should i go for divorce?

fine, since this was her reaction... stop telling her what you wanted to do.. and just go ahead doing ... pls meet with a third person in common to u ppl.. may be a counsellor or lawyer.. and ask what ever u stated here and ask y is she acting weird. tell her straight this is not the general behaviour..

and "she wouldnt give divorce" is it so... tell her "that you want to live ur life as she is doing" simple....

 

Now she knows that she cant take you for granted... she will probably cry on the guys shoulder about how mean you were or come back and make amends and try to work on your relationship. Much depends on the advise the other guy will give her... Dont show you are upset or depressed...just be the same.

Even if you dont visit a lawyer, let her believe that you did visit a lawyer and papers could be filed anytime soon... Ask her to give you a reason why she doesnt want a divorce or why she is behaving the way she is. Tell her she needs to mend her ways asap if she doesnt want a divorce...also let her know that you intend to talk to her parents too...with or without her. I think she is confused about what she wants... Wait for few days and see if there is any improvement in her behaviour then decide on the next step of talking to her parents.

I feel you also need to put pressure on the other guy... invite him over and talk to them both. or make enquiries about the other guy ...his reputation with the ladies etc , so that you have an upper hand of proof when you confront him....

 

Hi Praneeth, I would say just act and let her know that you did visit the lawyer like mansimahi says. And if there is no change in her behaviour even then, please go ahead and talk to her parents about this.

 

Hi Praneeth.. My two cents.
There might be some reason on why she is behaving like this.
Reason1: You told that she was friend with this guy before marriage. There might be situation like the guy liked your wife... might have proposed her also. For some reasons she might have rejected him(may be family pressure or cast issue or something else). But have kept their friendship (according to her) running. And she got married to you. But she is more close to that guy.
I've seen many girls doing that. Their parents will select a guy and they'll be in a relationship with another guy. Even after engagement or marriage they talk with both the guys... that too interestingly. I mean its hard to find out that they will not be interested in the marriage. I've seen such cases very closely in my college and even in office. They'll tell their boyfriend everything that happens..even what they talk with their fiancée. They'll be in dilemma. Many girls in that age who are having relationship and who cannot marry their BF for some reason will be in this state. Confused. Some guys even after knowing that their GF is getting married will not stop communicating with them. Few do it for time pass, fun and some for adrenaline rush. Believe me its hard for guys to accept rejection (NOM).
He is making use of the situation. He is influencing your wife. He is just acting to show that he is more caring and you are not. He picks up, drops her up...keeps her engaged..tries to show that he is so much caring(not to drive in ECR...which is total crap). I doubt that the dialogues your wife says..(like..i don't like you...i'm not interested..i don't like walking...etc) is influenced by that guy.
She might be innocent (may be or may not be). When the guy knows she is married and if he is decent enough he would not have interfered in your relationship.
Reason2: They might be just friends before marriage. After marriage she might have started feeling lonely (You said you leave by 7am and return at 9pm). Usually for those who have grown up with friends surrounding them, find it very hard to be alone. She might have started talking to him. And that has increased day by day and has reached the level of midnight messages. He is misusing this chance.

As some of our friends suggested take her to a good counselor. You need to know why she is behaving like this. Tell her that you both need to visit. Be polite and patient. When someone is so stubborn patience will help you.
Try to spend more time with her. You leave at 7am and reach home at 9pm where as she leaves at 10am and return at 5pm. So it leaves 7hrs of her time being alone. This might also be one of the reasons. Idle mind is devils workshop. The more she is alone, the more is the chance that she moves away from you. Try to change your work timings. Try if it is possible to change your work location to nearby office. Or you shift your house to near your office and ask her to change the job. This will avoid her going with him. The best advice I would give is to change the city itself. The more she meets him, the more their companion ship grows. Old habits die hard.
Try to spend more time with her... stop cooking.. at least for one time say in the evening... if you really want to cook try to involve her. Ask her can I do this, can I do that... so that her attention will be diverted from chatting with that guy.
Take her out. Don't cancel your trip. Take her outside. Try to talk about different topics... movies, songs.... Don't bring the topic of that guy. Ask about her likes and dislikes... her favorite locations...Try to be as polite as you can. I know its difficult to follow. But please give a try... don't lose hope.

 

If you wish to go ahead in your marriage, nag your wife that the lawyer advised for counselling. Select a counsellor and take appointment and time. tell your wife you have done it. Also state that the lawyer suggested that counselling is the initial step to save your marriage. Else the lawyer said inform her parents and initiate your legal rights.
This may help you take her to counselling.

 

Praneeth, wait it out a bit. Tell her you are willing to consider working on the marriage if she agrees to a couples counselling session. Your threat of going to a lawyer seems to have been a much-needed wake-up call for your wife. But, I suggest you don't become sentimental and all gooey immediately as she may think she can cry her way through tough times without taking responsibility or accountability. Before going to counseling, try to have some heart-to-heart talk during the weekend. Hopefully she will come around and realize her folly. Good luck.

 

I think your wife was just caught up being friends with that guy. might be she was forced into marriage but she seems innocent. I dont think she has cheated on you. I think you can work it out. there is something going on in her mind and she is not able to confide in you. Fear or trust - shes unable to confide in you. whatever you are doing is working. shes coming out of shell. I think you might want to chat with her parents (since they were close to you and you guys know each other for a long time). If you can ask them how to handle her.

 

Now is the time you have to be strong... dont threaten too much about divorce now...You have shown her that you are considering divorce which has shaken her.... she has now had a realty check and it is upto her to work on your relationship. Now you be around for few days patiently...she has to think it out through. Suggest going out for few days to just talk things out... dont expect changes overnight... be patient for few more days and then you can talk to her parents. If you love her, you owe it to yourself to give her a chance., but dont be overly emotional or clingy. Be patient but be a bit distant... show her you are there if she wants to talk., and unless she talks things cannot go further.