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Sick Mil...sympathetic Husband...frustrated Me...please Help Me Out.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by yadh, Jul 7, 2016.

  1. yadh

    yadh New IL'ite

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    Hi friends,
    Mine is not a joint family.I was a working women for 5 yrs after marriage till my son was 3 yrs old.we hired a maid to look after my son who was staying at home and my mil took vrs and was just monitoring the maid without doing any household work and my son's work as she had severe lung disease.there was lot of confusions with the maid and my mil and hence we decided that me being a housewife will be good.and hence resigned my job...in 2012.
    Note: my parents are no more and cannot get any help from my maternal side.I was bright up by my grandparents,mom's sister....
    Now my mil is seriously ill and she stopped doing the one or two jobs also which she did earlier.my husband works from 4 pm till 1 am and hence can only drop my child at school....get groceries and come along with me to get vegetables.
    He never shares or helps me in any cleaning activity...I am totally frustrated with daily work,taking care of my very notty son whom it is difficult to make him sit to do homework.....
    One thing that irritates me is that I am not able to go and rest anywhere....if I complain to my husband he says....I am doing to much.....
    I took a franchisee for starting abacus classes and planning to keep a center on long term basis....as I am not in a situation to goto full time work...
    My mil does not do any work stating her illness,refuses to goto her daughter's house bcoz of the chill weather there....
    I never have any backup or place to go away from my home....my friends are busy in their own work....
    Please suggests me ways to relax myself....I want some time to accomplish my long time goal( abacus classes)....inspite of cooking,cleaning....my husband says hiring a cook or maid to help me when th small small works is bad.......he wants me to understand her mom's health as he does.....and is affected emotionally now bcoz of his mom's I'll health....


    Mil constantly interferes in all our discussions,talks all ideas against me....no privacy for us....when I tell this to my hubby he says I am looking things in different manner,makes small issues big and so on....abuses me that I never or even 1 % look after my son like his mom looked after him and so on......all this are become ng intolerable.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2016
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  2. dc24

    dc24 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Yadh
    In such a scenario the best way out is to have a fulltime maid at your place. try to convince your husband that it's so very important for you to be mentally and emotionally fit in order to religiously perform all the household duties.
    Since ur MIL is so unwell n little son naughty, perhaps postpone ur abacus classes for quite sometime.
    Regarding relaxation....yoga classes, painting, gardening or following ur hobby would be a good idea.
     
  3. ppoorna

    ppoorna New IL'ite

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    ur quite over-worked and stressed..u need to have some time for urself n ur hobbies. handling the housework plus ur unwell mil and also the kid can certainly take its toll. whats the reason ur husband doesnt want to go for a maid, personally i feel u can opt for a maid, as ur also going for part time job as well and quite squeezed for time and energy. atleast if not cook..atleast one for the cleaning and dishes wud reduce ur workload to certain extent.try to get a maid for cleaning stuff first... and gradually later on u can press for cook as well
    for relaxaton do some pranayam and meditatin for some 10 mins a day i think u wud see the results of it. try to read some books which interest u and watch relaxing movies. guess we hav ups n downs in life and currently looking down for u, im sure things wud be better gradually as ur kid also is growng. does ur hubby hav sundays off..if so u cud go out for lunch/dinner /movie and stay few hrs away frm home to make up for loss of privacy
     

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