Should a women lie about her physical past with other Men?

I myself would rather let the past be in the past, why bring up past relationships and burden our minds with more worries and unnecessary thoughts. There are somethings that should be kept with us than shared with a spouse. Even though i didn't have much of a past (when it comes to being in relationships) i didn't disclose to my husband the guys I dated or whatever we did on those dates, in spite of him asking me. Once he even told me how come you have not told me anything about the guys you dated, i have told you everything. I just smiled and told myself maybe one day when i am really pissed with you I will share it with you.

Sometime we humans have a tendency to dig up past dirt during arguments and fights. So, abcd guy whatever has been disclosed to you by your fiance you have no other choice but to accept it and move on, which in your case you have done so... I was on the receiving end as you, i would rather not have know who my husband's gf's were but he was being too honest with me. I was his last gf and i am glad i was his last and not the first

 

Past is past and we do not have any control over our partners past life.I don't think it is necessary to know your spouses past behavior as it is not going to do good to you.Human mind is weird and such past when known might keep haunting you all the time and might give rise to trust issues as well.

 

Hi ABCDGuy....

forgiveness....revenge.....blah..blah all related to mind man....but I believe you should think these by your heart...

mens' brains are in pants not in heads..... I hope this suits you better.... what say????

thats the reason you are asking these questions...

 

Well, I feel this is one of those trick questions where you get upset no matter what our answer is, IF YOU WERE THE TYPICAL INDIAN. Most or I could say confidently, almost all of us are brought up this certain way, with ideas about monogamy and loyalty before/after marriage as the right way in life. If you believe in going strictly by these rules, yes, it would be difficult to even know about her past. And if you can't live with it, you should let go.

If you were to think outside the box and look beyond all these and accept the current "trend" which is the influence of western culture, which is the reality, and if you really wanted to let go, don't poke or pry at it. Just let it be and like you said, create your own memories with her and look forward to the future of THIS relationship and hope she does the same too.

As for me, I'd go by the second option. That DOES NOT mean I'm giving up my values, I still get to keep them living the sincere life with him/her right now.

If my husband were type 2, it'd be best for the both of us. If he were to think otherwise, its my own responsibility to have told him about the history before we got married and let him decide what he wants to do next - be type 1 or type 2. There are no in between options.

 

There is no hierarchy. But I have found that trust and respect are the topmost qualities required. All the others follow from that. And one more thing: There can never be love without respect. People say that their spouse loves them a lot but does not respect them; do you call that love?

You talk about compromise. Marriage should not be based on compromise because you will resent it down the road. It is a commitment and not a charitable institution where you bestow favor on anybody but your true self. Yes, you compromise on small things, not on your values. For you, her past is of concern to you. So if I were you, I would not compromise on my values, and move on.

 

I agree with yout views. It makes sense

 

I agree with you Satchitananda. It will be worst if he/she finds out from third party. In most cases it does not happen, but there are people who might be jealous of you and don't want you to live a happy married life. OR they don't want you to get married to that boy/girl because they have some personal vendetta or benefit.

Its all in the mindset of a person. As I said Indians are very sensitive in this matter because we have been brought up that way. Sex has been and always be a taboo. Maybe 100 yrs down the line, it won't be. But I believe it will be a sensitive issue for a long long time.

 

Men can hide n number of relationships but y cant a women do? The point of forgiving never comes.. one have to live the present with commitment thats all