Should you forgive your inlaws?

Have they asked for forgiveness? Are they even aware that owe you an apology? If yes, then do forgive. If not, then whats the point?

 

what do you mean by forgive. Are you saying forgiving is you being your old self and continue giving your hard earned money for funding their expenses(like in the name of dowry they did).
If thats what you mean than my answer is heck no. Not a single penny of yours reaches them. Make sure everything is invested so you won't be left with anything to give.
If forgiving is being peaceful, not trying to change them, being normal and acting like them. Than I would say yes. do it like your h and be at peace with all the drama that has happened so far.

 

we can never forget what they did. Nor we can forgive them. But its important to at least forget all this for having peace with in our selfs. Coming to be nice with them..well we can not go and fight with them but can definitely make sure to maintain enough distance and ignore them as existing creatures.

 

GoaAhead, that is regular MIL, atleast Indian MIL. They are different in front of their sons all sweet, and behind their back all devilish. So one big consolence, you are not alone! :cheers

You have to forgive for ur own sake, ur own peace, DH's happiness, family peace. But to forget or not, is upto you. See if some friends are mean, we can move away from them and get other friends. But with in-laws, we cannot move away and get diff set of in-laws. So learn to live, at the same time you don't need to sell urself to be on their good books. Just be cordial!

You always got friends to vent in Indusladies! :thumbsup

 

For your own mental peace you need to forgive them. Be cautious around them and don't trust them but forgive them to maintain a cordial relationship with them. I stopped caring why my MIL and SIL can't stand me, I just accept it, that's who they are and accept we will never have an emotional caring relationship, but I still respect them for being related to my husband.

 

Yes She is a regular MIL .....Maintain safe physical and emotional distance with her........At times be indifferent and insensitive and let them know that nothing about them interests you any more.........This will make her fume always.........

 

Go ahead,

Forgiveness is not something that you do to others. It is something that you do to yourself. It makes you let go of all things holding you back and sets you free so that you can go and live your life in peace and with joy. This does not mean that you have to have very good relations with your in-laws. Don't talk to them if your heart says so. But it means that you rid yourself of all negativity in your life. Think about it. You need peace to do what your handle says , 'Goahead'.

 

OP, i also think many a times, should I forgive my in laws for whatever they have done to me....and maintain a cordial relationship with them? sometimes i think that yes and i will not let them do the same things to me again but yes i will maintain the relationship....but again I think that am i thinking in this way as it is easier or it is the right thing to do??
some people dont change so they dont deserve forgiveness... but if you forgive your life would be easy as you dont have to face unpleasantness and resistance and pressure from you hubby/soceity...but not to forgive is the correct thing which these kind of people deserve but for that you have to be more brave because its difficult due to our soceity...choice is yours

 

If they ask for forgiveness whole heartedly, and behave like one... you may consider forgiving them provided that your heart and mind must accept the fact that they are indeed asking forgiveness and not acting or pretending to get more money or anything from you. So, give time to your heart to analyze, understand and accept things as it is... If both your mind and heart say YES, then go ahead.. Forgive them.

Just for the matter of your own peace, and society, do not try to act as if you have no grudges over your in laws, yet you have forgiven them. Once forgiven, you are not expected to hold on to your past, and take revenge or cry loud for whatever happened.

I am able to forgive my husband, hence I started loving him whole heartedly... But my mind is unable to forget what he had done to me in the past, so there is always a trust issue that I am combating with.
I am unable to forgive or forget my in laws and their acts, since I never loved them in the past, nor do I think that I can love them anymore. So, I didn't even try forgiving them.

I act as if I am normal in front of them, I don't take revenge or fight or cry... But it doesn't mean I have forgiven them.

Forgiving is easy than forgetting... That's the best way to deal the problems too... But to give forgiveness, there suppose to be a request. You can't voluntarily forgive someone.