Should i divorce my spouse?

Please!do it

 

I don't think only divorce is solution .first you have to work on your relationship , speak out after all nothing is perfect . Sometimes we have to adjust and they sometimes . Meanwhile you start your career and have a change . If still you strongly feel then you may go on your wish

 

You are lucky to have an easy calm life . U are making it un necessarily complicated.

I see people in this forum and outside where husband are not trust worthy cheaters and don't care about wife. Doesn't give any importance to wife so on and so forth . I am not sure what you have tried, I cannot just blame u. I just want to understand what I am saying.


Whats wrong in U taking initiative to make your married life stronger .

1. First and For Most -->Why don’t you love and show ur love and make him love you ( Love means pure un conditional love)
2. Secondly -->Men go to work, they have to face lot of things. The have to deal with people at work and also other people outside. So that the reason woman should take initiative and protect the married life.
3. Thirdly -->Most of the men are kids and Mamms’s boys. These type of men have good attachment to their mom. You shud treat ur DH like a baby.

This is what I want you to try.


Firstly you need to get your DH attention on your side.

1. Impress your DH

1. With Your attitude
2. With your nice funny and embracing talks
3. Cook the food that he likes the most ( if you don’t know what he likes the most. Watch out his dinner plate and see the quantity he eats and also observe his fascial expressions)
4. Talk about his good qualities, strengths. ( This would boost
5. Obey his words. Whatever he says just obey. Obey in his decisions and all other aspects. Obey and support him.
6. Don’t do anything that he may not like. Try to think standing on his shoes and do you day to day tasks.

Once you impress him, he would eventually fall for you and will come to your line.

1. Once he reaches home from work. Leave all ur work and give him coffee or milk and talk to him about what he did at his work place . Do this for 1 full month. After 1 month he will come looking for you to tell what he did or if he achieved something big at his work. He would come to you where ever you are in the house.

1. Try to spend time with him. If you are home maker. Do your house hold chores during day. No pending work. Once he reaches home , you are supposed to spend as much time as possible with him. I know u don’t like him, but pls take initiative. In the evening if he watches movies/TV. Sit with him and watch. If he is on phn with him. Sit with him and listen his conversation . If phone conversation is work related and personal leave him alone. Also make calls to those people /friends who you both know. Put speaker phone and talk to those people whom you both know.
2. Frequently visit other friends and families. This will help him look what other husbands are doing. Even you do the same, look what other wife's are doing for their husbands. Look for the good ones that other Wife's are doing.
3. Go to movie together.
4. Go to park together
5. Go to shopping together
6. Give him special gifts, make something with ur own hand for special occasions

Once you are in good terms in talks and understanding , u will not have any problem taking this relationship forward. He would do the second part


In other words, do the opposite of what you been doing today. Don’t stay moody and don’t let him stay moddy.

 

Glad to know that there are no kids involved. Please do separate and start your career.

 

may be he too thinks you are not ambitious? It works both ways hun.

If your parents kept you out of work, what did you do since you got married?

Sorry to be rude, but stop looking at marriage as ur meal ticket . Offer him companionship, you will get the same in return. You can then slowly encourage him to do better.

 

How could u ask her to get divorce.
You could have asked her to try something to fix her married life

 

I totally agree, it's 2 way. It's not bad idea for atlest one of them taking intiative to fix the relationship . If both husb and wife pull the string ,it would break into 2 pieces . If one of them controls and minimizes the pressure by not pulling the string the relationship stays healthy. Why does the op have ego, why can't she give a try to build her married life back

 

Please do seperate.

before runing down another person what exactly you achieved in your life ?

 

I also feel that you should give this relation a try. You have mentioned he is a good friend.. many of gals fail to find friend in their husbands... if you share a good understanding... you can try to build attraction/romance...

for most of us.. especially arrang marriages... attraction doesnot come with marriage package.. eventually with efforts... we bring this... Generally guys are not good at taking initiatives... so what.. cant we keep ego aside and take first step... loads of ideas already shared by @akshaya452

Honeymoon... there are many couples who dont go.... but if two starts to come close to each other.. you still can make nice trips now...

No taking initiatives: Many gus dont realize this by their own.. you can try to motivate him or when you can start sharing/communicating with each other.. you may come to know about the reason why he is not making efforts...

Can't you start your career while being in this marriage... this will also keep you busy and will make you feel good...

What if you take divorce and later on you marry someone who is well established.. a good leader.. what if after marriage.. he is all d way dominating you... not giving you space.. or there are any other ILs issues... there are so many hidden issues which come with marriage and you cannot judge them prior to marriage...

so if there are not much quarrels between you too.. there are no financial issues.. there are not much of IL issues... you should make some efforts!!

All d best!