Should I Work Or Stay Home

I second this.
Why is it the human tendency not to let a good thing be, and engage in self-harm ?

 

Dont quit the job! Ask your DH to pitch in for kids and house related work.

My mentor once told me ‘we women plan ahead when to quit and how to make way for other things’.. instead ‘ we need to plan ahead for keeping job and manage other things around’. ‘Quitting job’ is the first solution that comes to woman’s mind when any difficult situation arises. It is not a SOLUTION..its an EXCUSE!!

Imho.. we are not working for money alone.. there is some extra respect, financial independance and most inportantly being a role model for kids. If we give up in difficult situations.. how are the kids going to learn to deal with such situations.


Plan.. plan .. plan to make things work with your job.

 

If possible can you opt for an easy job where you can come back home early and can enjoy both the things.

 

In your situation I would not leave the job. You will end up doing full time seva for your in-laws instead of enjoying your time off and taking care of your kids. You should have an honest conversation with your husband with regards to his expectations about what you will do for his parents. Why do you need to be subtle after all these years? If he gets upset then that's his problem. You need to be heard too.
Keep your job, go part time if you can and use the money to make your life more comfortable: cleaning and yard services, grocery delivery and hiring home health aides for your in-laws.

 

You surely could try freelancing work or something less stressful like giving coachings to students in coaching center like a guest faculty.

 

Reading your post it definitely feels like you will become the primary caregiver, driver, etc for your in laws. You will be expected to do all the house work n drive them for all their appointments n take care of any of their needs. N without a job protecting your hours, your entire 24/7 would be at their disposal.

If your mil can taunt you for working from home during your child birth, imagine the “no job” situation now.

Your bil seems to be clear about his wife n your ILs, wherein your dh is super sensitive about it.

Suggestions:
Since you can’t ask your dh about all this directly, You can gently ask about how he is gona manage the doctor appointments with his ofis hours. Or come up with any work related to them n how your dh is gona manage them, make a statement - question kinda dialogue without sounding too direct that might trigger fights.

Second, Stop over doing at work n at home n share more responsibilities with the other family members too, so all are contributing n not just you alone. Try to find some Balance so that you can continue working without your health getting worse.
Speak to your dh n kids (as they are bigger now) n try to find a balance at home. Health is important, because if it’s not taken care, it’s gona be you n your family who’s gona suffer in the long run.

 

Well, doesnt matter what you DH says now, once your ILs are with you , you have to do all the stuff.
Who will take them to the doc, why will your DH take leave when you are "free" at home?
Who will cook then stuff per their needs - you
Who will be their gopher ? you
You will take over even the little bit of stuff your DH does at home.

If you think you are busy now and quitting will give you time to spend more quality time with yourself and with family - well you couldnt be more wrong. You will land up being just as busy and no time for self , just that now you have no pay , and lesser respect from all - not just ILs but also your kids and DH.

 

Please dont ever quit your job. Especially since your inlaws are going to live with you soon. I would go crazy cooped up 24*7 with inlaws. Inlaws responsibility’s will definitely fall on you since you are at home. It would spoil peace for the entire family. If current job is stressful please look for less stressful positions, but dont quit.