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Should I Walk Out Of Marriage? Advice Plz..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Newbee1, Nov 22, 2017.

  1. luvpeace

    luvpeace New IL'ite

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  2. luvpeace

    luvpeace New IL'ite

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  3. VinuthaS

    VinuthaS Silver IL'ite

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    Hello newbee1 ,
    Hang in there ... it's just 10 months ... the DHs cannot stop doing all the things they did before marriage to their families... if they do something like that, again the blame for all that will be on the wife's for brain washing their DHs .. .
    Nobody cares about the new family or thier requirements...

    We are married for 9 years and there are lot of things my hubby has to cater to towards his mom, his sis and her family also(sis +2 kids+her hubby), there are still some sacrifices we do ...
    As we live in dubai its is unlimited amount of branded cloths , bags, perfume etc etc , also there trip to Dubai completely sponsored by us including gold shopping ..
    But I also see that my husband is slowly realising that he is being used but will not say a word to me .. men ego and they feel we will disrespect their family ..

    But all this is not as much as it used to be before , take up one battle at a time, it is important to communicate and be assertive, put your foot down ..

    Have lot of patience, your priority should be to be independent and your relationship with him ...

    Enjoy the golden time when you are not living with the inlaws, you all the privacy and time just for your self ...

    Everything will take time , but u need to be more patient...

    All the best ..
     
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  4. Newbee1

    Newbee1 Junior IL'ite

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    Thank you so much ashneys for this advice.After the fight when I calmed down ,these were the things I was thinking too..
    He has apologized to me said he will try harder but in the meantime I cried for whole 2 days thinking about what has happened to my life. Just a sorry wont make those sufferings go away. I am still hurt and dont want to look at him. When I look at him I see a man who maybe hates me ,I remember all those mean things he said and I start crying again.I know I should not,but I do. Yes, I want to be financial independent asap. I also dont want to wait H4 EAD as I will still be dependent on him.
    Thanks for taking time and replying to my post.It encouraged me and I appreciate it :)
     
  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    If the house is in ur fil name, this is a huge risk.
     
  6. Newbee1

    Newbee1 Junior IL'ite

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    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
    I am glad I found this forum, as it gives many opinions/solutions that I couldnt have thought of.

    I guess I am a bit late for the advice with in laws.I already pointed out to him when he called me materialistic that his brother is demanding too much. Anyways I need to work on patience.Wish me luck!
     
  7. Newbee1

    Newbee1 Junior IL'ite

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    Thanks Jamelia02, Yes I plan on doing the same thing,being financially independent.
     
  8. Newbee1

    Newbee1 Junior IL'ite

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    Thanku so much @udontunderstand..
    You think very positively. I agree with what you have said and its true. However sometimes when things go out of hand I find it difficult to keep calm. I hope things will change for better but right now its a very difficult thing to do just to focus on positives.I will try though..
     
  9. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Girls have to leave their home after marriage that's why its always clear to them they are going to have another family and to adjust accordingly. But boys have the feeling that one more person is going to add in the family which will make the family complete. Its on the later stages that they realise about their separate life and the issues related. Here after reading everyone's reply and analysing my situation I feel its true. My husband also used to do a lot for his family. But now he himself says that he overdone everything and now don't want to do any more.
     
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  10. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Its mostly other way around.He is too much interested in his mother brother and their comfort because of low hormones.He is not involve in you as his wife.He doesnt care much about you.Intimacy is root cause of his behaviour.OP i am not sure how severe issue is.( have not read whole thread) But if he is gay its better to geet out of marriage NOW than LATTER.Time is on your side.One year break from carrier is nothing.Infosys can easily take you back or any other company in India in your field.
     
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