or understand it.

Subhaganesh · Feb 22, 2012

:biglaugh

it happened between me and last MIL(MIL last sister she is just 35 years old now):bonk:bonk 10 years elder to me..but still she always wants my cloth....
that too i left all my dresses in india , she wore my saree without my permission and said to me 1 day that " all her colleagues were asking her about new wardrobe and everything is new and fashionable"...u can imagine how much angry i got at that time....
i cursed to dh like anything and DH itslef told her directly that "subha don't share her personal things to anyone as she is clean freak,she don't share her food with me itself" ( i will share to dh now )..now she itself realized it and not touching any of things

SriVidya75 · Feb 22, 2012

whenever you are planning to buy salwar suits, tell her you can buy some for her too....if she is ready to buy the stuff because she likes your selection. Even convey the same to your husband. either you buy the stuff for her or STOP this exchanging thing. let your husbadn face the brunt of buying stuff for his lil sister.

If she genuinely likes your selection of dreses, she should ask you t o help in shopping. not try out your dresses to see how she looks.

pman16 · Feb 22, 2012

Some people do not get the message unless told directly. If you want to be in good books of inlaws and hubby, then better continue giving her else if you want to be at peace, tell her once politely and see what happens. You can buy sometimes for her (may be a different color)

monita · Feb 22, 2012

Meet her half way. before she is coming to your place, hide your most favourite dresses. If she asks, tell her that those are gone for a dry clean or some one else has borrowed them. But be open about sharing your not so favourite ones or the ones you are not so possessive about. If you have a good relationship with your SIL, this will be the best thing to do. Refusing to lend her your dresses will spoil the relationship.
Some people like to share things and wouldn't understand that the other person is not so willing.

cutekid · Feb 22, 2012

I would say...wear it in front of her...and dont wash it till she leaves.... []

anugamit · Feb 22, 2012

I too have same problem.... My SIL and MIL's SIL (35 years old now and unmarried) wore my dresses and sarees without my permission and even jewels i kept at my MIL's place. I told my DH and he said my MIL that i dont like to share my clothes...I never did even with my sisters when we grown up and bought our clothes with our own money. I dont know if they do it now...Even i told my MIL directly that let me wear my clothes first at least once then i dont mind giving them away to wear to anyone (this was when i was newly married and SIL was so fascinated by my new dresses and sarees and asked to wear within one month).

I like to share but only if i feel like giving and i did not mind some of my dresses sharing with her...there are incidences where i give away most of my dresses to someone in need but not who are greedy seeing my new dresses i dont feel like giving. I second with monita... you lend some of your not-so favourite dresses with her and not spoil your relationship.