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Shower!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by rgsrinivasan, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Another night of sleeplessness added in my list, though this was due to my own intention. I waited, waited and waited for all the other sounds to cease, hoping it would happen sometime. Living in a city, I know its a tall ask, but waited nevertheless. There is that little something that adds more meaning to what you waited for, when you realize it. Even if you don't get it, its fine. You feel exhausted, well spent and brace yourself saying, "Well! I tried by bit!", later. The loud horn of lorries [why do they honk in the middle of the night?], the cacophony of what must be the omnibuses and the "vroom" of the motorbikes kept me tossing and turning. I kept my focus on the screen that covered the bedroom windows and the air conditioner just below. The screen was old and the closed doors that it covered were even so and left little streaks of light from outside. Thankfully, there were no bright lights behind my bedroom wall.

    I could spot a few spots in the opposite wall to be illuminated a bit dully against the weak pale light that the night lamp was giving from the far end. This light appeared like shadows, here and there in the wall, disturbing the uniformly gloomy surface. I was playing one melody after another in my head, suiting my mood, often ruing about people whom I can never meet again. It must be about 1 A.M. or so, when I could trace that chill creeping in. The A.C. unit paused after reaching the desired temperature and I could sense that eeriness all over. It was soon replaced by a tiny moment of thrill, as I heard that sound, gently at first and then in fine rhythm within a few minutes. I stood up and came to the other room without disturbing my family and moved to the other room which had two small windows. I stood there, holding the window grill, watching the rain pouring lightly, resisting the urge to get drenched. I turned on the normal yellow light then, to see if the rain could be turned to a shower of gold. "Childish!", you may think. Yes, But I still liked doing such things.

    The rain stopped, leaving that moment of quietness that I waited for all along. I was like a lizard, moments before catching its prey. All still, but with only one thought racing at the speed of light inside. It was so intense that I closed my eyes tight that it hurt, but sent a blinding light. Shivering involuntarily, I shook myself vigorously, but was still not out of it. Moments later, it calmed down as I felt my heart beat easing as though I was tranquilized. I tried moving and it introduced me the pain when pierced by thousands of needles. Within a minute it ceased, as I regained myself and went back to the bedroom. I switched off the night lamp then and lied down, giving myself to the hum of the AC unit. Soon I should have been asleep, and woke up with a start. I looked at the opposite wall then and sat mesmerized. There was a pattern of dull light of gold on it, so real that I could scoop it all if I tried. It felt like, I had to do that right then or else, its value would decline dramatically. The dull golden pattern were soon replaced by fantastic silver dots and thin lines, which kept increasing quickly, making me feel that everything in that room was basked in that lovely aura, melting me all along. The gloominess of the night was torn by the long and winding ray of silvery steel just before my eyes, lifting my spirit so much that my eyes filled up. It was so merciful that you reel, feeling how unkind it could really be, as you don't deserve it in the first place. Like a big tide rolling you all over, it came, kept coming, breaking all your timid defenses and took you in its arms, asking what else you wanted.

    Feeling revved up several octanes, I lost all control, felt goosebumps all over, refusing the weak urge to try coming out of it. Slowly I came back to my senses, and realized that I could not hear anything then. It felt like every pore of mine turned to eyes to see that beauty and tried at best yet feeling woefully short to sustain. The windows were open and I was the only one in the bed, sitting bewildered. A long and bright ray fell on the clock on the opposite wall and the calendar. "I won today!", said my kid, hugging me tight.

    I feel that I am one of those lucky few who will never be alone!
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: Wish you happy magara SANKARANTHI - happy Pongal and holidays.

    2. I read it as sleep was about to embrace me. It was siesta time. From rain to Ac to shower to finally hug of your kid in between you suffered a kind of insomnia wondering about noise light & your loneliness! But it was not to be.
    You sprang a surprise with a hug with open arms perhaps.
    Regards.
     
  3. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks @Thyagarajan for reviving this thread. In fact I was not suffering from insomnia, but was lost deep in mourning about the loss of my dear ones and trying to accept the inevitable truth. I was trying to regroup myself with any possible thing and rain came, as a blessing. Then I realized that even the rain was not alone, as it was draped in gold by the yellow lights. Seeing the pattern formed in the opposite wall in my bedroom, anytime in the night, due to the gaps in the window where the screen didn't cover and the tiny needle-spot gaps in the screen that are visible in the nights alone screen. The soft glow of the night that is so soothing to the tired eyes and that melancholy gently settles in, as you get that hope that you are protected by those dear ones though they are not here. And when you wake up from that reverie and feel the sudden void, if you are embraced by another dear one, you feel so happy. Isn't it? I tried pouring in whatever that came out of my mind and did not try editing it, but for the last line, which I felt was too revealing, later when I read.

    Happy Pongal to you and your family sir! -rgs
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Thank you Sir for festival wish.
    Thanks also for the delightful elucidation . Yes i agree the hugs are different and wonderful to cherish for long.
    Regards.
     
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  5. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Please do address me simply as 'rgs', @Thyagarajan sir. Happy to receive another feedback :) -rgs
     
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